A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Pathological Lying

“It takes two to speak the truth…one to speak, and another to hear”

Reformed Liar

 

Not all pathological liars are sociopaths, but all Sociopaths are pathological liars. The difference between the two is one knows what he/she is doing, and the other just does not care. The sociopath lies are calculated and manipulative, and in the end someone always get’s hurts. But you can be assured, it will not be the sociopath.

Because a sociopath and/or narcissistic sociopath has no guilt or shame, they will say and do just about anything to obtain ‘sympathy’ or ‘pity’, material objects, even custody of children or whatever they are needing at the moment. And this is often done with lies, for which they cannot see the negative consequences their lies have. This is one of the most damaging aspects of dealing with a sociopath as they can make you feel like your “crazy” when in all reality it is them. Reputations and social standings are ruined because of these lies. Family ties and friendships are severed because of the pathological cruel lies by the sociopath.

When you catch a sociopath in a lie, and confront them, tell them ‘no, that’s not what you said’, or ‘no, that’s not what you did’ etc; they will then turn that into an accusation and make us believe we are the liar :-x. Or they will get very angry and defensive and become the ‘victim’ instead of the abuser. Which is so frustrating, as trying to reason with a compulsive pathological lying sociopath is like dealing with the devil 👿 you are not going to win. They have an incredible ability to not only lie, straight faced, and convincingly, but when caught, they can then cover that lie up with another lie. Sociopaths use multi-layer’s of lie’s. So it’s a viscous circle, that grows bigger and bigger. No matter how hard you try and reason with a sociopath even if you have proof of their lie….they will somehow manipulate the truth into just a bigger and deeper lie. This is what feeds them, they have such a low level of self-esteem, and are constantly portraying someone they are not.  A sociopath is so adept at compulsive pathological lying that sometimes they are not even aware of what’s the truth or fiction. A Freudian Slip to a narcissist sociopath is the truth.

They lack remorse, and in the rare cases they act remorseful, it’s only to gain something else. If you think you can ‘reason’ with, or, change a sociopath, you are fooling yourself. This behaviour, this lack of conscience, is who they are! No amount of tears you cry, or ‘pity’ you feel for them, has bearing. And to spend hours upon hours of trying to figure them out~will only cause more pain. Those of you who have been, and/or are, involved with a sociopath, know the depth of scars their lie’s have caused. It can make you question your own ‘worthiness‘ to them. But at the end of the day you are only ‘worthy’ of what they are needing for their own gain. Even though you can think about the beginning….the seduction, all of the charm, the ‘mimicking’, all of the ‘promises’ that were made. No where can you remember the compulsive pathological lying.  And you may wonder…..where did you miss all the red flags? Why didn’t you see the lie’s? Because the sociopath made sure to progress the relationship quickly in the beginning, and most all of  the attention was on you, they deflected your questions and kept focus on your wants, needs, desires etc. All the while feeding you lie, after lie after lie. Even though you have positive proof of their lies, you heart is not wanting to believe this is not the person you fell in love with. Sadly, this is in fact the very person.

©sociopathlife.com

119 Responses to “Pathological Lying”

  1. Mark

    RE: they cannot see the negative consequences their lies have.

    I dont agree with that. I believe they understand the consequences. They just dont care. …They may even enjoy it .

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  2. Beth

    I was married for 26 years to a psychopath. Cheated on me repeatedly. And he never cared I found out. Pushed me into swinging but actually only wanted other women ways got mad if a guy paid attention to me. Finally one day I took his car and found a bag of sex toys in the trunk. That was the last straw!!! Now he’s moved himself to Florida posting pics of him and his girlfriend all over social media and our divorce is not even final yet. He has destroyed me and three adults kids lives…He even has 4 grandchildren he has never met and doesn’t even care about. Family has never been first in his life.

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  3. Acr

    A pathological liar is a mental illness and as time goes on they get worse. When I found out my husband was a narcissistic , sociopath, he turned into this evil vile creature. His face became distorted , his eyes were just black hollow holes . In 30 years my husband never raised his voice to me. The names he called me then telling me how much he hated me & wishes I were dead. I’ve never felt so alone and betrayed in my life,I was in absolute shock. He cannot tell the truth about anything. For 2 years I felt I had a knife in my chest& one day it went away. If their nice to u , they want something, they cannot be trusted. My husband finally left and for the 1st time in ages I can actually move my neck…it’s over and I’m on to greener pastures.

