A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Success Story?

I read a piece about leaving a sociopath narcissist and at the end the author put ‘do you have any comments or suggestions to help this particular person out of the relationship and have her own ‘success story? Is it really ‘success’ when we are able to ESCAPE the psychological hell???? I could never say ‘oh look I’m a ‘success’ story for getting away from my Narcissistic sociopath! I have permanent emotional scars! Nothing ‘successful’ about that!
What about innocent children who are mentally & emotionally abused during their childhood, and carry this abuse their entire lives! Would we call these children success stories?
There are so many, many women (&children) that are emotionally imprisioned by a sociopath and/or, narcissist. And all of us at one time or another thought ‘let me just give the relationship a little more time it will get better’. And as we know so well, it NEVER gets better. Because of the never ending mind masturbation done to us by sociopaths and narcissist, we become so emotionally attached! And mentally exhausted. With this emotional attachément, you are left, daily, in a state of limbo. Your life does not move forward- it’s just a continual spin cycle of crazy. Sure, there are good days with your sociopath, there are probably even great days! But in mentally healthy & mutual respectful relationships, these good & great days happen on a consistent basis. Not only when your narcissist feels he is loosing control over you and needs to fake being nice & caring. Or you threaten to end the relationship and they are not ready to give you up.
We have all experienced the FEAR of leaving an abusive, UNhealthy relationship with a sociopath or narcissist. When you know you ‘need’ to get away, you just don’t know ‘how’ to do it. We have such mixed emotions and it always seems the ‘maybe he will change’, or ‘I have nowhere to go’,emotions win out.
But you do have options! Staying because of the children, or no career only continues the abusive cycle. (I will have a post later about leaving with children involved). There are community services for abused women & children. There are half-way houses. You may feel like you lost your dignity by reaching out to these places, but let’s face it, how much dignity do you have being continually abused? Reach out for help! Reach out for support!

A Life Which Does Not Go Into Action Is A Failure

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3 Responses to “Success Story?”

  1. Mia

    Thank you for your help and all you do to help people sort throughout this all.

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  2. Mia

    My success story? My story with a sociopath began three years ago. Having successfully worked through issues in my marriage, I was asked by my Church to assist those in need of marital assistance.

    The minute this lady and her husband spoke to me, I immediately knew their problems were very serious. They stood out by leaps and bounds from every other couple. I mean, every crazy, dramatic and dysfunctional thing that could happen did happen. The term evil came to mind. This was the second marriage for each of them. They each had a child from a previous marriage.

    I was hoping they were sincere in their desire to move in a positive direction for themselves and their children. They weren’t! Both of them had anger management problems, never took responsibility for anything they said or did. It looked like neither of them even knew what normal was. Worse of all, their children were last on this power couples list of priorities.

    Knowing this couple needed more service than I could give, I recommended counseling. Guess what! Somehow they found the family counselor with the wimpiest reputation in our area. Nothing changed after a year of counseling.
    One child got a lawyer so they did not need to visit with this stepmother. The other kid moved in with friends and eventually moved in with an uncle so they could escape this situation. The only thing important to this woman is this man’s money. The only emotion I ever thought that she sincerely had was, anger.
    She came on very strong with me. She wanted my help in a BIG way. She wanted someone on her side. Problem was it was a waste of my time because she never took any of the advise. Be it fair fighting, better communication skills, financial advise or parenting suggestions she would do the opposite. She went go Church every Sunday but got nothing from it. She goes around praying and it makes me sick. I struggled and used all my emotional and spiritual tools just to keep from letting the drama overtake me.

    This woman showed me emails and text messages which she sent to her husband, mother and brother. They were abusive and saturated with rage and cruelty. She argued that she saw nothing wrong with them and justified all her actions. Chilling!

    I knew that I was dealing with a sociopath about a year ago. I have been reading this column for the past two weeks and it helped give me the courage to tell this woman that our time had come to an end. I told her that I have passed on all the skills and wisdom which I had to give her and that our relationship was over. I blocked texts and emails. This is so hard!

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    • Tela

      Thank you Mia for sharing. First off, sometimes I wish I could hit the ‘block’ button in my career, but unfortunately I cannot. I do have to tell individuals/couples that I can no longer provide anymore ‘help’ for them. This couple sounds like so many I have encountered. Basically they were each wanting you to be on ‘their’ side, without taking any accountability in the relationship as a whole. Just pointing fingers. I can truly relate to your comment about struggling and using all your emotional & emotional spiritual tools to keep from letting the drama overtake you. It’s difficult to say the least because as a ‘normal’ emotionally/spiritually stable women, you could SEE all the dysfunction, yet, neither of them wanted to actually follow through on your adivce. Very common as a Narcissistic Sociopath lives in a constant state of denial! And of course nothing is EVER there fault!

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