A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

The Last Word

There is nothing more self satisfying to a Sociopath than having The Last Word. Nothing screams ‘win’ more to them as long as they know you heard more delusions out of their mouths, and took the bait hook they sent your way.

It’s so easy to want to retaliate, even defend their word, deny their untrue allegations and so on. A Sociopath will throw verbal tantrums, use emotional manipulation, and use their self-centeredness in the guise of victim!! As we know, the Narcissist Sociopath is always the victim {insert sarcasm} 🙂  As long as you bite their hook baited with The Last Word, they will never,ever, ever stop. Ever! I have written about no contact  and realize there are times you truly do need contact with the Sociopath. even in the worst of situations. With that no contact, boundaries have to be in place for it to work.

How many ‘I’m sorry”, how many “please don’t do this to me”, “please talk to me I will listen”, “everyone says your making a mistake”, “I love you we can work this out”, “your making a big mistake”, “I will let the kids know what a piece of shit you are” “no one is going to want you” “your the crazy one”….and countless other Last Words do you need to hear before you once and for all realize NONE of what they say has any truth to it whatsoever. How many times do we find ourselves feeling sorry for them because they appear to finally GET IT and so we give them one more opportunity, or we believe they are going to follow court orders, only to find we are having ONE MORE last word. 

The frustration lies in you know what is the truth, you know what court orders are and follow them, you know the lies spread about you are so hurtful. You don’t live in the land of denial and delusions. You love and loved with an open heart free of conditions. So when you are dealing with an individual {or set of parent’s} and everything you know to be morally correct, ethically right, legally in place, the Sociopath has a complete opposite view, and/or no regard to those. Trying to reason with, or have common sense sink in, is futile! I know it is difficult, very difficult, to understand how another human being can be so vile, so viscous and cause so much hurt/anger/frustration in another person, and/or children. There truly is not a ‘blanket’ reason why…..every Narcissistic Sociopath operates the same, each have varying degree’s of abuse. The only difference is……the names and faces. However, they all want The Last Word 

have the maturity to know that sometimes silence is more powerful than having the last word      orebela gbenga

©SociopathLife.Com

17 Responses to “The Last Word”

  1. Done

    3 years after I cut contact with my sociopathic sister, I heard through the grapevine that she was telling people that knew me that SHE was the one that had cut ties with ME. She said she would “forgive” me if I apologized for an argument I had with my mother over the phone! She couldn’t admit to my rejection of her so she fabricated her own story of how she cut ME out of her life!! Classic! I told my mother “that is laughable that she claims SHE is the one that cut ties with me, and I have nothing to apologize for”. My sister had used this fabrication as a face-saving tactic. She would never admit defeat!! She has to “win” every time!!

    Then about 5 years later I was visiting my mom for a week – she and the rest of my family (of origin) live a state away. So unfortunately a visit to my mom usually involves some (as little as possible) contact with my sister. I act like a robot around her and say nothing to her, don’t even look her way. So about a month after this visit my brother called to let me know my sister was telling anyone who would listen that I had stuffed a watch of hers (that she had lost at my mom’s during my visit) in my mom’s legal document bag. As my sister was searching through the bag in front of several family members, including him, she pulled out her lost watch. She put on an award-winning performance to convince everyone that she had NO IDEA how her watch got in that bag! When my brother later asked her how she thinks her watch got in the bag, (after he had talked to me and I had assured him I had nothing to do with it) she told him she suspected that I had hidden it in there!! Well, my theory is that my sister snuck into my mom’s apartment (she has a key) while my mom and I were out during my visit and frantically searched for something in that bag, losing her watch in the process. The bag contained all of my mom’s legal papers, financial info, etc. My sister has 100% control over all of our mother’s legal and financial matters. Apparently there was something in there she was afraid I would see…I believe she has duped our mom into signing most of her money over to her in various devious ways…POD on bank accounts, sole beneficiary on annuities, etc. Time will reveal all she has done, but that’s my gut feeling. She is a sociopath after all, and she is always working her agenda – i.e. living off other people.

    So during a later phonecall with my mom she said “I sure wish you and your sister could make amends and get back on good terms”. I replied with “That’s never going to happen since I hear now she is telling people I found her watch and hid it in your document bag”. Of course my mom, ever defending my sister, denied that my sister made that claim. When I insisted she had directly told a family member that, she said “Why don’t you call her and confront her about it?” I said, no, she would just feed me more lies and I don’t care to hear them”. She said, “Well if someone accused me of something I didn’t do I’d certainly confront them.” I said, no I don’t need to do that, it’s not like she’d ever admit to anything. So I never gave my sister the reaction or drama she was looking for. I just let it go. It is so hard when your good name and reputation are smeared, but I know from experience that confronting a sociopath never does any good. If I’ve learned one thing it is that nothing good can ever come from any contact with a sociopath!! If anyone chooses to believe her lies, that’s their problem. I no longer care.

