A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Female Sociopath

Statistically there are more male sociopath’s than female. Because there is not a database as such for ‘documented’ Sociopaths this statistic is made up from  Martha Stout Ph.D and her book ‘The Sociopath Next Door’.  The National Mental Health Institute says it’s 1 in 100 and that it’s more likely to find Antisocial Personality Disorder (the DSM-IV term) in men.

I believe it is harder to identify Antisocial Personality Disorder, specifically Narcissistic Sociopath in women as often times they have been labeled the ‘vindictive ex-wife’, or the ‘crazy ex-girlfriend’. These women can also portray the helpless victim mask, therefore gaining more sympathy and more {false} credibility. Society as a whole, tends to overlook female Sociopaths simply because when a relationship with a female Sociopath falls apart they are usually labeled the crazy ex-whatever. Sociopath women lie so easily and without conscience, that when the relationship with their partner falls apart {after they methodically and systematically destroy it} they can make their partner out to be a worthless, horrible human, (when in all reality, she probably sucked the life out of him). When a man has been a victim of a Female Sociopath, usually one of the above labels is given, {crazy ex-girlfriend, vindictive ex-wife ect} instead of a Sociopath and/or Narcissistic Sociopath.

Female Sociopaths are mentally and emotionally destructive liar’s, cheaters & deceivers, etc. They are extremely self-centered, and she is always right! Some female sociopaths may be unable to care for their children, providing the unconditional love and nurturing. Her children are just another ‘object’ to be used against the father. The children are often used as a supply source for her. Or in some cases divorced sociopath women with children will use them to gain sympathy from a new partner. These children can grow up feeling like an inconvenience to their mother’s, as they are also emotionally and mentally manipulated. They are also, in some cases made to feel inadequate, and never living up to their mother’s standards. Some female sociopaths are emotionally disconnected from their children, causing the ‘whiplash’ scenario, leaving the children with a deep craving for admiration. Could this be the beginning of some Narcissist?

Many of these women ‘appear’ normal in the public setting, but are verbally and emotionally abusive in the private setting. The Female Sociopath needs to be dominate, and she does this by being verbally intimidating and emotionally manipulative. She will systematically attack your personality, your objections, your displays of emotion, and your questions. She does this to obtain her supply source, {boost to her ego/dominating factor} They want do this with  little or no regards to your needs and wants. To a Female Sociopath the end justify’s the mean’s.

Female Sociopath have a high sex drive, and in case studies, sex is not just good, it is over-the-top good. They are also very sexually promiscuous.  As with this sex drive, they use this as one of the many manipulation tools to attract her next victim, she  will use sex to her advantage, unbeknownst to the male.  She will appear sympathetic, caring, concerned and display all the empathy/sympahty emotions, when in all reality she is pulling you in closer to keep the control for personal gain.  This could be for material possessions, financial reasons, or reassurance that she is ‘the one’ (when she in fact may have several ‘one’s on the side). If a Female Sociopath feels she is being exposed,  she may turn up the passion, and give you the false sense of  security that you have nothing to fear. Or you will begin to see the Narcissistic Rage(s) if you haven’t already. She may be setting you up to leave, so she will keep you emotionally and physically close. Female Sociopaths can show fake their emotions if they are caught, and blame perhaps a one incident {yet you know the incidents are repeated behaviour}, on someone or something else, never taking accountability. Some men are so drawn to the physical aspect with a female Sociopath that when they catch their partner, girlfriend/wife cheating and lying, they tend to believe the lies more easily because the female Sociopath can turn on the sex factor, play the ‘pity card’, or cry rivers of tears while expressing how “sorry” she is etc.  Therefore this puts the man back into the spin cycle of crazy and the false sense of security.

