A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Sociopath After Sociopath

A common question people have after a relationship with a Sociopath is “Could I be a Sociopath”? The answer is NO! Because you have been methodically stripped of your mental and emotional well being, you find yourself starting to believe all the horrific things the Sociopath said to you. Because they project all of the insecurities, all of their faults onto you…..you begin to take that on, therefore, you question, ‘am I a Sociopath’.

After these relationships end, be it with a partner or parental, there is deep anger, hurt, confusion etc. So with all of these emotions you have going on at the same time, and a place within you that you never knew existed stripped away, that is why you think ‘could I be a Sociopath’. Your so angry at what they did to you. You are so hurt by the way you were discarded, or the way the other parent does not co-parent. Your heart is void and you can’t seem to find happiness. You think back to arguments and how you were blamed for everything wrong in their life. You think back to inconsistencies in their words & actions, and how YOU would put forth so much effort into ‘fixing’ the relationship. Again~ probably more energy you had to put into someone in your life.

You do not wake up one day in your 30’s-40’s-50’s etc a Sociopath! Period! Sociopath is a learned behaviour & happens in a person’s formative years up until their 20’s. Why this happens? So many reasons, causes etc. There is a part of our brain called the Amygdala.  The amygdala is involved in the processing of emotions such as fear, anger, and pleasure. What memories are stored and where the memories are stored in the brain. It is thought that this determination is based on how huge an emotional response an event invokes. It is believed that this part of the brain that a Sociopath stores the ‘learned behaviour’ all all the traits they carry with them through life.

With all that being said, no, you do NOT become a Sociopath after being with a Sociopath. I do believe however, that you can be a very angry, bitter, non-trusting person. You may even have the ‘victim attitude’ in place….I received 2 comments this weekend that reinforce this. This first comment was made by a person who ‘blogs’ about her ‘personal experience‘ and therefore in a follow up email to me, she states that ‘because she has worked in a homeless shelter and has been involved with not one but TWO Sociopath partner’s, she has far more ‘education’ than myself. Well, first off, if you had already been a victim of a Sociopath one time, chances are you LEARNED from that relationship and know what to look for in a person going forward. So strike one against you. Volunteering in a homeless shelter is wonderful, however, to give ‘professional advice’ because of this volunteering does a serious injustice to people looking for help/answers etc. strike two against you. And lastly, this person does not write under her name, rather a nickname and made reference in her email to me the number of ‘blog hits‘, strike three. Instead of boasting about ‘blog hits’, why not look at your own self and realize that you have been involved with TWO SOCIOPATHS, yet feel you can help another? I think not. This person also had a ‘flying monkey’ make a comment as well.

Comment from Nikki “Hmmm I see what spirit meant when I was told that someone had literally stolen my ideas and my work….. I hope that what they said about karma will come and these people will be dealt with …. is also true. As it caused me a lot of pain. Just so that you know. I had to go through one hell of a lot, and most of what I wrote was written when traumatised. No way would I be able to observe or note the level of detail (even in 2014) as by then I had emotional connection. When I came out of the relationship in 2015, I had to go back to my blog, to heal myself, as I had emotional connection in 2014 – therefore I didn’t remember the level of detail. You should take a look at theft of intellectual copyright laws.”

My response: “Hmmm. Could you be one of those internet trolls? I’m not sure why this email was composed and sent to me. And is very apparent, by visiting your blog site {first time EVER} that you have ZERO education as far as mental illness ~ only “personal experience “. Fair enough, it’s YOUR BLOG. However, not only do I hold my degrees in PYSCHOLOGY, I too, was involved with a horrific Narcissistic a Sociopath, therefore I share your ‘personal pain, trauma etc’.Considering you FALSELY ACCUSE ME of “stealing your work” you obviously have not read my postSmiling face with smiling eyes. And you may want to do some research on copy right laws in the United States and what all entailed for me to be able to copyright my post! 

