A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Head Fuckery

This is a fairly strong titled post….and apologies upfront to anyone offended by the title. The reason this is titled Head Fuckery is that is exactly what a Narcissist Sociopath does with their blame, lies, deceit, emotional blackmail, deflection/projection, abuse and so on.

How does Head Fuckery work?

  • ask a direct question~ get lies in return
  • abuse~ mental/emotional/physical and financial
  • turning their unacceptable behaviour into you are actually the one acting inappropriate
  • denial, denial, denial~ never do they accept accountability {yet you are to be 100% accountable}
  • hypercritical~ about most everything & everyone
  • falsely accuse you of things and/or events that they actually did and/or said
  • fault blaming~ they can point out every single fault they perceive you have
  • intentionally causing pain~ and then denying they did.
  • displays of limited emotional connection to a person or place

Being involved with a Narcissistic Sociopath is like getting into a washing machine and setting it on spin cycle. You go round & round & round, never to stop. To stop the spin cycle and Head Fuckery, there is only one option: get out! 

forgive those who insult you, attack you, belittle you or take you for granted. most importantly…….forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you.

©SociopathLife.com

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18 Responses to “Head Fuckery”

  1. James

    No Tela, that last part about bipolar wasn’t directed at you. 🙂 (For some reason your post did not have a Reply link, btw.)

    Lying out of what they said… You know, when I found her out, I had just gone to visit my parents for Christmas, and she would explain things away what I had found out with wildly improbable stories, some even self-contradictory. My mother, an excellent reader of people, told me in a low tone, “Jim, I think she really believes it.” I have to wonder if, after making constructing stories into such a habit, inside their own mind, it’s just storytime too, all the time, to themselves as well. Treating life like it’s a dream you’re having and trying to influence it.

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  2. Ruby

    No, James, I didn’t try to get treatment for bi-polar. I did, however, seriously question if something was really wrong with me. That’s the insidiousness of what they do. It’s like an invisible chain they put around you, only it’s around your sense of self and sense of reality. It’s really quite evil because you know something isn’t right, but you can’t quite get what it is that’s not right because you trust them and think that it’s you.

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  3. James

    You forgot one: Make something up, and when you don’t remember it, tell you your memory is bad. After about a year of this and being isolated progressively more from outside references, I genuinely believed she had photographic memory (I was quite impressed at the details she could remember, actually…) and mine missed things often. I now know neither of these things are true.

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    • Tela

      Thank you James for your comment. And you are so correct. You will be blamed or accused of made up shit {of which they truly believe in their delusional minds}. So therefore you are on the defensive about something that was neither said or done!! 😀

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    • Ruby

      OMG! He did that to me, too. I was always amazed at how he could remember conversations verbatim. Until I realized he was just making shit up. And the bad memory thing! Yes! I really thought something was wrong with me that I couldn’t remember the things he said that I said. Or he would adamantly deny saying something he said, that I know he said, and I started to question myself. That something was wrong with my mind, that I was going crazy. He told me I was bi-polar.

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      • James

        To trick me into believing she had an incredibly memory — she would choose little details of something nobody would ever pay attention to, and then remember them to mention later. How a digital billboard would glitch at a regular interval, or the number of leaves on a particular flower, on and on. I would think, “Wow, you remembered THAT?”

        Recounting conversations… Tthat was the first clue that got me doubting, actually. I had remembered a conversation one way, she had remembered it a very different way (and used it against me in numerous arguments), and I had been talking to my brother on the phone at the time. When I mentioned it with family at Christmas, he remembered it the way I did. As did my mother who was walking with him at the time and overheard. I was shocked.

        It is amazing how much faith and trust we put in those we love. I’d always believed, if something wasn’t true, someone would *have* to eventually admit it. That reason would eventually triumph. So much that we place doubt in ourselves first, and come back to that doubt over and over again.

        I hope you didn’t try to get treatment for bipolar? An abuser can definitely game the psychiatrist. There’s cold, ice cold there.

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      • Tela

        Thank you James for your comment and sharing. A Sociopath does have an amazing library of information gathered from you to be used as manipulation/gaslighting/blame shifting etc. memory. Some people have gone so far as to record conversations with a Sociopath, played it back, and the Sociopath, in their one dimensional delusional thinking would lie their way out of what they said.
        Your last sentence about getting treatment for bioplar….I hope that was not directed at me, as I am a Psychologist, and trust me, I know all to well how a person with a ASPD/Sociopath/Psychopath can manipulate any & every one.

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      • Jewel

        My soon to be ex (sociopath I believe) is trying to insist I’m bipolar and otherwise mentally unstable too!!

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  4. Samantha

    One explanation for this is bully. Bully. I’ve had depression and made some mistakes but it was due to how I had been treated for many years and I wasn’t coping. I was called crazy for this. I’ve had help for thus now. Any decent person would accept any wrong doing. They’re simply just not decent men. Any one that has to manipulate and distort someone else’s reality is actually distorted themselves.

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