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  4. Reka Maximovitch

    Mom’s focus on the caretaker as a life long privilege to be allowed to maintain whatever they want. Mom’s are very powerless other than their caretaker role in which they use it for personal gain indefinitely. Mom’s need to be made to maintain legal standards that separate them from their children at age 18 or earlier

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  5. Scott

    I met a guy who lived in our neighborhood. He was the local loveable weirdo. He wore a lab coat and introduced himself as a doctor. He gave out medical advice to everyone. He even handed out medication. He lived on community for years. He brought his family to visit. No one was the wiser. Turns out he was a high school graduate. He didn’t have a wife that was killed by a drunk driver.

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  6. Donna

    I left my husband after 20 years of marriage due to him always arguing and fighting. I met Scott who I later found out was a sociopath. God, I wish I knew the signs ahead of time! Classic example. He would text, call, talk on the phone all the time. We had a very strong attraction to each other and I felt in love as we were both going through a divorce. He started to be too busy to see me after about 5 months and I saw the mask slip a few times.

    I met a wealthy man Carl. I told Scott goodbye, if you have no time for me. I dated Carl for 5 months too! Discovered he was cheating on me while traveling for work. Whirlwind romance- always checking to see if I loved him.

    Scott called me when I left Carl (who gave me a beautiful ring) and said he wanted to marry me when my divorce was final. I went back to Scott for another 5 months. Again, he started to push me away. I was so stupid. I thought he was afraid because he loved me sooo much. I said one thing politely about his teenage sons behavior and he just stopped calling me for 3 weeks! We had talked/texted 10 times a day! We were so close! Or so I thought! Then nothing.

    I was so hurt, I took my husband back. When scott saw my husbands car in driveway, he called me begging to get back. I said it’s too late! It’s all or nothing- you dumped me! I made a major life decision based on you just disappearing like that. He begged me to see him. I did for about 6 weeks, (third time)!!! He became too busy and canceled 2 date nights in a row (sat home- I know he was home100%) was again too busy to see me 2 weekends in a row. I dumped him again. Got back a fourth time 6 months later. This time for 3 weeks. I watched him lie to me! He sat at a bar drink by himself and lied he was shopping. Didn’t want to see me. Texted me from the bar. “Joes the bartender. You’re the only one I love”
    There’s the lying- they say the exact opposite.

    Odd! Huh! Drove to the bar and go figure the bartender joe was there and so was a female who was built like me – blonde, shapely. I guess he wanted to hit on her. I dumped him. Fourth and final. Still hurts. 2 sociopaths.

    I’m lucky to be alive. I never worried about my looks so much in my life as with these two. I felt at any minute either relationship could end- always felt afraid and insecure. Had this sense of distrust, saw emotionless faces at times, Scott liked sex in risky public places, both always texted -talked a lot but always had minimal time to see me. Like limiting the time. I figured it out – out looking for new targets. Duh! I’ve spent hundred hours researching sociopaths – now I know.

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    • Reema Makdessi

      Donna, would you mind reaching out to me? I recently went through this. And I’m finally done with him. you could help me find closure. I would appreciate it.

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  7. Debbie

    I know this person omg…this explains the craziness iv been dealing with…how does one cure this person…because it’s so bad even if they speak the truth no one believes a word they say…I’m lost here as this person needs to get,a grip…

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    • LG

      My 1/2 sister is a sociopath and a non-stop pathological liar. She is also in her 40s. She thinks of nothing but herself and how she can lie to anyone, about anyone or anything, to get what she wants next. She truly possesses no conscience and the level of hurt and pain she has caused in our family and among people in general is abysmal. Sociopaths are very real and very dangerous people. Just know that there are others out there that have experienced what you have.

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  8. Bex

    My ex is a classic sociopath lies,cheating, disappearing act, trashing my name etc he has now moved on to another victim but he is making out all the problems (his cheating) was down to me. Is there anyone who has been in a relationship with a sociopath who has blamed everything on their ex and then repeated history with lying, cheating etc

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    • Tela

      Bex, please read my other articles, especially smear campaign. YES- they ALL blame someone, and history constantly repeats itself

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    • Jen

      Bex – yes yes yes.
      I lived it exactly as you did.
      And they are so good at it….so good…that there are even moments today when I doubt myself (I could be looking at a piece of paper that says 10 and he convincingly makes the point that it reads “20” and I start to think that maybe he’s right….?) Then I take the paper (figuratively although truly not that far off) to my friend or mom and they will say “um, yeah it’s 10 – but you knew that”)

      It’s scary how much damage they do. I unfortunately have to co-parent little ones with him and the stories I could tell…honestly many are right out of a horror movie. Like, lies that if believed, would seriously hurt his children….he doesn’t care. They don’t care.

