A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Seduction Stage 1

Seduction

A sociopath will use calculated seduction. They are over the top with the compliments, gifts, and making sure your mind is always on them. We don’t see this as calculated seduction, we see this as someone who we can ‘connect’ with. Someone who wants to share their life with us. Don’t be fooled! This is their strategy.

They will shower you with compliments. Listen intently to everything you have to say. They ask calculated questions (to be used later in the devalue & discard stage). If you have dated in the past and you tell your socio about those relationships, he/she will act so interested, want to console you, or say just the right things to lead you to believe he/she is the ‘one’. The entire time spent with my socio early on, i was swept up into his whirlwind! I couldn’t believe I had found the most awful  perfect man!

He was so romantic, took time to pay attention to details. I had mentioned during one of the multiple early on conversations that I love to go on picnics. Our second date, he had a picnic planned, with my favourite wine, cheeses, etc. The day was beautiful weather, he spread a blanket out, set out a bouquet of flowers and just told me to lay down and relax. He knows how stressful my career is and wanted to take care of everything. During the picnic, more questions about my past were asked (again, I’m thinking this guy is truly one of a kind), he seemed so interested in everything about me. I asked questions about his past, and looking back, he was always vague, in the beginning, and then would take the focus off him by kissing me, or hugging me, constantly wanting to ‘touch’. More and more compliments! More and more questions building my profile. At this point i felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I mean, there is nothing this man wouldn’t have done for me. Little did I know all of this should have been a huge red flag!!

By our 3rd date, I felt the relationship was moving way to fast. He was already telling me he loved me. He told his friends and family how in love he is, and I am the perfect woman he has been searching for. He told my friends (embarrassingly) how in love he was with me. He even started using some of my phrases (mirroring) me.  He started talking about relocating (we live 500 miles apart). His career allows him to live anywhere in the State, so he was telling me how wonderful it will be if we could be together every single day and night. For whatever reason, I kept putting this off. Even though, I’m thinking this is the most perfect man i have ever met! Little did I know this man was a cleaver, manipulating sociopath. Like the saying goes ‘it its to good to be true……..it probably is’. Even though he told constantly showered me with attention, multiple obsessive amounts  of text during the day. Emails full of love and wanting and needing. In this seduction stage he was fully attentive, caring and charming. But remember, this is stage 1 of dating a sociopath. The seduction stage is when we loose our sense of who we are! We believe the sociopath. At this stage, everything and everyone who was important in our life, is being set-up by the sociopath to be used as ammunition later. We do not see this, we believe his words, we believe this is our soul mate! If any of the following is happening to you~be aware! You are probably being sucked into the Sociopath Life. 

  1. *Being the Perfect Man
  2. *Bombarding you with his time and attention
  3. *Lavish and unexpected gifts
  4. *Never ending compliments
  5. *Creating a false persona/Empty Promises
  6. *He never appears to be a jerk or have a negative side
  7. *He is ready to do anything to make you happy, or see you smile

With all of this, I was convinced we were perfect together! And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer………..

sociopath seduction mirroring breast cancer

10 Responses to “Seduction Stage 1”

  1. jay

    its as if you just read me thestory of my last 8 months. she did the gifts, paying, for everything, cooking, massages, i love yous, the promises, the lot and all over the top!!! after literally 4 months to the day all the good things were replaced with dishonesty, lies, deceitfulness, cheating, abuse, manipulation, mirroring, mimicking etc etc etc long story short…. now I find myself facing false charges of assault & battery, false restrictions stay away order, two false drug possession charges, and a police investigation on me for being a drug dealer! all from slander, lies , character assassination and absolute bullshit stories. 8 months ago I was a tax paying, mortgage holder and business owner. now I’m potentially a violent drug dealer and prison inmate. oh and she is HIV+ from intravenous drug use and/or sex work and didn’t mention it ever in 8 months! my test results came back clear so far but wont know for 6 months for certain. i was blissfully unaware that such despicably evil women existed . the devil is alive and well that’s for sure, she is living in the suburbs of Sydney Australia….

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    • Tela

      Thank you Jay for your comment and sharing. Looking back, is it not amazing how quickly she drew you in with her words/actions and your thinking ‘wow, this is the perfect woman for me’?! Like a light switch, basically overnight her thin veneer mask of Sociopath fell off and then started your life of hell with her. Why did she do that? What was her gain by accusing you of all those false allegations? She did it {as I’m sure she has done countless men before you} to keep herself in her delusional state of mind that she is Superior to you and everyone else. That you deserved all the false charges, you deserved the character assignation, you simply deserved to be treated like shit because you are EVERYTHING she is not.
      I know that is hard to comprehend, very hard. The part of her being HIV positive is just sickening! There is a law in the states about that, I’m not sure if you have a similar law in Australia about a person being HIV+ and not letting the other person know. That is a crime here.
      Please reach out anytime and I wish you peace and healing going forward! ❤

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  2. Adam

    Let me tell you this, this site is my refuge from my past this a sociopath woman. Every chapter I read in here, matches what I have experienced. I wish, I have known about this site while I was dating that sociopath woman. Let’s talk about seduction stage, oh boy. When a woman buys you expensive gift, cloths, shoes and pays for everything, you HAVE to stop and ask the question: WHY? I was swept away by all of this and her story was: I am in love with you, I have never loved before and you are my first real LOVE ever. There were even bigger (ofc turn out to be empty) promises of a Range Rover SUV (100 K+) , a 6 months long trip to Europe, all paid by her. I was in heaven and was thinking WOW, this is love life. Little I knew that she was setting me up to use me to do her dirty money scam, to use my account to transfer huge amount of $(God know from whom and from where). I am so lucky to stop that. I am sure she would have blamed me for that as well, if anything would have gone wrong. Do not be fooled by seduction, NEVER!

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    • Tela

      Adam, your Female Sociopath sounds exactly what Greg {I refuse to use my ex} as I want no association to him, did. All the gifts, the flowers, the “I love you” within 3 weeks~ ugggggg, red flags waving all around.

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    • Tela

      Yes, very typical Sociopath~ move the relationship along very quickly so that we are not aware of how truly screwed up they are. Read THIS

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  3. 18mitzvot

    Reading this post from where we are now, which is having been burned but now awake, I would say that guy was undetectable. He planned a perfect date for you (a picnic), with all your favorite things (he listened). He couldn’t stop touching you (more attention). He addressed the realities of living 500 miles apart as if he were rational. In my opinion, NO-ONE would have seen this man as a hidden predator. He was skilled.

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    • Tela

      Thank you Rivka for your comment. Coming from you, you could ‘see’ from the outside what was happening that I couldn’t. EVEN THOUGH, I told myself on multiple occasions ‘something is just not quite right’…{hence education/career}. And like you said about him being ‘rational’. Yes, on many occasions, therefore I had difficulty putting his puzzle together. Only after 4 months then did the true character/personality come out. And what ensued was 13 months of pure living hell to put it mildly. Thank you for taking the time to read this! “hugs~

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