A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths
Crazy Train
How easily the Narcissistic Sociopath can push us to the edge of sanity. Once we get on, it’s so difficult to get off the crazy train.
The sociopath will exploit your weakness, therefore it makes you easier to control. It is, after all, all about control with them. Dealing with these people is so exhausting that we end up becoming brain dead {not in the literal sense}. Our sense of sanity that we once took for granted, we now search daily for. The Sociopath has hand fed you so many lies, and manipulated your thought process that you fear yourself almost. And that is when are at The Edge Of Sanity. How do we stop ourselves from becoming 50 shades of fucked up? It starts with recognizing who and what you are dealing with. No amount of love, compassion, understanding, acceptance, and so on will stop the train wreck! When the Sociopath realizes you have now caught on to them, they can easily and swiftly change from abuser to victim.
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts, promises are lies. The happy moments are just illusions Affairs are ‘accepted’ and ‘justified’ as long as you are not the one having one. Getting close to a narcissistic sociopath, is like sunshine, if you get to much you get burned. There is no easy way off crazy train. You will make multiple stops before you get to the final destination of complete emotional destruction. At this point you find yourself Pushed To The Edge.
The relationship with a Sociopath, (narcissistic sociopath) may never end. You may have been discarded, replaced, and made to feel like the biggest piece of shit person on the planet. Sociopaths have a way of doing that to us. But they also are like boomerangs, you may think they are gone, but they always find a way back. Even if it is just to keep ‘tabs’ on you. He may not have physical contact with you, but there may be communication via text, or email. It’s like their train tracks have a wider circle, but still a circle nonetheless around you.
Now it is time to jump off Crazy Train. Yesterday is derailed, tomorrow is uncertain, but today is a given! Let go of the anger, if even for a minute 😀 . Believe in yourself! Turn around and walk way. Yes! , IT is difficult, sometimes physically painful, and emotionally draining. And at times almost incomprehensible how our lives will go on without them. Because the Sociopath was both wonderful, and horrible at the same time, this causes confusion. Healing will start to happen when you stop being their victim. Healing will also start to happen when you walk away from the Edge of Sanity and not let your ‘happy memories’ shadow your new road. Remember, the Sociopath had an agenda that started with kindness~ seduction~assessment~ mimicking~ devalue~ smear campaign~ he was the conductor of the crazy train you blindly step aboard.
30 Responses to “Crazy Train”
I’ve had to cut ties with several people because it became readily apparent, they were flying monkeys. They were there only to spy and report and not because they cared for me. Sure, it hurts, but the thing to remember is, if they’re that stupid, who needs them? I’ve never been a flying monkey, so I just think they’re incrediably dumb and not good people to participate in that. I make it a rule not to fight other people’s battles or insert myself where I wasn’t involved and don’t have first hand knowledge. I do not go after people at someone’s behest or fake interest in targets to spy and gossip. That’s low life stuff that no decent human would do.
LikeLike
I completely agree and relate with this article on so many levels. We will just say my Malignant Narcissist/ Sociopath/ Psychopath Ex JDB cheated on me our entire relationship, if you would perhaps even call it that. He then moved got another girl pregnant, whom he abandoned but told her he wanted to be there for her, came back to me on numberous occasions. I finally had enough. To see the suffering their lies and downright abuse causes everyone around them is astonishing to anyone who has not experienced this first hand. They they have no conscience and thus are not capable of empathy, compassion or love. Trust me stay far far away from anyone like this. They enjoy causing others even their own children pain. It’s all about control.
LikeLike
I was with a narcissistic sociopath for 10 years. We met in California, went to college together, worked at the same company after college, were inseparable for about 6 years, then we did long distance for 3 years when he started law school in Arkansas. He always said he was going to move back home when he graduated, but he found a job right out of school and”couldn’t” leave, so I moved out and I soon found out he’d been cheating on me with multiple women, and carried on multiple ‘romantic’ relationships during law school. He even went to Korea for one girlfriend and brought me back gifts. (he told me he went for work.) He still managed to keep me on the line once I found out. Things seemed good for the next few months, but curiosity got the best of me and I was able to check his sent e-mails and he contacted an old fling on midnight, New Years 2017 while I was out of town. I confronted him and he became the victim since I was snooping and told me to leave our apartment immediately. Complete deflection, but I packed up and it became “is this really happening? we didn’t even talk about this” he wooed his way back into my pants the final 3 days I was in Arkansas after being HORRIBLE to me during my move, I left because my dad already bought a ticket to drive with me home and I’d already forked out about 2k in expenses to move back home, figured it was temporary as our breakups had been before. As it turns out, he had his latest victim (an old fling from law school) over at our apartment the day after I left and she’s spent the night almost every night since (I’m still good friends with many people in our neighborhood), meanwhile he’s still been texting me and calling me and asking if we can make it work. I went bonkers and texted his mom, sister, the latest girl to warn her (He tells me she means ‘nothing’ to him and it’s just him ‘coping’)… I called his work so he couldn’t lie to me and tell me that’s where he was when he was with her… I made myself look crazy… but after 10 years finding out it was all bogus just made me snap.I know he only sees me as useful since he’s been my only sexual partner and he views me as ‘clean’. He keeps asking me if I’ve had sex with anyone… At least I know where I stand. I hate to think of what he’s told his family, and this new girl. I’m trying to move on, my mail has finally been forwarded so I’ve blocked his number, and I plan on starting therapy shortly. Been trying to focus on work, friends, family. I plan on frequenting this site alot, just remind myself I am not the problem, he is. No matter how much he tries I can’t let him keep using me. Thank you for all the info! It’s going to be a very long healing process.
