A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

‘I’m Sorry’…..

images

These are two words you will rarely, if ever hear the sociopath say! Why? Because they’re never wrong! And if you do hear an apology, it’s most likely they are setting you up for something else.

Sociopath’s work by agenda! They are not capable of the normal feelings of love, shame, guilt, empathy, remorse and so on. Therefore, for them to say “I’m sorry” is about as likely as you seeing a Unicorn. The sociopath’s agenda does not include having to say these two words, just like you will never see remorse/shame or guilt. Those character traits go hand in hand. If you have been with a Sociopath for any length of time, you will pick up on these horrific traits.

How many times have you said something to a friend or relative, and just by their expression you knew your words hurt them? A Sociopath picks up on the same facial expressions, however he/she is then getting what they wanted. They want to see us hurt, they want to have total control over our emotions and actions. Remember, they do not feel emotions like we do.  And if on the off chance they feel they are about to loose you, their ‘supply’, you may get a half-hearted apology. And once again, we, the victims of these people are just seeking some ‘validation’. We just want to know that when they continually hurt us, that they will at least say “I’m Sorry” and mean it! 

It is important to realize that the expression of emotions, are a form of non-verbal communication. And as we know so well, Sociopath’s are experts at verbal communication. That is how we got sucked into this spinning vortex of crazy in the first place.  The Sociopath, was the master at verbal ambushing communication. And on the few occasions when he knew I had finally had enough of his shit, he would then turn on the expression of emotions, the fake tears. He could cry on the spot and beg me to ‘forgive’ his words. Really???!!! Forgive him??!!!! Ha~I had never met anyone that asked for forgiveness instead of giving an apology! Just another horrible character trait of the Sociopath’s that walk among us!

©sociopathlife.com  ©sociopathworld.wordpress.com

19 Responses to “‘I’m Sorry’…..”

  1. Donna Harrison

    My sociopathic middle aged daughter was the same way with her apology written in a card after disowning me for 5 months when I told her to stop her degrading lies about me. I called her and asked her what she was sorry for, and it was not for lying to me. Instead, she attacked me with more false accusations and talked over me as I asked her about her being sorry of this or that lie. She lied so much she stumbled by accidently admitting to several lies, then denied she said them. I told her I loved her and wanted her to seek help, and she attacked me for saying “loved” as a past tense word. It was like she tried to force me to another universe. This sociopath was not sorry as I suspected and why I asked what she was sorry for and she could not say what. I figured she wanted to get control of me again, try to force guilt through fabrications upon me to make her feel good. I was ready for this and knowing her ASD condition, I tested her and she failed the “sorry” test. My daughter is textbook to this “I’m Sorry” article.

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you for sharing with the s Donna. It is terribly hard when a parent is estranged from their child. The hurt is insurmountable. The unknown of ‘why’; and reaching out only to be discarded is deeply painful. I’m sure you’ve done everything to try and make your daughter realize she truly is destroying herself, as well as you. ~hugs~

      Like

      Reply
      • Donna Harrison

        Thank you, Tela, you are most gracious.
        I took your hints from this website and advice about my daughter for months how to deal with her. We are talking again–barely. When she calls me or I call her to see how she is doing, I stay positive and stay away from personal emotion or complaints. I will not allow myself to be vulnerable again around her or let her be the victim of some made up abuse I never committed. I am as boring as hell, only talking about mundane things and making it short. One of the hardest things I had to do was separate my emotions from her, knowing we will never be close. If she starts up her sociopathic tendencies, I tell her talk to me when she feels better, and I hang up. I have no tolerance for that behavior, and I am learning to move on with my life. Thanks for the support, I am finding solutions.

        Like

      • Tela

        Donna, thank you for sharing what is truly heartbreaking. A mother’s love is so strong and so deep. Most will never endure what you are, as far as an ‘emotional detachment’ from your daughter. I’m glad you’re recognizing her Sociopathic traits/ manipulations/deflecting etc. take care of yourself first & foremost!

