After coming to terms and realizing the relationship with the Sociopath has ended, or is ending, we need to in a sense rescue ourselves. Most family members, friends and co-workers have no idea what you just went through, and the complete and total emotional, mental, financial and spiritual destruction done to you. This was no “ordinary” relationship gone bad. This was purposeful and methodical emotional abuse!
There is no amount of words of advice’ or ‘understanding’ that someone can say to you about healing, that will help you to understand what happened! To the outside it appeared to be a loving, romantic relationship. And there are some who do not even realize they have become victims, they just think they lost the love of their life. What you need to realize is, you never ‘had’ them to begin with. You can read about that HERE.
To get to the place where the One Word LOVE free’s us of the pain, we need validation, you can read about that HERE. If you are reading this, or any website, literature, books etc. about abuse, then you have your validation! In normal relationships, we do not have to search for answers for behaviours, actions, or words. You have to be able to heal with validation. Because the Narcissistic Sociopath has 8 sides to their conning behaviour, you find that you are needing validation from family, friends, sometimes judges and cops. Figure out where you are wanting and/or needing validation from and adjust your expectations. The best validation will be from other people who have experienced similar to what you are going through. But most importantly keep in mind that no amount of you LOVE could have change them, or changed the abuse, mental manipulation, & the total loss of who you were prior to them.
Most of you think you will never love again, never be able to meet someone who made you feel like the Sociopath did. And your right! You won’t. The reason being is the Sociopath gave you nothing!! Nothing you say? Yes, nothing! So words were said, they made you feel as if there is no other person on the planet of 2.8 billion people who are as fabulous as you. Euphoria is the feeling you were in day in and day out, until the last day. IF, big IF you were all they said & made you feel you were, then you would not be reading this website, or having to find out what the hell just happened to you. A Sociopath is not a real person. They lack a soul, they lack respect, they lack a heart, they are an empty shell in a body. Read & educate yourself. Stop taking on all the negative they left you with. You didn’t ask for it! And there should be no reason to hang onto it. Day by day, make yourself let go a little at a time. And read my previous post about them moving on…..who cares!!! They will simply destroy that next person’s life! Be thankful you still have your’s & you do have the ability to make it as great or as horrible as you want. It’s all in your hands.
“One Word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; that word is LOVE.” sophocles