A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Peeping Tom

This post is from an email I received by a long time reader of my website. After his email, I am going to address some of the thought’s, and issue’s he raises.

The proverbial ‘curiosity killed the cat’ comes to mind. No, am not too sure what that means…is it literally a curious cat, to gregarious who was to curious? Or something along those lines? So here we are, rid of the emotional vampire. They moved on, while we…..slowly heal, lick our wounds, go with our gut, listen to advice, albeit sound advice. Go No Contact. They never loved you, you were used, they are fuck-up’s, nasty predators etc…all this we know, accept, slowly and eventually close that chapter in our life.

But, the big BUT comes in to play. We are curious, very curious. The old ‘what if’s’, perhaps all predictions indicated x,y,z…but I need to know. So we peak, we go covert, becoming a Peeping Tom, just to know…is it closure we seek? Absolutely. The final nail of confirmation in the coffin….YES.

So now the questions become, why do we do this? It is sick, crazy, borderline stalking, wanting to know they made the next victim suffer like you did. Is his healthy? No. Is it valid? Yes. We need to know that is was not us. So we are back to the final word called closure. The ex-Sociopath, Psychopath, in sum, basically an asshole in simple terms, would never give us that. Why? Because they are not normal. So we peek…just a bit. We are dying to know what is really happening in their new world, yet indifferent since we have moved on with our life. But no matter how we have moved on, we are always curious. 

So how do we get this closure? How do we stop these moments of….hmmmm I wonder moments. And is the new target (yes target, because that was what we were, the one before, and the one before too) and now the current one.

Getting the closure you need amounts to many levels. Validation that you are and were not the crazy one. Accountability from the Sociopath for their behaviour. You can do all the begging’s and pleading’s to get accountability from them, but it will never happen. Affirmation that everything you have read, all the traits scream SOCIOPATH. Healing, takes a very, very long time. And to think you will be the person you were prior to the Sociopath is not conducive to your healing. You will never be ‘that person’ again. You have wounds/scars/mental & emotional pain that no one understands unless they have first person experience with a Sociopath.

Professionally and personally, I do not recommend being a ‘Peeping Tom’. Simply because that keeps those wound’s that are trying to heal, still open. Yes the curiosity is a natural human response to someone they loved so very much. You cannot ‘save’ the Sociopath, or the new victims {targets}, you can only save yourself at this point.

When this man first reached out to me, and we spoke, I even asked myself “why”. Such a kind, gentle soul. But the answer is always the same..one word: Sociopath. You can read his story HERE

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