When we are involved with a Sociopath, be it boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse or child of, we swallow their Poison on an hourly & daily basis. You cannot understand why you don’t have the relationship you did……
In the beginning the Sociopath is the most perfect person you have ever met! No one before them has come close to the Charm & seduction. You have never had a ‘honeymoon phase’ like this before ~ swallow 1/8 teaspoon of Poison. Life is grand, you are amazed how well you click. Your over the moon happy falling in love with the Sociopath ~ swallow 14/ teaspoon of Poison. Days, weeks & months go by, & you notice changes but you choose to ignore them since you are being told ‘you’ need to change this or that, ‘you’ are not listening, ~ swallow a 1/2 teaspoon of Poison.
You wake up one day to a person you don’t even know who they are anymore. The dynamics of the relationship have changed ~ swallow 1/4 cup of Poison. It’s as though their whole personality has been changing. You are now questioning yourself, is what the Narcissistic Sociopath saying about you true? Why are they physically abusing me? ~ swallow 1/2 cup of Poison. You say to yourself ‘tomorrow will be a better day’, tomorrow comes and it is even worse. Now you are encountering verbal & emotional abuse. ~swallow a cup full of Poison. You keep asking them ‘what is happening, why are you treating me and/or the children this way, what is going on, why do you keep disappearing? And they open their mouths with nothing but LIES. ~swallow a 1/2 bowl of Poison.
You can’t take anymore, so you start looking into deeper what is happening, why the changes. You come across they have been CHEATING~ swallow the whole bowl of Poison. Yes, they are cheating & probably had been during the entire relationships. Sociopaths stay bored their entire lives, so after the Honeymoon phase with you wears off, they start another relationship behind your back. And trust me, the new person(s) are getting that 1/8 teaspoon of Poison just like you swallowed in the beginning. There is no amount of begging, pleading, you can do to make them stop. When you question them as to ‘why’…. their
lies answers will never make sense. And they also feel you simply don’t need to know it’s none of your business. You are now being DEVALUED. ~ swallow more Poison.
So after you have been given your 5 course meals of Poison day in and day out, you know you need to get away. If you have, you know how difficult the No Contact is. I have said it multiple times, the No Contact is the ONLY was to stop swallowing their Poison and start cleaning up your Tsunami shattered life, broken heart, fucked up head of emotions. If you continue to believe that the Sociopath is going to magically wake up one day & be their ‘old self’ you are seriously deluding yourself. They cannot & will not change. Period. And as long as you keep hoping & praying they will change & come back to you is also deluding yourself. They carry their bottle of Poison around looking for their next victim to swallow it. The ONLY person who can fix what has happened to you, is YOU. Spit the Poison out, & if you have to have contact with the Sociopath stop opening your mouth & swallowing anymore Poison. Just like the obsessive thoughts you have about them, you are allowing them to continue to Poison your mind and only YOU can stop that.
“There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.” sidonie gabrielle