A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Rejection…

Rejection hurts! Plain and simple, it hurts to the core. And it especially hurts when there is no closure from the Sociopath that walked out of your life. Most likely blaming everything on you . You feel angry, bitter, and sadness. So how to deal with rejection? That is one of the most common questions I’m asked.
First you have to go back and see where the rejection first began. And I can almost promise you- if you think about it, the rejection happened way before they walked out or, you ended it.

When you said something kind- were your ‘kind’ words reciprocated? {rejection}. If you asked them about something they said that you knew to be a lie, did they admit they lied? No! {rejection}. Were your feelings of compassion/sympathy reciprocated? {rejection}. If they wanted to go somewhere and you explained in realistic terms why you couldn’t go on a round the world first class trip, and they just could not fathom that, and instead told you all the ‘reasons’ why your cheap {rejection}. If they planned something with someone else and neglected didn’t feel the need to talk with you about it beforehand {rejection}. If you were not feeling well and need the Sociopath to do something/anything but they had a list of reason why they couldn’t {rejection}. Did they go out of their way to plan a special event? {rejection}. Did they have a group of long term friends that were a part of your lives {rejection}. In the beginning of your relationship did you noticed red flags, odd behaviour {rejection}. If the Sociopath reminded you constantly of something they did for you and how you ‘didn’t appreciate it’ {rejection}. If they were on online dating sites while you were together, {rejection}. If they were lying about other people that you found out about {rejection}.

I could go on and on with examples of Rejection before they even left.  So to deal with the Rejection , it is imperative that you fully understand the rejection was already taking place. You were simply pouring your heart & soul into a doomed relationship from day one. Go back and think about different scenarios and how {rejection} can fit into them. Outcome will still be the same. You were rejected because there was nothing more the Sociopath needed from you. Be it financially, emotionally or sexually, you no longer had what they needed. And you know what? They no longer have what YOU NEED!!! Which is Peace, No more lies, Contentment, and No more verbal or emotional abuse! So REJECT THEM!!!
Yes, I know some of you have seen the Ex sail on with a new victim, person. And that hurts. But a Sociopath is a Sociopath is a Sociopath. So just because they sailed on with an unsuspecting new person, you, yourself already know how the Sociopath will be rejecting them. Just like with you , you couldn’t see it at first, but trust me, it is happening.

Rejection teaches you how to reject.       jeanette winterson

 

©SociopathLife.Com

15 Responses to “Rejection…”

  1. net

    Vampire exist only in dream. If we are strong enough, and don’t allow the victim mindset to set in, and find courage to walk away. They suck on the token on our necklace that we wore since childhood- anger, shame, and pain. That raw emotions get exploited, and they use it against us to trap us in the “crazy train.” The moment when you start talking about those emotions, make sure you look into their eyes….it will be a dead stare. They will use that same emotions to “traumatized,” your soul. Evil do exist.

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  2. Mickey.

    My X I was ultra in taste over a year was very ‘overly sexual. Agressive sexually. When I caught him looking on line for sex a few times . I ended t g e relationship. He isolated me from his freinds made me feel it was always my fault. .. he was the one who chased me when we met. Then quickly made a turnaround after I was hooked on him …he now claims we r freinds. But still shows mild signs of a tease to me. To make me jealous. And lies a lot. Not dependable. Unemployed. Had grand plans at 30 for an instant family n baby and new job to drop into his lap. …..but going no where fast. Just plays video games all day and hunts for sex with strangers. ..things he’s. Always rite. N perfect. And a great catch his family funds him money to float him rent bills spending money even. He smokes weed daily. Tell me if you think hes,a sociapaths. I get so depressed still even trying to be freinds with no sex. …help. me …..please

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  3. Dale

    You’re right, looking back the (rejection) did start little by little more each year. At the time of separation I was alone for a long time. There’s was little doubt in what she was up to. I mostly remember a vicious cycle of mainly depression, then anger ( almost to the point of exhausting rage) follow by a short term of some acceptance, temporary forgiveness.
    Then another long bout of depression, and little sleep then angry, followed by a little more of acceptance & over again & again. I found that time had became my reluctant best friend, prolonging the pain as long as I needed to find understanding. I wished I had known of this site back in them days. If you are seeking answers, you needtnot look any futher than this site first.The support I’ve read on this site, is like the mortar, to strengthen the nessary brick wall, yall
    were speaking about.
    Though all that time of needless misory, I came to realize, & accept the fact in my on mine, I must forgive her. (Crazy as it sounds, even though I never considered it nessary to tell her.) Just in order to get my peace of mind back and get on with my new blessed life. Without a sociopath in it. LOVE YOURSELF enough, to let go of their type of hate. Totally & ENTURNALY.
    P.S. I thought I posted this comment yesterday. I hope it’s not just an edited copy.

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  4. Dale

    You’re right looking back the (rejection) did start little by little more each year. At the time of separation I was alone for a long time. There’s was little doubt in what she was up to. I mostly remember a vicious cycle of mostly depression, then anger ( almost to the point of exhausting rage) follow by a short term of almost acceptance, temporary forgiveness.
    Then another long bout of depression, and little sleep then angry, over & over again & again. I guess time had to be my best friend. I wished I had known of this site back in them days. The support I’ve read on this site, is like the mortar, in the brick wall, yall were speaking of. Though all that time needless misory, I came to realize, & accept the fact in my on mine I must forgive her. (Crazy as it sounds, even though I never told her ) In order to get my peace of mind back and get on with my blessed life. Without a sociopath in it. Love yourself enough, to let go of their hate. Totally

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    • elle

      My hardest challenge right now is getting past my anger and frustration now that I know the NS I was involved with for 2 and a half years has already moved on to his next victim (after just 3 weeks), and is being, as I can’t help but see it, REWARDED when he should be getting PUNISHED. I am almost obsessed with wanting it to end quickly, so that he will not be able to get what he wants from this new woman. (I sent you a detailed email, and hope that you will have a chance to write back — I am sure you are inundated with them, as this appears to be a widespread, horrible thing that happens to many women, and some men too …).

      Intellectually, I totally realize that he will never be in a happy, healthy long-term romantic relationship with anyone, and that this current involvement will end in as much pain for her as mine did for me. But in the meantime, that MONSTER is getting affection, attention, (eventually) gifts, etc. while I am still spinning and suffering. It’s just more unfairness for me to deal with as I take things one day at a time and try to heal. Although my situation and the NS in my life was not a 100% text book case, he was close enough for me to understand that I am blessed to have been able to finally walk away. But this all is one of the most painful, terrible experiences of my life.

      Thank you for your blog. It is so valuable.

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  5. Robyn

    My brick wall is now fortified with extra strength, and I can say I am pretty darned happy about that right now.
    Trust is earnt, suffice to say I don’t have to trust everybody, but I can trust some. Those that have proven themselves untrustworthy are no longer part of my life.
    Yay

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    • Tela

      Great news your brick wall is fortified with extra strength. Can you share with my other readers on how you got to that point, please. 😀

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  6. John

    After going through a six year marriage to a sociopath. I learned that the brick wall is here to defend me. It is my fortress to launch into my future. This brick wall was built brick by brick. My total life overhaul, will be built brick by brick. Every curse my XB gave me. I have turned into a blessing. I am glad it is over! Now I can really enjoy life again.

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    • Tela

      Thank you John for your comment. And interesting how your brick wall is to defend you! That is a great way to look at it as well.

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