Women sociopaths are PTA mom’s, soccer mom’s, the ‘girl next door’. They are brutality emotionally and financially destructive. Female Sociopaths have a better time manipulating the court system (as they prey on the sympathy) of lawyer’s, judges etc, and can fake show their tears much easier than men. These women easily manipulate the court system in their favour with financial judgments, all done by made up lies about the man, false documentation, and coerced  ‘statement’s’, thus leaving the men financially ruined. Male victims of a female Sociopath not only have to grasp what they just went through, and accept the hard blow to the ego, but they may also have to fight the ex in the court system for custody, and/or shared custody. And this usually is a very tough battle, as Female Sociopaths have many labels they can hide behind. {ie: these false labels can be physical abuse, financial destitution etc.} And society as a general rule of thumb grants custody to the female parent in most cases. Once again, when dealing with a Sociopath, the same amount of emotional and mental devastation, financial loss, friendships destroyed etc. are not gender specific. Female Sociopaths are just as viscous and vindictive as the male Sociopath. They can make you feel inadequate, violated, and a need to control each and every situation.

Here are a couple of traits of female sociopaths. I believe Narcissistic Sociopath is not gender related, these people just have different names and faces.

  • no real values
  • secret lives: hiding money, friends, affairs
  • slow to forgive: holds onto resentement
  • high blaming behaviour: projects faults onto other’s {even her children}
  • repeatedly fails to honor financial obligations
  • constantly seeking admiration
  • she breaks her man’s spirits to keep them dependent: she has a viscous way of cutting you down
  • undermines your ability to make choices
  • she has to be right~she has to win: whatever the situation may be. You will find yourself just ‘giving in’ to keep the peace
  • lacks ability to see how she comes across to others: be it verbally, or her actions
  • she announces, not discusses ~she tells, not asks
  • she does not listen because she does not really care: your opinions and/or complaints are an annoyance.
  • she exudes very little empathy and/or sympathy
  • You feel miserable with this person as she is draining the life out of you.

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863 Responses to “Female Sociopath”

  1. Flyt

    Yes in every facet, they are sneaky and manipulate and are convincing liers. They cheat, flirt, yet blame you for the things they are doing behind your back. They are inteligent and calculated and scary. They are destroyer of one’s life

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. Kevin Jasik

    Several months ago I ran into a woman who literally swept me off my feet. I knew this one made me alive. I was pysically, sexually, and emotionally attracted to her. We were inseperable every day. She had car problems ,i would fix them.flat tires I would go run to where she was. Mind you she 53…..me 60.
    We did several out of state trips. She always said thevright things at the right times. She was actually wanting me to get rid of my live in. We discussed marriage When she came to realization it waS gonna take some time…. one day she just up n left. Wont answer my calls ,texts…..there was something bout her I couldnt put my finger on. Something odd. Now I have just read this article and maybe this is her issue..

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    • rob

      “there was something bout her I couldnt put my finger on. Something odd.”

      I hear you! I met my first one when I was 16. Like you said, something odd, bizarre, and bad. I did not find out what she was for over 35 years…..when I found out what my then wife was.

      Since then, i have learned that they are relatively easily to spot as their behavior is completely predictable – consider yourself lucky 🙂 Here is a great article to read to make sure you never put yourself in a position to be around another one……..

      https://tapoos.com/lifestyle/9-signs-youre-person-hard-manipulate/

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  3. Derrick

    Been living with one for 6 years, married for 2 years. Do not think that a sociopath can change. They never change. Only thing to do is get as far away as soon as possible.

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    • rob

      agree – not only distance from her but from anyone she knows – you may lose a few friends in the process but trust me —- in the long run you will be glad as they have ways of accessing you —– you could never dream of ——eliminate all access imaginable

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    • joe

      Why is it that the ‘victims’ (us), of narc/sociopaths are told to RUN?
      Why arent we told to stand our ground and make the SNPD’s leave?
      We married less than a year ago. I am in my 50’s and she in her early 60’s. We are both divorcees and have children in our previous marriages.
      I have begun to see how she tries to manipulate me for attention, she HAS to be right ALL the time, HAS to have the last word ALL the time, and I have caught her in lies lately… and she either doesnt react, or she deflects, or she makes more lies when I confront her with them… I dont think she has cheated on me but there is the distinct possibility as she travels a lot for work.
      Anyway we have married, bought a home and property, and I have invested a substantial amount of money, time and labor in renovating our home and starting the farm…
      Other than this home, farm, and property I have NOTHING material for her to take, so she is not manipulating me for money.
      Why should “I” have to be the one that leaves?!
      Why should I have to be the one that ‘runs’?
      Why should I have to be the one to start over again with home and property and belongings?!
      Although I do worry about ‘narcissistic rage’…
      I think that ‘running’ is just another aspect of being a “victim”. So is there a way to stand firm, stop being a victim, and NOT be the one doing the RUNNING?…