LikeLike
I’m just finding out that ex who left me 3 months ago might be a phychopath/narcissit. But feel his affair partner is one too. They broke up for few days,he hoover ed me expressing how bad she treats him. Then 2 days later telling me how “happy” he is. I’m worried about our kids together. Can someone please help me. Is my intuition correct?
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike
My sociopath is a neighbour with whom i was once friends..i got out because she kept manipulating money out of me. She has not spoken since ((5 years) However we live in a very small community. She has systematically worked through the neighbours playing the victim card..telling lies about me. It is surprising how she elicits sympathy and how feel the need to protect her from me. Quite a few ignore me now. I have had people tell me how awful i have been…and at a recent street event i was blanked by so many people i left.
I hit rock bottom and decided that i would five everyone a chance to interact properly and then i would just give up on them. But it hurtsand is hard
So.. anyone any other ideas?
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike
These people are dangerous because they are like heat-seeking missiles that know just where your vulnerabilities are. Where a normal person will try not to hit your buttons and will respect your sensitivities, a narcissist will exploit them, ignore them, or try to make you feel badly for having them. A narcissist is impossible to argue with because they are never wrong, much less responsible for any part of any disagreement. If you get frustrated with their behavior–don’t let it show–they will accuse you of lashing out. First they will try to shut you down and if you dare defend your position–they will stonewall you–sometimes for months. A narcissist will gaslight you, lie to you, cheat on you–they are always the victim and in the end, if you can manage to out maneuver them, you may have a chance for a guarded and limited amount of happiness with these people. Emphasis on manage. No matter how much you love or support a narcissist, they will never consider you. They give the minimum and expect you to be very grateful. Don’t count on your needs being met. Don’t expect loyalty, integrity, or consistency. The scary part is that while they are incapable of having a normal healthy intimate relationship, they will cast themselves as spiritual leaders, civic leaders–they will let the world see them as the people who head the PTA, the church group, etc. You will blame yourself. You will imagine that their behavior is because of something you did. You will think that if they are cheating on you, the other person must be superior and is getting their best. The other person is not superior and whatever they are getting is temporary so that the narcissist can get their hooks in. Do not be fooled. The narcissist is a diseased individual who is well-practiced in manipulation. The narcissist is insecure, immature, and selfish. Don’t look for closure in leaving a narcissist. Don’t expect anything normal. Get off the crazy train and tear up the return ticket.
LikeLike
I commented on another post about my situation but what I didn’t write is this just happened today and also that the abuse I suffered as a child left me with a disability. Right now my mother controls my money, my friend and abi worker are helping me to get that changed but how do I keep myself from allowing her to regain control over me while having to see her to access my money?
The first time I cut her out of my life was hard, I remember I felt a lot of guilt and spent several years doubting my own thoughts and being torn between knowing who and what she is and feeling like she couldn’t be and I was just being stupid. I just want to live, I want my life back, I want to be happy and I want to be free and I know she does things in ways that you can’t see until it is too late. How do I make sure this does not happen again?
LikeLike
SLG, I read your comment under Female Sociopath. So this response is going to be related to both comments. First off, your therapist was correct when she told you to ‘get rid of your mother’. However, it’s not that easy. And you don’t ‘get rid of a parent’. What your therapist should have done was help you to establish boundaries. Those boundaries being 1. how much or how little interaction YOU want/wanted with your mother. 2. Helping you to understand that all you have wanted your whole life was to be unconditionally loved, accepted and validated. Instead, you have taken on guilt! Guilt from the words your mother has spoken, guilt from her actions. So you think you can change her. SLG, that is not going to happen, EVER!!!! Do not make anymore excuses for what you have endured! Do not make anymore excuses for your mother’s word & actions, and lastly Do NOT, keep thinking ‘maybe it’s you’!!! It is NOT! Put boundaries in place. You have already established she is a pathological liar, a Sociopath and therefore YOU have the control over what you will and will not allow from this point forward. It’s no longer about pleasing her {that will never happen}, now it should ONLY be about pleasing yourself! ❤
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike
The guy that took my virginity said I wasn’t a virgin which I was we only did it once and he said it was only fuck he lied about not being married and having kids every man I’ve been with used me for sex and money the female socopath used me for money and even rob me God expose these evil people and yet I allow myself to be used and taken advantage of something is wrong with me? I’m single with an 10 year old son not rich but independent not looking for a rich man but one that has a job and not looking for an handout or free loader had too many in the past oh did I mention no lazy jerks must be sincere and Godly my name is Marigold live in Guyana south America cell number 592-6921795 it’s still nice to feel loved by a honest man that will love only me and not for material things.
LikeLike
I’m Marigold from Guyana South America single and looking for an honest man don’t have to be rich or good looking just sincere and is working because I don’t want no handout free loader like I had in the past I have an 10 year old child and I’m independent so not looking for Mr lazy
LikeLike
The guy that took my virginity said I wasn’t a virgin which I was we only did it once and he said it was only fuck he lied about not being married and having kids every man I’ve been with used me for sex and money the female socopath used me for money and even rob me God expose these evil people and yet I allow myself to be used and taken advantage of something is wrong with me?
LikeLike
The guy that took my virginity said I wasn’t a virgin which I was we only did it once and he said it was only fuck he lied about not being married and having kids every man I’ve been with used me for sex and money the female socopath used me for money and even rob me God expose these evil people and yet I allow myself to be used and taken advantage of something is wrong with me Marigold
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike
Wow, this described my older sister almost to the letter. The pain she’s caused the men in her lives is unreal. And she always- and I do mean absolutely without fail – paints herself as victim.
I cut off contact with her when, seemingly overnight (ok, granted I grew up, hit 34 years of age and said “no more”) I saw right through her. It’s awful but liberating to acknowledge the truth. I grew up in a severely messed up family so I see where she got it, but it grosses me out. I mean, she’s rotten. Yet I will always love her. Strange how that works but it does once I let go and let it be for what it was.
LikeLike
Thank you Emme for the comment. And YES! They are always, without fail, ‘the victim’…
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike
I declared forth of July my independence day! 4 years I spent on this crazy train…On that day I blocked him and he didn’t even know. 2 days later I sent an email telling him he was blocked and it was over. He tried a few times to suck me back. It’s been one week and nothing…I hope he has moved on to a new victim. And yet I’m so sad to think that he is going to ruin the lives of others. I jumped off the train just in time…He had me so turned around I almost left my husband and trashed my life…finding this webpage has been my strength and my guide. If I have a moment of weakness I return and read…I remember the lies and I am set free!!
LikeLike
Thank you Katie for your comment. I’m happy you were able to see what was happening {and got out} before you lost everything. The no contact
is
the only way to go. Yes, it is difficult as this post states, there are so many unanswered questions, and specifically WHY. But sadly you will most likely not get the answers. I wish you peace on your journey to healing.
LikeLike
Thank you! I continue to need this blog for strength. It’s where I come to remind myself that I am going to be ok!!
LikeLike
Dear Katie, thank God you have jumped off that Crazy Train. I , too was involved with a sociopathic narcissist for 4 years. I DID leave my husband, my friends, my life and most of my financial freedom for him. Guess what happened! He left me because I didn’t make him happy and he didn’t think I really loved HIM! During our time together, he initiated an affair with one of his employees, flirted with every woman that came into his business while I worked there with him! When I would become upset with his obvious flirting he would just tell me that I didn’t understand business. He had to be nice to the customers so they would come back!! He cheated, lied about everything and now went back with his old girlfriend of twenty years BEFORE I even knew about it! Of course I am on the No Contact Plan now BUT he still texted me almost dailey even though he is openly back with his girlfriend of 25 YEARS!!!! Be thankful you discovered who he really was and got away! He will never change. I, too, am so thankful I found this site because up until I did I was STILL under his spell. Letting him use me whenever it suited him and always for SEX! How humiliating ,
LikeLike
I would love to re-blog this one, but you don’t have a re-blog on your list of choices.
❤
T
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike
“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts, promises are lies. The happy moments are just illusions Affairs are ‘accepted’ and ‘justified’ as long as you are not the one having one.”
This is an excellent description.
Great post.
LikeLike
Thank you Lance for you comment! I appreciate you stopping by and reading {especially being a fellow Texan 😀 }
LikeLike
[…] Crazy Train […]
LikeLike