A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Single….and The New Year

This article was written by AlohaLover…. a woman who has struggled, survived, and is learning how to live again.

She wanted to share with you, how she ‘survives’ the Holiday’s.



5…4…3…2…1…..HAPPY NEW YEAR!


You made it through the Holidays but you still have one more, one week later. Yep…New Years Eve.  I have never…ever, liked New Years.  From the time I was a kid, I have never enjoyed New Years Eve….never.  I can be at the best party, with the love of my life, with family and all the while I am wishing I were home.  Honest.

The first 2 years with the sociopath were bliss.  Fancy clothing…that he picked out and told me to wear.  Expensive champagne, that I taught him about and of course HE took credit for it, an intimate dinner, a text message that he, cleverly, tried to hide and the fake smile…my fake smile pretending not to believe he is cheating.

The ‘ firsts ‘ will always be the hardest. So, it’s important to have a game plan.   For me, the offer to go out on NYE would have to be SO GOOD and so amazing that if I didn’t go out, I would be doomed forever.  So far, and it’s been 2 NYE’s for me, this will be my 3rd  and not one offer has been that amazing.  But, I’m not sad at the thought of staying home and here’s why.  A few days before the dreaded night, I clean my house, I make a run to HomeGoods for candles and a journal.  I stop at Target, Nordstrom Rack or WalMart and buy soft cozy PJ’s.  I go to the market and pick up food to cook and a really nice bottle of wine.  When asked by the clerk if I was ready for the new year, no doubt thinking I was going to have a romantic dinner with my man,  I reply “You bet I am”. She didn’t need to know I was going to celebrate (YES CELEBRATE ) alone.  NYE-Day, I usually watch those wonderful Lifetime Movies where the man, husband, boyfriend is as awful as the Ex and he usually ends up….well, watch one and you’ll see.  I then play with the dogs, take a hot bath, start cooking, open the wine, light the candles and sigh….a deep long sigh that seems to come from my toes. As I let it out, I smile…I have my life back and my power. The TV will be on and I will be half watching it, in between writing in my new journal of all the things the NY will bring me and all the things I plan to do.  Sit back for one moment, even if it’s through tears and be proud of yourself.  YOU are away from the abusive sociopath.  You are making your own decisions.  You are creating your own new year…your own new you. BRAVO!

When I first found this site, I was broken….b-r-o-k-e-n-.  I didn’t understand any of it.  “But, he loved me….I was the love of his life.”   I didn’t think I would make it…so when I read your story and your heartache….I was there April 22, 2014.  I get it and at this moment you feel your life is ending.  I know that feeling.  A very wise, very compassionate, very brave woman told me, as I sobbed, she said “ You won’t believe me now, but you will get through this.  I promise you, you will make it through this storm.”  Of course, I didn’t believe it….but I did.  I clawed my way up from hell and while I will never be the same person I was, I like me so much better.  I am a warrior, I am a survivor and you will be too.  Do you ever recover?  From the taste of my salty tears, I don’t think so but I know, I will never go back to hell.

Happy New Year…Happy New You brave one.


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