In the meantime I respectfully ask you not to visit my site, or send hateful FALSE ACCUSATIONS emails. You may also want to be mindful of the way you portray yourself and your ‘educated’ advice. Please be specific that it is ONLY from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, not education!! Have a fabulous day!
She then sent this email this morning ”

Sent: Monday, April 20, 2015 at 8:30 AM
From: “nikki G” <nikkigillett>
To: Taela�� <taelahill@mail.com>
Subject: RE: Blog
I have zero education regarding mental illness? Really, I worked for two decades In the homeless field, worked alongside community mental health teams. I have studied psychology have qualifications in counselling.
I have spent my whole life working with people. But, yes, its just personal experience? What do you think you learn at university? Is that personal experience? What do you think you learn working decades with people? What training do you think you go on during those years at work? 
And so, you hold degree (s) in Psychology – what work experience do you have? As from my experience, I learned far more in the workplace, than I ever did in university.
So, wrong again.
I am sure that my work has accuracy, otherwise it wouldn’t have almost 3 million hits in 2 years.
My reply, as of which I will no longer respond to her:

‘working’ in a homeless shelter does not constitute the ability to give EDUCATED ADVICE to victims. ‘Studying’ pyschology is one thing, having your ENTIRE CAREER treating people with mental illness, counseling victims of a person with mental illness gives me far more ‘experience’ than you. And ‘learning at university’ is so that, unlike you, I give EDUCATED ADVICE, PRESCRIBE MEDICATIONS IF NEED BE, and don’t have a blog based on ‘personal experience’ wrote solely from your personal experience. You are doing a serious injustice to victims. So my ‘WORK PLACE’ is my career!! Get your facts correct!
And how funny to make a comment about your ‘blog hits’, to me, that borders on you having some issues! 

This is a person who is a classic example of an angry, bitter ‘victim’ of a Sociopath. It should not be about ‘blog hits’. If you are giving advice or writing on a public forum, do so in a helpful way. As is stated in the ‘About Me’ page. I don’t write under a ‘nickname’ I, too, was a victim of one of the most horrific Narcissistic Sociopaths on the planet. So yes, I have Personal & Educational Experience and knowledge. It is truly sad when we have been victimized in our personal relationships, and sadder still that a person who claims to want to ‘help people’ in fact attacks and makes seriously false accusations. This is what one of her flying monkey’s posted:

You will never obtain peace. Your life is nothing more than a pathetic mess. How does it feel each morning you wake to know that you are facing the Universe alone? That know one thinks of you and stays as far away from your evilness and person as possible. You are insignificant. That your life is totally meaningless and you offer nothing to the Universe. It would be best that you stay in bed and never leave your house. That would make the Universe glow.
Please be careful when searching the internet for answers, help, guidance etc. There are thousands of blogs, websites etc. There is nothing wrong with people having their blogs to write about their experience, their abuse…it is very helpful to other’s to know they are NOT ALONE. What is hurtful is when a person such a Nikki writes from personal experience, has advertisements all over her page and then attacks other’s, what good is she doing?


5 Responses to “Sociopath After Sociopath”

  1. kimullin76

    For any one who cares to read this blog let me tell you first hand. This blogger has helped me in my darkest hour and only her and i know what is meant by that. She gives her time and effort to help others, Who gives a toss about amount of people viewing you. I needed her i viewed her and she responded and i am sat living and breathing here today with her help and assistance. Great blog great person the rest as they say is history


    • Tela

      Thank you Kimulling76 for your kind comment. AS with every single person who reaches out to me, be it comment/email/sms/phone call I give of my time to that individual. That is why this site is so important to me~ as you said, it’s not about how many ‘views’, it’s knowing at the end of the day, my education, my personal experience has helped ONE person. I do know the horrific path you have and are on…and the sometimes hourly struggle. But look at you now! Another day out of Hell~ another day closer to peace. And I Thank God everyday that you are still here living and breathing…that was a tough weekend, but we {you} made it through alive! Stay strong! Chin Up ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • kimullin76

        Day 30 NC never thought I would say that but I have and I am blogging and I am stronger and stronger every day


    • Helene Berk

      How can someone challenge what you are doing when you write so eloquently and are absolutely on target with EVERYTHING you are writing about? No wonder you are so eloquent… you have the degrees to support the miserable experiences with these “peices of shit” – I have experienced these kind of people my entire life… your insights allow my life to make perfect sense.


      • Tela

        Thank you Helen for you kind comment. There are so many people in our everyday live’s that challenge what we say, write, do etc. Having degrees hanging on the wall does NOT make me superior, it does NOT make my words fit in other people’s heads. The one’s who challenge us, or have negative things to say, are actually lacking something within themselves to want to ‘attack’ via the internet/email. And that make’s me sad for them. We all read things everyday we sometimes do not agree with. We listen to the news {which is so depressing} and do not necessarily agree with what the reporter said. But those of us without ASPD do not lash out, attack etc.


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