A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Cause And Effect

Cause-Effect

Once you become involved with someone who has a Personality Disorder such as Sociopath, Psychopath, Narcissist, your life will begin to look just like this picture~ A domino effect  to complete emotional and mental destruction, and sometimes financial ruination. 

In this post I will list many symptoms Caused by your Sociopath, Psychopath, Narcissist. You can spend countless hours searching the internet trying to figure out “is this person I am with {or was}, one of these people with a Personality Disorder?…..once you confirm they are in fact a Sociopath, Psychopath, and/or Narcissist, you will be left in the dust with one or more of the following:

  • Emotional Paralysis  
  • Irritability 
  • PTSD (Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder)
  • Financial Devastation/Destitution 
  • Insomnia
  • Lack (or lower) interest in life
  • Loss of Energy
  • Numbness of Feelings
  • Depression {or severe depression}
  • Anxiety -{see also this post}
  • Fear- {i spoke about that in this post }
  • Disinterest In Having a Relationship {trust you once knew it, is now gone} 

This is just a small list of the Cause and Effect….some survivors have many more symptoms, and some even more severe. Each of these needs to be addressed one at a time. Remember, these are effects caused by your toxic relationship. *note: some of you may have had depression and/or anxiety prior to your relationship with a sociopath etc. and you will find these illness’s are significantly prominent. Once you can fully recognize and most importantly understand it was not YOU, you were an innocent victim, you will be able to accept and hopefully work through each of these ‘effects’ you are left to deal with. And it will take time….as I always say “Give Time….Time”.  

The sooner you can remove yourself away from the person causing these effects in you, the sooner you can start to heal. You may need therapy, or even medication. The first step to healing {other than removing yourself from the toxicity} is acceptance. Accept what happened/is happening, and understand, you cannot  change someone with a Personality Disorder. You will question yourself over multiple scenarios, you will want answers to behaviour.  However, you will not be able to change what happened, and if you get answers they more than likely will be filled with lies, delusions, or best yet, blame you for everything that went wrong. You have control of your future now!

People with Personality Disorder’s are like Tornado’s, they come swirling into your life, and in the blink of an eye your life is now in shambles, your emotions are now void, and you are left in the dust of their storm.

©sociopathlife.com  ©sociopathworld.wordpress.com

15 Responses to “Cause And Effect”

  1. hurtconfused

    I need help badly, I don’t know if I’m in the wrong or him. It is sending me in a rage. Ive checked sites took test and all to see if I’m the narc or him. Only because I believe he said it on fb towards me

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  2. Nita Mayfield

    I am almost 2 years out of my relationship with a Sociopath and I am here to tell you it is the hardest 2 years I’ve lived in my life ( you can count the 4 years I spent with him too ).
    So 6 years now I’m in to trying to regain even a shred of who I formerly was.
    I believe a lot of the problem is, that their previous victims just have to go away and hide almost to feel whole again but the Sociopath has already moved on to con another victim, keep their former life and everything without reprecussions. This is like letting a thief get away all the time but you can’t do or say anything about it because the Sociopath has already made you look like you’re crazy?
    We need to stop them I think from ever harming another.
    As I said I am 6 years dealing with this SOB and the afternath and he has lost nothing. And what it has cost me emotionally, physically and financially has been unsurmountable,
    I’d like to add that I have one major hurdle in dealing with the aftermath and that is that the sociopath I was with elected to leave me on death’s doorstep one morning to go golfing.
    Now to actually think about this, he literally was willing to let me die and he did not care?
    You put your trust and love in someone and he is so cold and removed that he is willing to let you die.
    There is a law on the books called Duty to Rescue but he didn’t think he had to protect me? Why is it that I cannot prosecute him for literally leaving me to die under this law? If there is a lawyer that can help please contact me.
    My fear is that he very well will let someone die without helping in the future. It was like living with your enemy.

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  3. Mkm

    I was not sure where to comment this but… After two months of no contact, I have come to the realization of what he is, and all the pyscological, emotional, and physical abuse he has put me through; it is just not right and I wish I would have known what I know now, as cliche as it sounds. It has been quite the healing process and still going… But I am in a predicament about whether to report him to my school. Everywhere I go, I fear I may see him and it is not helping the healing process. I feel the school/ dean will not understand this all, but I do have evidence (pictures and a log) of the physical abuse… Is it too late to report him? To help myself heal as well as other targets on campus.. He is a staff member and a time bomb… I don’t know what to do.. Do I let it go and not say anything? Can I still report him for safety of other girls and myself? I appreciate any comments…

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  4. L

    This is absolutely some of the most profound knowledge that I have read on the subject.
    You’ve nailed it—absolutely—to a T.

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  5. summertime52

    Tela, HELP !!! He told his sister to tell me he wants his iron/ironing board back that he left. This was after he sent me the last message on the day he moved all his stuff out and I told him then he left some things behind including the iron/ironing board. When I offered to take them to his work and leave for him he refused, saying he would pick them up for me. I said I didn’t think that would be a good idea and he got mad. Told me to keep everything, never contact him again and if I did he would consider it harassment. I told him that was fine, I wouldn’t but to remember that worked both ways and NO CONTACT included contacting me through a third party. I had the police present when he was here that day moving out his things. After he left they did a walk through and found the things that were his. They took those with them. After he told me to keep everything I notified them and they disposed of them. I let his sister know this and told her if he has any other questions he can contact them. The other items were things like his high school ring, remote controls to his electronic equipment, etc. In the 4 years I’ve known him I’ve never once seen him use an iron/ironing board. Why wouldn’t he ask for the things that were of value to him? Because he thinks I need/want an iron/ironing board? I did not want ANY trace of him left behind which is why I gave it all to the police.

    I had the police present for a reason. He was the one who said NO CONTACT and if I did he would consider it harassment however he is the one who is now initiating contact through a third party and this was after I gave him every opportunity to get his things from the property AND return what he had left behind. He was also the one who said for me to keep everything.

    I am certain he is doing this to try and get a reaction from me and he won’t. I will not respond to him however my concern is that if he doesn’t get what he wants, what will be his next move. It’s been 3 weeks since he’s been gone. I don’t fear for my physically safety. I have a no trespassing order in place. He can’t come near me or in my home. He has no history of physical violence. Once he receives the reply back from his sister he will see this tactic will not work. He is blocked on all my social media. Will he begin going through my family? Probably so. Oh God, I won’t stand a chance then. He already solicited my brother in law who he never liked to help him move out.

    In the past I have NEVER stood up to him during all the times he has discarded me. He has always been the winner and walked away with everything of his and mine too. Things didn’t go the way he planned this time. I did NOT back down. When he said he wanted to end things, I simply said OK, goodbye and I moved with a quickness to get rid of him as fast as I could and went into a fight and flight mode. I had to save myself because I knew he was out to destroy me

    I did not do anything at all to try and destroy him in any way. I just tried to save and protect myself. He had to go live with his mother. He did not have a new victim/supply source secured yet. He can’t afford to live on his own. He has burned so many bridges it’s catching up with him and the fact that I have moved on along with both his former wives have moved on and are doing so well is eating him alive.

    In other past situations you’ve seen what do Narcissist Sociopaths usually do? I am doing so well right now and it’s only been 3 weeks since he’s been gone. I know this may seem trivial but I also know him. He is always plotting and scheming. He cannot accept defeat. He does not give up. I’ve seen how he does with other people and situations and I can’t imagine that he would do anything different with me. I don’t have enough grounds for a protective order. I’ve already checked with the police department and obviously it wouldn’t matter. He has shown no regards to authority so far.

    Do I write him a nasty letter and tell him to leave me alone and move on just to give him the satisfaction so he thinks he has won that way he will think he has and then he will stop there and go no further? I don’t care what he thinks. Would that keep him from contacting anyone else and causing me trouble? I’m afraid if I continue to ignore him he will keep going on and on and on. I don’t want to do that because I want him out of my life but yet I don’t know how to make that happen either.

    Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks !

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    • Tela

      Hello Summertime, I am going to send you an email. I will make a comment here as well so that other reader’s will see this. DO NOT contact him via email, text, smoke signal anything! He is wanting some sort of reaction from you because this will then give him what he needs. PLEASE don’t do it. I will send you an email with my other suggestions. Hang in there!! I am sooooooo proud of how far you have come, in a very short amount of time!!! ❤

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  6. summertime52

    THANK YOU for the confirmation. In a little more than an hour he is scheduled to arrive with a Uhaul and pick up the last of his things. I’ve already had the locks changed and he can never come back in the door, legally. He is officially OUT of my life FOR GOOD and there is NO REASON he ever has to contact me ever again. I made arrangements in advance to have a police officer present and sit with me inside of the house for up to 3 hours while he is here packing/moving so he cannot harm me or my property. I had to pay $100 for this but it was worth it. So why am I still sitting here shaking and ready to puke? Fear of the unknown. Who is he bringing with him? His new girlfriend? A gun? Will he even show up and I will have done all this work and preparation for nothing? Will he hurl insults at me and I lash back or will I break down and cry and allow him to hurt my feelings? Will I actually be sad when he’s gone? The house will be almost completely empty when he does have everything out. Am I going to go into some deep dark depression or will I be able to maintain my current attitude of “Great, new decorating project?

    OK STOP obsessive thoughts. Get off the crazy train right now !!! I’m doing the right things. I am coming to this site, I am reading posts that are encouraging and supporting, I am reminding myself that he is a sick individual, that I have nothing to fear. That I need to remain calm, collected, composed. That all I need to do is sit back, relax and appear preoccupied while he is here. Let the police handle him. Make NO contact with him. We do not need to communicate. All of his things are in one room. I have the door closed to where mine are and the remainder of the things are in a wide open space so I can see if he does anything to them. If he does bring another woman and it is his next victim, remember, she has NO CLUE and is the same kind hearted sweet person like you are and only knows what he has told her. She’s someone you need to pray for. Your home will be empty but remember this, it is now YOUR HOME and no one else’s. It is NOT the prison you were once held captive in. It is the beginning to your freedom. You can make it whatever you want it to be. When you sit down on YOUR sofa and want to prop up your feet you can. You won’t be told not to put them on HIS table. You will NEVER have to EVER worry another day in your life when someone will decide to send you a text message at any given moment and tell you it’s over then take all your furniture and belongings. All the new household furniture and items you get to replace what he takes today will be yours and what you are about to go through today NEVER will happen again because YOU are about to regain complete control over your life. This isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning so sit back and enjoy the ride.

    Ok, I now feel so much better. Gee, it’s amazing what a little self talk can do. Thanks for letting me share. I just love this site ! You ROCK Tela !!!

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  7. summertime52

    Can a cause and effect of a sociopath relationship be that I could begin acting like him? I mean will I develop “learned behaviors”. He was devious, manipulative, conspiring, intimidating and so evil at times. He just ended the relationship AGAIN and although I am glad he is obviously angry because of this and he did not expect me to have the utilities disconnected which meant he had to leave 3 weeks before the end of the lease and he did not have a place to move.

    I wasn’t trying to be devious. He didn’t pay them anyways. I gave him advance notice. He could have had them reconnected in his name. No one could have stopped him. He just couldn’t afford to do it because he owed all the utility companies from past bills he never paid. I was not going to continue paying his expenses to live when he decides at a moment’s notice he wants to end the relationship, run off with someone else and he needs time to get them a new place to move. I’m ready to move on but he is mad because I FINALLY stood up to him and he is doing everything in his power to make my life a wreck. In the past I would have just gone along with anything to pacify him and now I am finding I am having to act just like him. I have to plot, plan, and scheme, stay one step ahead just to protect myself from anything he might possibly do to try and sabotage me. I NEVER used to be this way before. I think like a criminal now because he acts like one. I NEVER used to be vindictive. He broke into my house, stole my TV, tells lie to his family about me, tells me lies about things. Anything to try and get back at me. Yes, I should press charges for what he does but Dear God, how many times would I be going to court for each thing? So then I do nothing at all and he gets away with it and that’s fine. I count my losses and think he’ll get bored and stop but not him, he just keeps on going and thrives on how much he can do to destroy me. So he took my camera then I took his camera and then I feel like a 4 year old in Pre School!

