A sociopath will use calculated seduction. They are over the top with the compliments, gifts, and making sure your mind is always on them. We don’t see this as calculated seduction, we see this as someone who we can ‘connect’ with. Someone who wants to share their life with us. Don’t be fooled! This is their strategy.
They will shower you with compliments. Listen intently to everything you have to say. They ask calculated questions (to be used later in the devalue & discard stage). If you have dated in the past and you tell your socio about those relationships, he/she will act so interested, want to console you, or say just the right things to lead you to believe he/she is the ‘one’. The entire time spent with my socio early on, i was swept up into his whirlwind! I couldn’t believe I had found the most
awful perfect man!
He was so romantic, took time to pay attention to details. I had mentioned during one of the multiple early on conversations that I love to go on picnics. Our second date, he had a picnic planned, with my favourite wine, cheeses, etc. The day was beautiful weather, he spread a blanket out, set out a bouquet of flowers and just told me to lay down and relax. He knows how stressful my career is and wanted to take care of everything. During the picnic, more questions about my past were asked (again, I’m thinking this guy is truly one of a kind), he seemed so interested in everything about me. I asked questions about his past, and looking back, he was always vague, in the beginning, and then would take the focus off him by kissing me, or hugging me, constantly wanting to ‘touch’. More and more compliments! More and more
questions building my profile. At this point i felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I mean, there is nothing this man wouldn’t have done for me. Little did I know all of this should have been a huge red flag!!
By our 3rd date, I felt the relationship was moving way to fast. He was already telling me he loved me. He told his friends and family how in love he is, and I am the perfect woman he has been searching for. He told my friends (embarrassingly) how in love he was with me. He even started using some of my phrases (mirroring) me. He started talking about relocating (we live 500 miles apart). His career allows him to live anywhere in the State, so he was telling me how wonderful it will be if we could be together every single day and night. For whatever reason, I kept putting this off. Even though, I’m thinking this is the most perfect man i have ever met! Little did I know this man was a cleaver, manipulating sociopath. Like the saying goes ‘it its to good to be true……..it probably is’. Even though he told constantly showered me with attention, multiple
obsessive amounts of text during the day. Emails full of love and wanting and needing. In this seduction stage he was fully attentive, caring and charming. But remember, this is stage 1 of dating a sociopath. The seduction stage is when we loose our sense of who we are! We believe the sociopath. At this stage, everything and everyone who was important in our life, is being set-up by the sociopath to be used as ammunition later. We do not see this, we believe his words, we believe this is our soul mate! If any of the following is happening to you~be aware! You are probably being sucked into the Sociopath Life.
With all of this, I was convinced we were perfect together! And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer………..
sociopath seduction mirroring breast cancer