A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

10 Things to Stop From The Sociopath

As we know, life is to short to allow our happiness to be dictated by someone else. Now that you are away from the pathological sociopath lies, the sociopath cheating, the sociopath deceptions, here are 10 things to stop doing after life with a sociopath.

1  Stop running from your problems.  We are not made to instantly solve  problems. The sociopath causes a truck load of problems from mental, emotional to financial. One of our purposes of living is to learn and adapt to problems, however, we do not need to adapt to the verbal and emotional abuse from a sociopath. Write your problems down, solve them one at a time. Don’t run from them.

2Stop holding onto the past. Was life that fabulous with the sociopath? Are you missing the lies? Are you missing the abuse? Are you missing the feeling of how insignificant you were to the sociopath? Holding on to the ‘happy moments’ will not allow you to move onto the next chapter.

3Stop being scared to make a mistake. You were probably beat down and berated from the sociopath for something they considered a ‘mistake’. It’s OK to make them, you are after all, only human. You are not your mistakes, everything that has happened is to prepare you for a moment that has yet to come.

4  Stop looking to other’s for happiness. Before someone else can you love you, you must love yourself. And ask this, did your sociopath really love you? Happiness is also derived from love, be your own supply of love right now. Be your own happiness! 😀

5Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The sociopath may have left your life in shambles, and for sure the abuse done by them will most likely leave lifelong scars. What positive comes out of feeling sorry for yourself? It’s OK to occasionally revisit the past and feel sorry for what you endured, but stop letting this be a motivating factor for not healing and moving forward.

6Stop living with hate. You hate the sociopath for hurting you. You hate the sociopath for the pathological lying they did. You hate the sociopath for {insert your hate here}…..Stop with the hate and forgive. Forgiving the sociopath is not saying what you did to me is OK, it is saying to yourself the sociopath will not let hate live in me.

7Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. Unless your friends or family have personally been involved with a sociopath they don’t need your explanations. And your enemies will not believe you. If you have children with the sociopath, be an example of who they are, not a cause.  Meaning, the sociopath most likely has a negative effect on the children, stop explaining that, and stop explaining yourself. Just do what is right in your own heart.

8Stop worrying so much. By worrying you are stripping yourself of momentary happiness, the same things you are worrying about today, will be there tomorrow. Unless you start doing what i listed in #1. The damage from the sociopath is done! You are now in control of your future, but stop worrying so much about it. Give time…..time.

9Stop being idle. The sociopath put you on the crazy train to nowhere, and now your off. Don’t be idle in your hurt and confused state. Evaluate your current situation and make a decisive action. Most actions make us grow out of our comfort zone. And the comfort zone with the sociopath could not have been all the blissful.

10Stop being ungrateful. We tend to focus on what we missed in our lives with a sociopath. The sociopath took so much from us, that it is easy to become ungrateful. Think about what you do have that other’s are missing. Right this moment think of one thing you are grateful for! What is it?


162 Responses to “10 Things to Stop From The Sociopath”

  1. Nellie

    Remember that the Sociopath provides services. Nothing more. Then u will both get what u want.
    …but never true devotion!


  2. slwhippyahoocom

    I need help. I have been disgarded like trash. I do not miss the lies, cheating, chaos, confusion, more lies, ugh. I do good for a day or two then I lose it. I reach out and act nice until he is so distant I just blow my stack. I want to hurt him the way he is hurting me. Like he never even knew me. He wrecked my life for years, I have nothing to give and he is gone like the wind. Any normal person would run away, I am still begging him to love me. OMG I need help… I am the only one who can change.


    • Tela

      Yes you are the only one who can change. And the first ‘change’ is to stop ‘romancing ‘ the thoughts that the Sociopath will change. No matter how nice/mean/hateful/forgiving you are, his personality will never change! Take it hour by hour, I promise in time you will be free from this hell you’re in.


  3. Maria Smith

    Reassigning a sociopath the name Teacher helped to keep the focus on MY recovery: he taught me I deserve sooooo much more from life, love, and my loved ones. Forgiveness, too, to soften my heart and soul but now have full knowledge and power to NEVER be taken in like that again. Compassion, kind heartedness, caring and humanity begins with ME. I dumped, and dealt to a sociopath so am very very lucky. It helps to reframe the con/relationship/trick in their terms to move on faster. Grief, etc, cannot be dwelled on too long as your pain, torture was what they wanted. In other words, don’t hang around there. I gained my freedom, not ‘lost’ something which was all a fabricated bs monstrosity designed to ‘take me down’. Didn’t work! They cannot experience REAL connections: every single person is a mark – they are hunters, mercenaries, and parasites par excellence. The experience has made me tougher, humble and, smarter. Living a real, full, loving, fun (!) beginning with how I TREAT myself! Life is SPECTACULAR with real humans and is the ultimate revenge: something a sociopath can, and never will have which comforts me, actually. They reap what they sow, in the end.