    I feel like I am becoming just like him and I don’t want to be.

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    • Tela

      Summertime- no!!!! You will not become like him with ‘learned behavior’ this is part of their mind manipulation. You are very well aware of COMPASSION, SYMPATHY & LOVE. Those feelings are more he lacks! You are simply on the Defensive now! Having to defend your words & actions (of which you no longer need to). He is out of your life! Stop the contact and stop defending what you know to be real & true!

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      • summertime52

        Thank you for asking Tela. It means a lot. It went far better than expected with one exception. He had contacted my brother in law to meet him there to help without me knowing or anyone in my family telling me so when I saw him walk through the door I was surprised. He never know him prior to our relationship and they weren’t close friends. They only saw each other at family gatherings which weren’t often. He has a brother and brother in law he could have called. He did bring his nephew. He has plenty of family members and supposedly all these “friends” he used to go visit when he would supposedly disappear for hours at random times. Why did he feel the need to contact someone in my family?

        He knew the police would be there so I am certain he figured it would look very good on his behalf to show that he had the support of my family in helping him move. I’m also sure he wanted to make sure he had the chance to start the smear campaign. God only knows what he told my brother in law. He never said but he’s the verbally and mentally abusive type anyways so I’m sure he had no problems with being there. The police said they suspected he was trying to strengthen ties with my family as a way to remain connected to me somehow. My family is so dysfunctional anyways. When I asked my sister how she thought it made me feel to know my family was supporting my sociopathic abuser who was trying to ruin my life her reply was, “I’m not getting into it”.

        I left afterwards and went to start shopping for the things I have to replace and a few hours later him texted and said, “Very peaceful transition today, thanks!!! Oh and would you please delete my number. Thanks again, wish you the best” I replied, “I guess it was peaceful, there wasn’t a whole lot you could do with a cop sitting here the whole time”. I then told him there were a few more things in the cabinet he forgot and offered to pack them up and leave them at his work, he said no, he would meet me to pick them up. I said no, that was not an option. He then said, just keep them and don’t ever contact me again, if you do, I’ll consider it harassment, agreed? My final text reply was, “Let me advise you that works both ways and includes coming on my property, contacting me through family, friends, social media or “appearing” at any place I may be. You will never have to worry about me contacting you again. Agreed.”
        So to answer your question, my biggest fear/concern for the day was he would take something or damage my property which did neither. He returned all the keys but I had already changed the locks. He got everything out so I can now begin redecorating. This was fantastic. My brother in law being here was not expected but then again, knowing how manipulative he is and how dysfunctional my family is, that doesn’t really surprise me but so much either so no biggie either. The final ending of telling me “NO CONTACT” is the perfect Nirvana. It is the very same thing I had been telling him since he first left on 10/6 but he never adhered to so what is puzzling now is why did he bother to say this now? Did he not hear me all the times I had said this already? Did he feel the need to be the one to say it too so it would make him think he was the one in control and as though he was ending it? So he could “discard”?

        I can never imagine anything with him being that simple. All the break ups in the past never would but just for today he has not contacted me and God knows I have no intentions or reasons to contact him.

        It feels good being able to walk through my house without a trace of him here even though it looks very empty but that won’t be for long. It feels even better knowing he has no legal right to enter or a key to get in the door. This road to recovery is going to be a process. I have a lot of work still yet to do.

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      • Tela

        Having your brother-in-law there was his way of Triangulation. Typical Sociopath maneuver. As far as him and his last text regarding ‘ peace transition…” and almost as an after thought of “oh and delete my number” was his in your face moment. Remember, he has to feel superior to everyone. Let him think he actually did the ‘discard’. You were already one step ahead by disconnecting the utilities. I hope he will not contact you, and I also hope as you transition into being alone, that your thoughts don’t start turning to “all the good times”, or “What if”….the outcome would/will still be the same!! Happy re-decorating! And most importantly, welcome back to finding YOU!! ❤

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