        Like

  2. Janice

    Thank you for your kind words your blog is very well writen
    I believe I’m in the final stage of letting go of me NS I have been with him for 28 yrs and with in the last yr I have seen and realized so many things that have broken my heart I’m not sure if it all makes sense yet but I know what love is and you don’t hurt the people you love to get what you want. I honestly didn’t have the best childhood but that doesn’t give anyone the ascuse to be mean or cruel, so when I read things that give reasoning’s for narcissistic behaviors it kinda feeds my anger. Anyways I’m babbling cause I’m frustrated with my life and I’m so isolated from family and friends or just a life in general. I just wanted to say thanks again for the kind words

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      Janice, what you are going through, the emotional roller coaster is normal. A ‘new normal’ for life after the Narcissist. Sad. However, as time goes on…..slowly, you will begin to see with more clarity, what you endured {and survived}. Not one single person deserves abuse in any form! Period.
      No matter what your childhood was, you are correct, it does not give a person the green light to abuse you.
      And your frustration is because of the year’s and year’s of what you gave, what was taken, and ultimately, you lost you. BUT~ you will find yourself. It takes time. a LOT of time. Reach out to those who will support you. Or consider counseling. Please do not feel you are isolated and alone. You are not. There are millions of people right where you are!

      Like

      Reply
  3. Janice

    My NS told me that I look most beautiful when I cry
    Lol no that’s cruel and sick

    Like

    Reply
  4. Skid

    My sociopath ex-girlfriend would say “Im sorry” and seem to mean it. Just like when she said “I love you” (which she said to just about everyone).
    She could also do the cry on demand bit.

    Like

    Reply
  5. 18mitzvot

    So creepy how you mention that the narcissist watches my facial expressions for hurt… and then is secretly pleased. I remember that happening.

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      It’s amazing once you have now educated yourself about the Narcissist/ Narcissistic Sociopath, how you can look back and remember conversations and the way he ‘watched you’. Yes, your expression fed him Rivka! It’s sick, it’s sad, and it’s hurtful! 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. notme2014

    When I finally had enough and left my S, He said to me…”do you remember me in the beginning?” “That was the real me”. “You just wouldn’t let me show you.” And for that I am sorry. 🙂
    So yes, I did get an “I’m Sorry”….but it was for me not allowing him to show me what a nice guy he could be….OMG! Really????
    Light and Love.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Tela

      OMG NotMe….I heard those exact same words ‘do you remember me in the begining?’ ‘that was the REAL me you just wouldn’t let me show you’….that is scary!!! I’m telling you, those exact same words were said!! WOW. Funny, that guy in the ‘beginning’…he doesn’t and didn’t even exist. 😆

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • MJ

        OMG mine said the same thing!!! Its like they are reading from a script!!!

        Like

      • Janet

        You end up feeling like you never really KNEW them at all. Their callous lack of empathy comes out at the end, and you realize that’s WHO they are. The other person you thought was them, was mostly an act to seduce you and use you. The line between reality and trickery is all blurry now. It’s a weird feeling you don’t get when a relationship with a regular person ends. Those end because they weren’t strong enough to make it, maybe you didn’t want the same things you realized after all, and would be better off to end it. But, you still felt like, you knew who they were. It’s just one of you, or both of you, decided that wasn’t who you wanted. With a narcassist or sociopath, you realize you were in a relationship with a partially fictitious person. And that there’s a very secret side to them, that not everyone knows about. And that side is not nice at all. Maybe only their very closest guy friends know.

        Like

  7. niria quiroz

    yup!!!!!!! they r master manipulators! they lie in your face they seem sooooo! sincere. they dont know how to love. they only love what you can do for them only use you. they will be anything you need them to be so you can fall into their web. they are the victims and they are so vulnerable so harmless! its all an act full of lies, deceit, manipulation, and games!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Niria for your comment. You said it perfectly. And I shook my head ‘yep’ when I read ‘they are the victims.’ Funny how they turn from abuser to victim in a blink of an eye, sad how they go about spreading lies. Disgusting how they methodically manipulate you and your feelings etc. Soulless, empty, hollow walking/talking breathing individuals who will never say “I’m Sorry” as they never take accountability.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
    • Janet

      I know when mine apologized, he did that only because he was still trying to get me to agree to something. Because as soon as I said ok I could forgive him someday maybe and not continue to hate him forever, but I still wouldnt agree to what he wanted, so then he shifted all blame back on me again,and basically took back the apology and told me I was awful and should have known better blah blah blah. So yes, the article is right about this type of person. only if ever apologizes, does so with an agenda in mind. NOT because they’re actually sorry. But at first it can fool ya and seem so sincere. I was told Im so so sorry. I hope you can one day forgive me. Yeah right!

      Like

      Reply

Your Thoughts:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: