A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

No Contact and the Aftermath

We go no contact, we have come to  realize the monster, the creep and the vile and shallow person the ex is a Narcissist, Sociopath. Male or female, as Sociopath is not gender specific. We analyze every word and action we said, they said. We self doubt, we hurt, we cry rivers and rivers of tears. Then……we have moments of perhaps, what if, maybe they are….whatever, This is cognitive dissonance. Hate that word it is too technical. I wrote about that HERE

Anyway, so now that we are understanding that we were with a monster, and this monster truly brought us to the depths of HELL. They in turn float like corks…empty in depth, weight and substance per se (a cork is rather solid i.e. wine bottles). …what do we miss? Why do we miss them? Why do we have feelings of shame, guilt etc. Over and over either in person, email or comments left on my site the word ‘shame’ and ‘guilt’ are said over and over. Why have shame? What did YOU do to carry that? You have never in your life before had to defend every thing you thought to be morally correct, every thought, every feeling, every emotion, you had to defend against the Sociopath. Right down to the clothing you wore. You submitted yourself to their verbal and emotional abuse, you begged/pleaded for the reason the relationship has changed. You had to walk around their ever moving mine-field of bombs. That is why you feel ‘shame’ because you did not see or feel it happening to you……the HEAD FUCKERY as I call it.

Then, we move on, find a partner maybe a few partners….move on and on….but we become bored ourselves. Have we been conditioned…sure. But do we in a crazy way enjoy the drama…a little yes and an absolute no. So what the fuck is going on.

We get angry when they contact us, directly or indirectly…we want them to disappear totally. This is where their FLYING MONKEY’S come in to play. Yet when  an ex wife contacts us, or in my case and ex bf {I wrote about that HERE}…We are confused depending on their message. We vacillate back and forth in our head, should we respond to their calls/messages/emails? . We want to know….. but we then we don’t….we could care less, however we are aware, and sometimes hopeful that they have ‘changed, want to try again, learned from their mistakes and all the other bullshit lies that come out of their mouths, just to suck you back in.

When this happens, it is better to do nothing….count to 10, let a few days pass…then respond if you are inclined to {but remember, you start back at day one of NO CONTACT}…..otherwise we are eating the bait…and they, those fuckers take an angel stance….“me? what?, you are fucked up, I have moved on, was in Venice and Paris.Am happy, found my soul mate, told her/him how you stalk me….how crazy you are etc….all part of the game. and SMEAR CAMPAIGNThe aftermath of No Contact puts you on a whole other level of mental and emotional hell, that too, in time, you will heal from.

Delusional and infantile
Crawling with self-importance
Living inside your own mind
Where no one or nothing else matters.
They have seen you the anonymous
Eaten you whole
Left only the carcass
Of someone we used to know.
Look inside yourself
Find the hollow
empty shell of
who you used to be.
Goodbye old friend
Sad to say we never were
You lived with the monster
Inside yourself and
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