    Like

    Reply
  2. The Honey Moon is Over

    I was still in the honeymoon stage with my sociopath. There were lots of red flags but I chose to ignore them because he made me feel so amazing. A friend of mine even tried to warn me. Apparently he had ruined the lives of a large number of women both financially and emotionally. My friend did a little digging and found evidence he was lying to me about his financial situation, where he lived, etc. (we were in a long distance relationship so I didn’t really have an opportunity to see first hand how he lived, etc.) My friend sent a text implying he was lying to me, etc. The text hinted at possible exposure to the lies. My sociopath was very calm and reasonable with my friend, no anger, nothing – just ok I will stay away. To me he sent an extremely angry email filled with outrage and told me not to contact him again. As if I had done something to him – he even told me that MY behavior was unacceptable! And just like that, this “man of my dreams” for the last year was gone. Not a word. His silence is almost deafening.

    I am a successful, intelligent woman with a wonderful life and yet a I mourned like a school girl. I couldn’t get out of bed for a week. I couldn’t eat r sleep. Nothing made the pain go away.

    I have since seen the evidence my friend had on him and it is really not good! He was even arrested for spousal abuse five years ago when married to his ex-wife. I am grateful that I have a friend who cares enough to have saved me from what could have become a living hell.

    I so desperately want to have the last word: to send him copies of the reports, to let him know how hurtful and outrageous HIS behavior was. I am gathering from this site that I should thank my lucky stars and get on with it. I can accept this in my head. But after two months I still think about him every day. Even knowing what I know, I still miss him. I know I am not missing HIM but the him he created.

    Advice?

    Like

    Reply
    • AlohaLover

      Tela will be able to tell you more about the he vs she of a sociopath.

      I have no idea if gender plays a role ……a disorder is a disorder. Like the flu.
      Does the disorder have different symptoms or traits in men vs women? That is a Tela answer.

      All I know, they will try to drag you to hell….the game is not to let them.
      Good luck!

      Like

      Reply
    • Tela

      No Posey, Sociopath is not gender specific. If you read the article Female Sociopath HERE, it will give you a better understanding of who/what you are dealing with.

      Like

      Reply
  3. Posey

    Has anyone successfully resolved their issues with their sociopath? Can it be treated with counseling?

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      Yes Posey, people daily resolve their issues with the Socoiopath. I’m not sure what the “IT” in your last sentence means.

      Like

      Reply
    • AlohaLover

      IT? You mean, he being a sociopath?
      YOU can be treated with counseling.

      When you are dealing with a sociopath, IT can NEVER be cured or treated with counseling. In my case, he charmed the shrink and she made it sound like I was the crazy person in the relationship.

      To me, that is the beauty and the victory…..IT can NEVER EVER BE CURED . Your sociopath, will be doomed to a vile life forever. He will live in turmoil forever, because he will never want his dual life to meet . That is what gets me through most days…..no pill, no book, no therapy will ever cure him.
      That is my opinion…..Tela will be able to tell you more.

      Like

      Reply
      • Tela

        Thank you AlohaLover for your great comment. “IT”, as you said can never, ever be ‘cured’ of their ASPD. Their personality is firmly intact, no one, not one thing/person/place/drug etc can or will change them {or IT}. They are master manipulators, they are master pathological liars, deceivers, cheaters with zero, I mean ZERO mental or emotional regards to the people they harm. They just slither through life, slimming the outskirts of society, thin veneer mask in place to find the next innocent person to destroy. The word EVIL does not even give them justice, the “IT’s” are far beyond Evil.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. AlohaLover

    The Last Word…my ex would pit me against his latest hooker and then say I’ve had it, you 2 fight it out as he sits back and watches the e-mails fly. The first time it happened I didn’t really think about it but then, it keeps happening, and you see a pattern form. This latest spar, I refused to let her have the last word. It sounds childish but I thought to myself ” F-you Bitch…I WILL get the last word. YOU will not tell me to stop, I’m taking my control back and I will decide NOT you”. Call me Ronda Rousey…. Quote: She is beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Like nature itself.

    My ex broke me once…..never again.

    Like

    Reply
  5. A male victim in Santaland

    I have read this before, and now reread it. I heard all those last words and more…during our break ups etc. But Tela, maybe we do have the last word per se. It might not be verbal, but more mental. We lay a boundary, go no contact and ignore them. They retaliate by giving us the silent treatment, which we have already embarked upon. Then sometime (in my case a couple of weeks ago) they break their silence (as mine did)…she saw me (I see her daily almost, her shop below my apartment) and with a phony voice managed to say Happy New Year…but I looked right threw her and entered my building. Last word? Sure now she will tell her little flying monkeys…I was just trying to be nice, and he ignored me and now he can f off etc….but I know inside she is fuming for being ignored…it is all a game…but who had the last word actually? Just a thought

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      In your case, yes, you had & still do have the ‘last word’ as not acknowledging the ‘Happy New Year’. A Sociopath does not handle rejection & by you just walking by with no acknowledgement rejected her. Which equates to you having The Last Word 😀

      Like

      Reply

Your Thoughts:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: