A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

A Victims Traits

…. These are a few personality traits that  persons with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Sociopaths are attracted to. Followed by traits after being involved with these people. These are not solely the type of people they target, as their ruthlessness knows no boundaries. You do not necessarily need to have any of these traits to become entangled with a sociopath, narcissist or psychopath. These are the pre-relationship traits;

  • wanting to please
  • lack of  or low self-esteem
  • nurturing
  • difficulty establishing and sticking to boundaries
  • wanting to be loved; being lonely
  • stability in your career
  • large circle of family & friends
  • wanting to be rescued from your life situation
  • accepting a persons bad characteristics & thinking you can change them
  • easily influenced by other’s
  • independent, yet wanting a partner
  • wanting to have an affair

These traits above can describe just about anyone on the planet. There is something with one or more of these that a narcissist, sociopath latches onto. They recognize these traits and then use them as a manipulation tool, for personal gain, control and eventually destruction. A narcissist sociopath wants to pick you apart, alienate you from your life as you knew it, and emotionally destroy you so that they feel a sense of success! Yes, it is a very, sick, twisted mindset they operate in. You have probably encountered a sociopath or narcissist over your lifetime, and you were not at a place either professionally or personally where you needed to further any contact with them. It is when you are at a point in life where your ready for a relationship, or your career places you at the hands of these people who you become of victim of theirs.

These are the traits post relationship;

  • emotional paralysis ~
  • loss of energy, enthusiasm for life ~
  • lack of motivation in your career ~
  • alienation from family & friends ~
  • panic attacks ~
  • zero trust in everyone ~ 
  • anxiety ~
  • depression ~
  • thoughts of suicide ~
  • a complete sense of loss of self-worth ~
  • indirect homicide {causing such emotional/mental distress a person ends their life} ~
  • PTSD ~
  • constant state of confusion, unable to focus or make future plans

and so many other characteristic traits that happen to you after being involved with a narcissist and sociopath. While they have sailed on in life, yours is left in tatters. I always say, write things down, write them on paper so you have something tangible to hold onto and start un-doing the damage. Bit by bit you were torn apart, like tiny shreds of paper. And bit by bit you will have to tape, glue and staple yourself back together again. You may need intense therapy, and/or medications.

But only YOU can do that! And the first step is…..stopping the rips being done, get away from the person abusing and ripping you to shreds. Yes, easier said than done, but if there is a will, there is a way and have faith! Most importantly, Have Faith In You ❤

 “One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” 

michael j. fox


16 Responses to “A Victims Traits”

  1. Aanamika

    Thank you for the article. I’ve stopped talking(changed number or in person) to the psychopath in my life, I vanished all of a sudden without giving any information. He was my ex-boss, but tried to turn the relation into affair. He tries to contact me via g mail message. I’ve stopped seeing him in person for more than a year and stopped talking for past 6 months. But I feel somewhere that he is trying to contact me. I get some dreams which most of the times seem to be correct about his actions. Can you please guide how to shield myself better and establish boundaries that this fear or thought of his goes away permanently.

    I really like your blog and learnt a lot from it. Its a great work indeed!! Kudos…


    • Tela

      Anamika, you have taken the proper steps in removing yourself from a toxic relationship {yes, even work related}. Why is your ex-boss trying to reach you? Please make sure to delete the G Mail message. There are other avenues for messaging, and if you delete that one that he has, there is zero possibility for him to contact you.
      You are already ‘shielding’ yourself from him. And it is up to you, to keep FIRM boundaries in place. Do NOT let him cross them, likewise for you…no crossing. It takes a very long time to heal and recover for a Narcissistic Sociopath. Even though you were not romantically involved, the emotional damage is very deep.


  2. naughtyzut

    Holy shit. That second list (except for the third from bottom, I hope) describes my last few years. I thought something had triggered latent clinical depression and anxiety, including social anxiety, combined with personality flaws I somehow hadn’t noticed until recently. In short, I blamed my DNA and my own neurochemistry for being seriously abnormal.

    He ghosted me last year when my doctor and I found a combination of meds that started to really help. He ceased all contact when my brain started to return to normal, when I started to break the surface. I let him, and it’s actually felt good. Not at all what I would have expected a couple of years ago.

    Granted, I sometimes miss what I thought we had, but I’ve recognized that it was nothing but a hollow construct, a deliberate illusion. Reading through your blog has made me feel better about the whole thing, though. I *did* crazy, but not without help. Thank you.


    • Tela

      Thank you for your comment. Yes, a Sociopath can certainly make a person think and feel if they are the ‘crazy’ one, or the person who has ‘all the problems’ and so on.
      It is perfectly normal to have those feelings of missing him. However, you are not missing a ‘normal’ person. You are missing what you felt {during the good times}, or the lies words that were spoken.
      Continue to heal. Stay on YOUR path!


  3. Jo Simmons

    I just want to say thank you for your helpful insight. I have just recently threw my sociopath out and it has been hell for three weeks. I feel like my mind is molested by him daily. It has been three weeks and I still find myself wanting to get answers which I know I never will. your information is helping me daily, take one step at a time. Although it feels as though I take one step forward and 3 back. 😦


    • rabbitfootblog

      Can I ask you a question? Did you start to question yourself as if you were the bad person? I’m going through that and wanted to know if that was a symptom


      • innovandrew

        This happens because your core values were violated. To deal with this, you must step outside those values.

        Try to realize that you had no choice. Doing what you had to do is good. Reflect on your values.

        Your values were violated, like an infection of good by evil. You protected and faught for good.

        You must manage this symptom. It’s one that primes you up for evil to return. Fighting for your values is not over until this symptom subsides.


  4. Chris

    Hi Tela,

    Your insights are so spot on….it helps tremendously to see the feelings and emotions we’re going through written about. I’ve been through too much shit, and can only now say that it is sites/blogs and people like yourself that provide information and education that people like myself need. You are appreciated. Your site has been so helpful and thoroughly comprehensive. I’m lucky to have found it. I can attest to the fact that educating ourselves helps validate our plight and leads us in the direction of beginning to heal. Thank you.

    It’s the lifting of the fog and the beginning and understanding of what has been happening. It is the ‘closure’ our exes refuse us. The elusive answers we are deserved that your are helping us find. It really helps to be able to see a list of qualities or characteristics and circumstances and be able to classify the collective with a label. Thank you.


  5. Florence St John

    I wrote a book about my relationship with a narcissist sociopath. At the time, I wasn’t aware that I am a codependent. I marketed the book as a novel, but after being ignored for over a year have decided to own it as a personality disorder story. That is the only way people can accept the roles of the major charaters.


  6. DogDharma

    I hope you don’t mind. I’ve put a link to this post in my blog. Thank you!


  7. Outlier Babe

    Excellent list. Like sharks to blood in the water, bullies of all stripes, including sociopaths, are drawn to abuse victims–who often demonstrate many of the traits on your list. I know I did.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. BrooklinSmash

    It makes me feel sad that I have and had so many if not close to all the traits you mentioned. Pre and Post. Now that I am aware of these traits, they help the healing process. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person


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