A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Trapped

The unbearable feeling of being trapped is very real when involved with a Sociopath. You are trapped emotionally, physically, spiritually and some financially. You are in a perpetual state of semi-comatose. 

How does the entrapment begin? When you met the Sociopath, and the love bombing occurs, you are so encapsulated by this wonderful person, that you are simply listening to the Sociopath, and allowing your head and heart to feel all of their words and actions. The sad thing is, while the pathological lies are spewing out of the Sociopaths mouth, the deceptions you will eventually learn about, the addictions you did not know about in the beginning of the relationship, is when the trap is being set. Imagine a spiders web, all the circles. All those ‘circles’ represent becoming more and more trapped.

Before this entrapment can begin, the Sociopath builds up your self esteem. Garners your trust in them. Tells you things about yourself you have never heard, or even believed, flowery praises. Offers you a world filled with excitement, challenges, bliss, risk taking. In our otherwise ‘normal’ life, here a person comes along and takes us out of our ‘comfort zone’, has all of our free time and attention. You quite simply can do nothing wrong. It is a world of perfection. Happiness beyond any you have known.

During this time, the Narcissistic Sociopath is establishing whom is important in your life, who were your lovers before them, what your pattern of relationships is like. This is very, very important for the Sociopath later to be used during the SMEAR CAMPAIGN .  By telling you about their supposed horrible ex{s}, this is another layer of entrapment being done. You just cannot believe how someone could treat this fabulous person so horrible.  And before you know it, you start planning a life together. The relationship and your thoughts/emotions about the Sociopath are moving at lightening speed.

So what happened? Was the relationship a ‘game’ to the Sociopath. NO! Although, with some Sociopaths, you would think they have a chess board implanted in their heads so they can continue moving their pawns around. Cluster B and ASPD person’s do not have an ability to feel emotions. Period. You experience the fake tears, the I’m sorry. Or even worse “It is all your fault because (________).” You will never get the accountability~ ever! When you finally realized you have been trapped, the following is very normal thought processes:

  • Cognitive Dissonance~ this happens when you have 2 different thoughts about the same thing, ‘this relationship is abusive I need to get out…….I need to stay and make this relationship work. In order to rectify this cognitive dissonance you make excuses or justify the abuser ‘I know they love me, why can’t they show me. They were such a great person in the beginning, if i just stick with it maybe things will change.’
  • Whiplash Effect ~ you are depending heavily on the treatment from the abuser. If your ‘nice’ maybe they will be ‘nice’ The Narcissistic Sociopath becomes the deliverer of good or bad treatment, and when good treatment comes, there is so much hope and relief that the pain is going to end that the you focus on the good times, and ‘conveniently’ numb out the bad times – even dismissing them.’ – therefore creating this Whiplash Effect.
  • Repetitive Compulsion Disorder~ this creates an anxiety addiction. When the Sociopath apologizes for their words or behaviour, you think to yourself ‘finally, they have seen what they are doing and will change’. But then the same repetition begins again, your back in the war-zone, and when they refuse to admit to their lies/behaviour you are needing that ‘fix’ again…which is for them to one more time apologize, make promises  of change, which puts you back into ‘I love this person i can’t live without them’.

I tell people all the time. You, and only You have the ability to stop the above. It will not happen overnight. It will not happen in a week/month/year. You must take that first step out of the trap.

“We are not trapped by our thoughts. What we generally do, however, is create thoughts that trap us.”   joshua david stone

©SociopathLife.Com

5 Responses to “Trapped”

  1. Santaland

    Perfect article describing exactly how it is to be ‘trapped’ coupled with all our reasoning to stay and stick with it. Wrong! I always look back and ponder, wow, those times (so many) when she apologized, promised change in actions, words or behavior…and I accepted thinking ahhh finally they understand. But nope, they don’t, and never will. They repeat the same behavior/actions etc. over and over again.

    You (I was) are dealing with an adult in a 4 year old mind. Be careful, do not touch that, it burns, please do not touch that, stop, do not, it will burn, DO NOT TOUCH THAT, IT WILL BURN YOU, how many times do I have to say be careful etc etc…then it burns, and guess what, it is your fault. As with a child, you suffer their pain even though you pleaded, warned, stated over and over again. Then you have to become the one ‘fixing’ (in the case of a child nurturing the burn) everything…and CD sets in, what could I have done or said differently…nothing, nada, zero. They just do not get it….ever. And if they do, it is an act, a B rated movie.

    So now time has past, my ex moved on to get engaged a couple of years ago within 2 months of the final end. She is now pregnant, poor child, poor partner…so now I will watch from the distance as she tears her partner apart…unless he is a sociopath himself, at which point they implode. But what about the new victim, the child. Oh well, sorry to say, not my business or problem.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you SantaLand for your comment. The correlation you state ‘an adult in a 4 year old mind’ is spot on! I call it terminal adolescence.
      Extremely saddening that an innocent child is going to be brought into her Sociopath life, very heartbreaking. Yes, you have to watch from a distance, and feel helpless. Because you KNOW what her partner is experiencing, {however, as you said, maybe he is a Sociopath as well}??? I do not know, but I do know you have come a very long way from the horrific abuse/manipulation/anger/damage etc.

      For those of you who have not read about SantaLand life with a Sociopath, you can read his partial story HERE

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Santaland

        Tela, it is your site, you and naturally others who have contributed that have made my way OUT with a little dignity left, some financial loses, coupled with the smear campaign. So I thank you Tela, and humbly bow to others who tell their stories, give advice…yes advice…because we see it clearly, not that we wanted to. but forced to face reality versus bullshit.

        These types male/female will eat your soul, spit on your corpse…and then say I love you…or best…your fault ultimately. Get out and stay out. Tela did. I did, so can you! Thanks Tela…you truly are remarkable.

        And for those who do not know…well, Tela does this out of experience, compassion, empathy and lots more. Thank you Tela…et al. You can visit a shrink, but they will take your money…this site makes you realize the truth, accept it, move forward, be strong and rebuild what was taken from you.

        Forget the excuses, they work for a while, but then you are delusional. These types never change and do not believe a word they say. Never.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. ifonlymommy

    All of this is completely true. It’s so hard to believe I allowed someone to fool me like this. Worse than that I married and had children with this man. It’s a constant up hill battle but at least we are not together anymore. Protecting our children from his mind tricks is difficult. They have just had to learn very early that life isn’t fair and not all parents do the right things. Loving unconditionally isn’t a Cluster B trait. Not even for their children.

    Great article.

    Like

    Reply
  3. Jenna

    Great article and I can so relate. The destruction to the victim is so horrible.

    Like

    Reply

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