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      • Mike

        Hi Joe, I think when people say run away they mean don’t bother wasting time on making the relationship work. A narc/sociopath is using you for some reason; money, status, sex or some reason you can’t imagine.

        Nar/Sociopath as you would call them are very child like and often manipulate people for the entertainment, they are bored. She may being using you because she has been able to lie to you so far and you have believed her (dupers delight). She may see the work you are doing on the house and farm as a way to secure her financial future. If you know what she is feeding off of you for you can try and stop doing it. She may get bored with you and leave, but more than likely you will have to extract her from you life. This will trigger the narcissistic rage. It maybe trying to take everything from you, slander your name, even physically harm or kill you. If you choose to stand your ground, prepare for the onslaught, before you let her know you know what she is.

        Yes there is the aspect of being a victim, because you are a victim of fraud. When you come to the realization of this, you then need to do what any victim of fraud should do and protect yourself from further fraud.

        In your case you should seek counsel on how to retain your house, farm, and property. There is an emotional aspect as well. You will have to work through dealing with the fact that you loved and trusted someone enough to marry them and you were nothing more than a tool for their entertainment.

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      • Derrick

        I agree that running doesn’t necessarily have to mean actually leaving your home, but rather holding your ground and distancing her out of your life as much and swiftly as possible. Definately get an attorney to help with this. Change locks and set up surveilance. That’s actually what I’m doing. Only difference in my situation is that my soon-to-be ex wife may not actually be a sociopath, but rather she had borderline personality. However, the person with whom she’s been having an affair is clearly a complete sociopath. It’s unfortunate that my wife has irreversably fallen into the clutches of this manipulative beast who will eventually destroy her, but I’ve done far more than enough to help her, and it’s time to reverse gears and try to move past this.

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      • Ian

        I’m with you Brother. In most circumstances ‘Running’ may be the best option in terms that it provides us victims with an opportunity to reset our lives and start again, but, damn, it feels like defeat – and I for one cannot accept that. In my case I also have young kids who need nurturing and I’ll be damned if I leave that responsibility to a psychopath.

        It’s been more than 5 years, out of a 20 year marriage, since I fully recognized the creature which is my wife. In that time I’ve been searching for and testing different strategies for co-existing with her. Let me say this up front, whilst you can learn to cope, I doubt that there is any strategy that will ever again bring long term stability, peace and confidence in tomorrow, far less happiness and joy, back into your life. The only place you will find these is outside of the marriage. Look to your kids, your friends, colleagues, work, hobbies, etc. for these. Home life will be a constant battle.

        The key is an unshakable belief and trust in who you are, your own worth, your own goodness, your own ‘rightness’ in the things you’ve done, ( she gets most of her ammunition to attack you from your past) and the things you do and say now. Tell her the truth about the way you feel and why. Don’t ‘ hold back. I’ve recently told mine that she provides absolutely no benefit or added value to my life and is utterly worthless to me – which is true. She didn’t like it. These creatures seem to believe that they have an entitlement to take control of and arbitrarily use somebody else’s life and we should be happy with the wreckage they induce. It’s actually been quite instructive to listen to the things she’s used to justify her worth as a wife / person. I’ve no doubt that she will say, as mine did, something like “if that’s the way you feel then leave”. Make it clear that dissolution would also be your preferred option but YOU are not the one that is leaving. If anybody should leave it should be her. She wont. Why would she?

        It takes tremendous self discipline but as much as you can try to remove the fuel that supports her twisted pleasures, i.e. your reactions. Try to ignore the nasty things she says and does, her aggression, the lies, the gs-lighting. Recognize the words and actions for what they are and what effect they are intended to produce – count to 10 or imaging a quiet beach somewhere and revel in the “whooshing” sound her barbs make as you let them fly past your heart. I used to keep a track of how many “whooshes” i had heard that day. Doesn’t solve the problem but it made me feel better. Every one is a small victory.

        It’s been said before but definitely worth repeating – take notes; at some point in the day find the time record every instance of her bad behavior, ‘gas-lighting’,etc. Use your phone camera, voice recorder whenever possible, make sure she knows your doing it and are able, willing and prepared to share it publicly., i.e. with her friends and family. My experience has been that these creatures are like roaches and are terrified of the light of truth. The act of recording doesn’t stop them saying and doing the things they say and do – they can’t stop, but it does help to mitigate the escalation. Make sure you keep your records safe. She will try to find and destroy them.

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      • rob

        I am i my 50’s as well and have studied this subject over and over and read pretty much every bit of literature ever written about it. Even wrote a book about my experience…..I have also read in numerous articles that some believe the problem lessens with age……but knowing what they are and what they are capable of………my ass would still run…….but that is just me.

        I could go on and on…

        Having just climbed out of a $75,000.00 IRS debt I had no idea she had managed to create during our 7 year marriage (eventually tried to blame it on me too of course cause that is what they do) having discovered that she was trying to get me arrested for some unimaginable crimes (she hacked my computer and put some pretty scary stuff on there) and having gained an enormous amount of understanding of how their brains work and just what they are capable of doing to you…..if I ever run into one again……..I will not only give up my property, investments and anything else on Gods green earth to get rid of her and run like the biggest coward sissy the world has ever seen……..but I will go and fill up the gas tank in my car, give her they keys to my car, throw in and an extra grand or two for good measure on the passenger seat……..oh yeah……..and then……..as she cranks the car to leave………..I will strap on my best pair of running shoes, tape my ankles, turn and run in the opposite direction just as fast as I can with the biggest shit eating grin you have ever seen 🙂

        but again thats just me

        I mean I do get it that in theory one should not have to run….but that is when dealing with………….normal people……you have to understand that you are not dealing with anything remotely normal.

        oh well, Ian seems to think it is possible so if you plan on sticking around he can probably provide as good of advice as any on staying around –

        I do wish you the best whatever you decide to do. Stay and not run? Hard decisions for you. I have been there buddy and feel for you. I wish you peace in whatever you decide:)

        Rob

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      • Ian

        Hi Rob,
        If I had found myself in the same circumstances as you, involved with a similar creature as you I would probably have done exactly the same as you. The point I’ve been trying to make, however ineptly, is that as with ‘normal’ people there are degrees or grades to a ‘psycho’s’ evil behavior. I don’t believe that these creatures exist either side of a hard line where on one side people are capable of normal human behavior and on the other they are total evil.The ‘trick’ is figuring out exactly where does your ‘IT’ fit within the spectrum. Similarly their victims will have the same range of capabilities exhibited in the normal population. Some will be more capable than others of withstanding and dealing with their shenanigans. I’ve always been very cautious about ‘one size fits all’ solutions. Each case is unique and requires a unique solution. In my case, whilst I wish I’d never met the woman and undoubtedly my life would be much better had I not, I believe that I can and have found ways to the impact of her behavior on my own and on the kids lives. Joe sounds like he’s in the same boat. His life will never again be happy – but he can at least cope

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  4. Leon Kitagawa

    I’m there right now and as a male anger management is the biggest lie

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  5. Don

    I’ve read numerous websites and articles on narcissit and sociopaths, most of which are about men. This was by far the best I’ve read and about women with this disorder. I’ve never been so completely blown away by an article such as this one was, that it was so spot on to my current toxic relationship. Thank you for such a great read.

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  6. John

    Step 1: Never give them money if they have no visible way to repay. Step 2: run.

