Hello S~
I read your email twice. I have to say about the donation and every time you break no contact you do it………”because it has to hurt in other area’s.” I imagine you have and are financially strapped because of that crazy Sociopath! And if this is what you need to do, make it HURT, I am going to put YOUR donation aside, and you are going to give me a ‘goal date’….meaning, YOU decide when you think, THINK you have finally once and for all have stopped the addicition. Then I am going to donate your money back to you. So really, what you are doing is making a very serious, financial obligation to not only yourself, but to me as well. I’m walking this path with you! I KNOW the addiction, I KNOW the backslides, I KNOW the head-fucking games done. S, I have been exactly where you are!!!! I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the next hour, let alone 24 hours!!! But I did………..hard as fuck, but I did! I, with all my education, knowledge etc am still afterall a female who was looking for ‘love’. HA~ I found pure evil.
Okay, no onto you. I understand about being more spiritual vs religious. Why, would you go to that depth of……..filth? in church? What was YOUR gain by doing so? To please her? And no Shane, she absolutlely feels ZERO GUILT. NONE! That is like asking you, ‘do you know what it ‘feels’ like to have a limb missing?’. No, you don’t know that ‘feeling’, and guilt is a feeling that she lacks, along with every other NORMAL feelings NORMAL humans have.
You are just an easy ‘fix’ for her………whether she is bored, whether she is between men, whether she knows she can suck you back into crazy because you are weak in her mind.
She throws in her latest victim for a reason, to hurt you. Period. And who else is she going to blame? Herself? Come on Shane….your much smarter now to understand her sick/twisted mind! She will attack you from the clothes you wear, to the shampoo, to financial choices to maybe a gold fish dying when you were a small boy. Again~ that is what she does, find a ‘weakness’ and pounce on it, chew it up and spit it in your face! No regrets, no ‘guilt’, no nothing!
I know it’s making you crazy in the head because you can’t understand why you just cannot stick to the No Contact. You want to believe her, her want to think ‘maybe she changed’, you are trying to comprehend a person who truly does not exist other than walking/talking. There is NOTHING in her heart, nothing in her soul~ those are void area’s within her. So to sustain herself, she sucks the good out of other people {because she lacks any love/compassion/care etc}…..once she get’s herself ‘full’………BAM! She throws you to the trash!
Please, please, please, I beg of you, when/IF she contacts you or tries to contact you, YOU contact ME! Immediately! I will star your email address so it will alert my phone. You can do this, I promise, and just think of the saving’s you will be getting in return {your donations}, that means you saved yourself from evil!!!!!
xx
Kind regards,
Taela