  4. Paula

    They are EXTREMELY DANGEROUS in EVERY WAY. They are CAPABLE OF KILLING YOU and will if they feel they NEED to for some selfish sick reason. If he was verbally or emotionally abusive to you (including even one act of disappearing, going silent, or abandoning you even for a short time one time), you will get more of the same and far worse. Your emotional and mental health depends on you standing up and escaping the sick creep, once and for all. You will not know how good this will feel until you are 100% free. ANY link to him will always make you feel distraught because the hot/cold treatment is the epitome of an abuser. They are like some sick contagious disgusting disease. Run!

    It does get better, MUCH, MUCH BETTER once you have run away permanently from the sick disease! You will be free and very happy, but it will take a little time to stop thinking about him AT ALL. I took three vacations in 4 weeks. I NEEDED to ESCAPE. I NEEDED nourishment for my mind and soul after being ravaged by IT! He is not a man, but rather an IT. I no longer think about it AT ALL, and I feel free, confident, and very happy. You will too:)


  5. Kristin

    Wow! What a perfect time for me to read this. Long story short. He held me against my will and tortured me in horrific ways. He ultimately was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, felony battery and 8 more charges. I have been homeless with severe PTSD for almost a year after escaping with sereous injuries that I still have never seen a doctor for. I just found out he is probably going to serve 2 years. I have so much anger inside me I can barely remember the kind, caring person I was when I was trying to get him help. Thank you. This really helped.


  6. Stephanie

    I can’t, no matter how hard I try, quit missing him?!?! I thought he was my soulmate. In the four years that we were on-again/off-again, I lived in constant bliss when he was there, in constant hell when he would discard me. He finally moved in with me in May. We got along great and I felt so complete. He up and abandoned me on Labor Day. I am suicidal. Please help.

    Liked by 1 person

    • alohalover

      Stephanie, if you are feeling like you will harm yourself, you MUST contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255 . The statement you made is nothing to joke at.
      The feelings of missing him are normal. It’s coming up on 4 years and there are times I miss him but the truth is, I MISS THE ILLUSION OF WHO I THOUGHT HE WAS. You do too. A normal man who sparks right in the head would never do the BS he does to you. It’s not normal.
      Don’t let him back into your life…block him, delete him, change your number and if you can move. He will continue to do this to you. X as I choose to call him, did the same BS until I, with Tela’s help fought the fight and clawed my way back to my new normal. I won’t lie, it took me 2 1/2 years to feel normal, to listen to the radio…truth, I didn’t want to hear songs that took me back to the time with him. But then, I remember the lies, the cheating, the non-stop porn, more cheating and whoring around with promises of change and I NEVER want to relive that again…ever. You can do it…reach out and someone here will always reach back. Don’t go back….he will NEVER EVER CHANGE. He will always be a sociopath. But YOU, you will rise up and live a beautiful life….as someone told me, ” I promise it will get better”.


      • slwhippyahoocom

        I am reading this on 1/14/19. Is there anyone out there. I am just realizing I have been disgarded like trash. I need help. I go up and down, being nice, then being mean because he has no answers. He loves knowing the fact that I can not come see him. It gives him power to know how much this is killing me. I just realized what is happening and it is all making sense. I do not miss the lies, stealing, drugs, jobs, no jobs, jail, probation, no showers, leached on like a maggot and now he is sober and has a new target, or many for that matter to help him get ahead, he has no use for me whatsoever. Wow, this is the first time I wrote my own truth. I feel like a 3rd person reading this and feel sorry for the poor girl. ME. It is devastating to realize I gave my heart and soul and he just threw me out like trash.


  7. Liz

    I love you Annie. You are so honest. You did so much to try to understand him. There is no understanding them. Idk if u still communicate with him but do yourself, your family, friends, co-workers and women like us in every country on the planet and think abt Annie. By continuing to think abt him & wonder why he did and said inappropriate, unfair and downright cruel, manipulative, degrading & hurtful things to you, you are continuing to let him have control over you. It gives him the power he craves. Dont fulfill his needs. I dont care what he says, he does not care one bit about you. You are one of many playing pieces in his fucked up game of Life. I love your list. Its awesome! I smiled with each thing you did on that list .. 2 cloths especially. People with these types of disorders .. psychopaths sociopaths narcs aspd borderlines whatever u wanna call them …they all intersect one another (theyre all very much the same with only subtle nuances separating them…theyre not like all the other ppl you know .. they have NO CONSCIENCE WHATSOEVER, THE DO NOT FEEL GUILT or REMORSE (REGRET) FOR ANYTHING THEY DO THAT HURTS YOU They’ll never apologize for their actions… no matter how bad … youre just a toy to him .. he uses you when he needs to .. hes doing the same to all the others .. hes DANGEROUS .. he’ll destroy your happiness take your innocence shatter your spirit and steal your smile … hes all that matters to him. Its all instant gratification at any cost..the best advice I could give you is ZERO CONTACT. Change your phone number. Never text him. Block him on email so that his emails go straight to the trash. Never read them. Move on. This was a learning experience. He has no empathy or sympathy. He isn’t capable of love. Hes an empty shell and you are not. ZERO CONTACT. its the only hope but you MUST stick with it no matter how terrible the lies he tells you to try to reel you back into his giant web of lies & deceit. Dont fall for it.



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