      I often DO feel like I’m living in a horror movie as I see this person standing in front of me who appears one way (to everyone, and even me) and yet I know the devil underneath. It’s freaky.

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      • Bree

        Dear Jen,

        i am so sorry you feel like you are living in a horror movie. What a nightmare. Don’t let blame him blame you for anything. I know you have child with this man so it might be hard to cut off contact with him, but if you can try to limit it as much as possible.

        Liked by 1 person

      • steve

        RECORD!!!
        Record as much as you can via your mobile and buy things to record sound for 2-8 hours, maybe allso give your kid ( at least phone your kid (record automatic) talk about something that is verifiable -and then ask him about it when he is leaving kid.
        Gather as much evidence you can, but don brake your back for more then 1-2 years.
        If you are unsure use private investigator but tred careful these people has a
        sixth sence for being watched.
        At least record all your conversation with this person.

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    • Vicki

      They do leave a path of destruction. My current boyfriend moved very quickly when we met, professing I was the only one for him . He showered me with attention, moved me in with him , insisted I was the one person who kept him grounded. At this time he was going through a divorce and said that she didn’t want to let him go so it was taking longer than expected.
      Then 2 months after he moved me in he started having an affair with someone he dated 1 1/2 years ago. Said the stress of the divorce and his job were crushing him and he was having a hard time handling it. I sensed something was wrong before I got him to admit the affair , but I guess j didn’t want to believe it so I ignored it. He had started being more distant, snapping at me, we weren’t having sex as often.
      I asked if the other woman knew he had a girlfriend and he said no. He said she had kids and they were attached to him, and that he was serious about this person before and would have married her but got scared. mever once did he apologize to me. He started crying and said he loved me but I knew him and knew the crying was just because he got caught was part of his act. I know he’s not remorseful he just seems so unfeeling at times . He acts like he just wants to run away and live a whole different life . It’s a pattern with him one woman to another

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    • Sherry75

      Yes, I have two kids with a sociopath. He’s been married twice since our marriage. He convinces each new person I’m the crazy one…they later figure it out. It usually takes a year or two. He’s fooled counselors and all kinds for awhile. Our kids eventually saw through him, but still like to see him some. The younger years were tough and I had to be vigilant. What your ex is doing is called a smear campaign. You know how he works and can expose him, so he destroys your reputation rendering you unbelievable. The more you try to warn someone, the more he’ll use that to insist you’re obsessed with him, etc. give him zero contact and zero reactions. Business on,y about kids, short and sweet. Everything is a game, no confronting, no getting them to admit this or that…this I’ve learned 10 years divorced from a sociopath. Good luck to you!

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    • Lambily4Ever

      I’ve been through it all with my ex–lying, cheating, stonewalling, slander, etc. Like a love-struck naive person I kept giving her chances to prove herself to me, constantly giving much more than she deserved, only to end up regretting it every single time she proved that I was nothing more than a source of supply (money.) To make matters worse, I found out that she lied about falling on hard times (e.g. having to walk 10+ miles home to/from work, not having food to eat) to convince to me give her money that she actually spent on the WOMEN she dated behind my back. And after she discarded me after I found out that she was cheating on me again with her coworker, I realized that she spent money that she conned men out of on me (She even pretended to be into men to use them for their money). Money I thought she earned by doing odd jobs.

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    • lambily4ever

      It took nine long years to realize that my first love is a sociopath, and the pain that she caused me is indescribable. The fact that she doesn’t care hurts even more.

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    • lambily4ever

      I’ve been through it all with my ex–lying, cheating, stonewalling, slander, etc. Like a love-struck naive person I kept giving her chances to prove herself to me, constantly giving much more than she deserved, only to end up regretting it every single time she proved that I was nothing more than a source of supply (money.) To make matters worse, I found out that she lied about falling on hard times (e.g. having to walk 10+ miles home to/from work, not having food to eat) to convince to me give her money that she actually spent on the WOMEN she dated behind my back. And after she discarded me after I found out that she was cheating on me again with her coworker, I realized that she spent money that she conned men out of on me (She even pretended to be into men to use them for their money). Money I thought she earned by doing odd jobs. She’s even lied about having serious medical conditions (cancer) for sympathy from those around her.

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