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  7. corey crosby

    It’s been almost 2 years since I have seen my IT.. Things have gone good for me and I am focused on my goals more than anything now. I gave up the dating! I do have a question, I do have dreams of my ex trying to get me back. Then she tells me I have to leave so she can go back to her guy named Rob. I keep having this dream a lot. Not to mention the verbal abuse and the lies. Does this dream mean she is coming back to destroy me again?She lives in Crowley and Burleson Texas. I stay away from that area! Every time I pass through that part of DFW area it brings back memories. So that’s why I never go to that part of town. I just feel like I have some form of PTSD. But not sure yet…

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    • rob

      not really that good on dream interpretation, very good on intuition when it comes to “its”.

      your heart has and will lead you correctly! stay focused on you and your goals and becoming the best person you can possibly be. In time the ptsd, anxiety, and hypervigilence will pass.

      read self improvement books – work on becoming the kind of man that would never allow any person or thing to ever hurt you in such a way……

      when you learn to love yourself the way you need to – these type of people will have no place in your mind or your life as you will come to know you are just too damn good for the bull shit!!

      peace

      rob

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      • corey crosby

        Thank you Rob!! I feel like I do good at times! But the fear of running into her and her trying to come back scares me! But I will take you’re advice and get self help books!!

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      • Tela

        Yes, read the self help books Rob has suggested, but also, you know the Ex’s pattern’s, routine etc. Therefore, YOU can make sure not to run into by avoiding places you know she will be at certain times. You can do this; it just takes a LONG time.

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      • corey crosby

        Thank you Rob and Tela! I am 40 years old and I have had a lot of girlfriends in my past. But I never opened my heart to any of them. But to my ex I did and the worst Part she knows that she is the first girl that I gave my heart and soul to! She was smiling when she asked that, it freaked me out. Like there was something on her mind. That’s why I get the feeling she will be back. She is a Narcissist and a Sociopath all in one..

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      • rob

        corey wayne had some good stuff on purpose an becoming the best man you can be. a lot of his stuff is more prepping you to be attractive to women so keep that in mind…….but still good stuff on getting your shit together —– love wayne dyers stuff too as well as mastery by robert green, power of positive thinking by peale, also i read a lot of books about great men – boys in the boat is an incredible story about a guy who overcame ten times more than any of us ever will – great inspirational story – love that kind of stuff – tons out there 🙂 —- read all you can and then read no more mr nice guy, and the way of men by jack donovan – good luck buddy 🙂

        Rob

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    • rob

      been where you are and all of the help i received from others paved the way for my healing……..and continued healing…….it takes years to get over the pain they inflict. I read somewhere that for every year you spend in a relationship with them it takes a half a year to get back to some semblance of normal. I was in a relationship with my ex it for 8 years and have been removed from her for almost four years.

      Its a process I will always have to work through but there is joy on this side of things….in many ways a much deeper joy…….just takes time buddy and most importantly – NO CONTACT!!!

      no contact is the only way you can ever heal from them

      Rob

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  8. Brent

    This kind of breaks my heart. The list at the end? My estranged wife is every single one of those.

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  9. Frankie

    This is incredible. Describes a situation I was in with a female co worker. Everything was my fault and cut me out of her life with no type of empathic evaluation. Good thing I slept with her older sister on Valentine’s Day😂😂😂😂

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  10. Justin

    Holy Shit! This is my ex wife to a tee. Finally found out what the hell she is. Just called it the female devil syndrome.Thankyou. It gives me relief at least mowing what’s dealing with. My son is the one I’m worried about. Love him so much and that’s how his mama is. It breaks my heart seeing what she puts him through. I’m a strong minded man and a loving father. I will teach him how to be strong.

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    • rob

      I consider that day back in January 2014 as one of my best days ever! The day i discovered what she was 🙂 Over the last 3 years I have studied the issue and researched the problem thoroughly. Ultimately I divorced her and my life has improved dramatically because of it.

      However, without that firm knowledge of what she was, I may have not ever left her? I believe that a huge step in the healing process is knowledge of the reality. The reality that you have been living with something less than human.

      Make wise decisions where your kids are concerned and document everything – you have no idea whatsoever what this type of woman is capable of doing……………but i will tell you………….it’s anything and everything you can imagine and worse

      rob

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