A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Walking Thru The Fog

Imagine Fog….heavy, thick Fog. You can see it, but you cannot walk around it, over it, or run from it.

Sounds like being involved with a Sociopath right? I am using the correlation of Fog to a Sociopath, because if you really think about it, a Sociopath is just like Fog. No sustenance, no feeling, eventually dissipates, and does nothing for us.

When you are in the depths of the hellish relationship with a Sociopath, and even the aftermath of that hell; you’ll  find yourself in a different kind of ‘fog’. Your mind is cloudy, raging emotions, uncontrollable fear/anger/sadness/hopelessness. And the most damaging of all? The constant thoughts of the Ex. Wanting them to call or text. Telling you how sorry, not sorry  for hurting you, professing ‘LOVE’ and everything the Sociopath knows you want to hear.  You wait for that call because maybe you want to ‘call them out on what they have done’, or ‘beg them to come back’, even worse..‘forgive them’.

I will tell you, if you are searching the internet because you know there is something wrong with your relationship, or trying to figure out what happened to you, or what is wrong with my partner my first question would be: why do you want to be back with someone who has treated you so horribly? And I sometimes get the proverbial: because I LOVE them.  Just because YOU love/loved them, does not mean they HAVE to, SHOULD, or WILL love you. I know that sounds a bit harsh. And this is your reality check! The Narcissistic Sociopath that you had the misfortune of meeting is NOT going to love you, be kind, tell the damn truth, be faithful, be trustworthy, or be any of the characteristics you want in a partner. So when you say “because I LOVE them”. What do you actually love? Think about that? It is NOT love. It was in the beginning….what did it turn into?

It has turned into you searching for answers, searching for validation, searching for something or someone who can tell you exactly what is wrong! And that in and of itself should tell you, ‘I need to get away from this person’. But….there are kids involved, or financial reasons. Oftentimes it comes down to TRAUMA BOND,  No so easy to get away from the ‘fog’ right?

Eventually, in time, you will be able to. However, ONLY if you want it. Not because the Sociopath calls or text flowery bullshit words that makes you think ‘ok, this is the last time this will happen’. Or you find out they are back onto the online sociopath cesspool dating sites, and you confront them and then the flowery bullshit promises ‘I won’t do it again’. The back and forth of war with words, blocking and unblocking on your phone, stalking on social media. How is any of that LOVE???? I call that Lethal Love, you can read about it HERE

How many times do you need to walk in a perpetual state of Fog? Why do you let consuming thoughts of Karma rule the day? Yes you’re angry, I get that. Hurt? Abundantly so! When you take all the trauma, hurt, and consuming non-beneficial thought’s, that is what will keep you in this thick, heavy, dense fog. Nothing makes sense. Anxiety and depression have set in. Isolation, feelings that nobody understands {they probably do not}. Trapped. With a Narcissistic Sociopath, you are the one who can control whether or not to be in The Fog.

“Don’t let the agony, regret, or fog of yesterday blind you to the fact that each new day carries with it a plethora of opportunities to move your life into the right direction.”   steve maraboli

©SociopathLife.Com

side notes:

-if you are new to my website, I suggest you read these posts. TRAITS and RED FLAGS

-if you are going to send me an email, please read THIS.

7 Responses to “Walking Thru The Fog”

  1. Janet

    What I find the toughest part to this day, is the insults and emotional abuse I re-live in my mind all too often, like a bad B movie. I’ve tried really hard to rebuild my rocky self esteem, and thats worked well, over all for me. I’ve had many successes and empowering moments, since that dark time, and I am happy now. But, still when i remember the horrible put downs and the people who joined in with him back then, some people I thought were friends even, well it still pains me emotionaly. I dont want to be with him anymore, it’s not that at all. I cant imagine allowing anyone to treat me that way ever again, and to settle for so little. Hes also a complete disaster, and so much worse off than me now. I should be pleased about that. He really got served his karma in spades. I truely learned my lesson about my worth too, and about mean people in general. Who needs them? Not me! Im very happy with my husband and I love feeling secure and protected now. I have a good life and feel lucky. It’s more, like he got into the deepest most humiliating depths of my emotions, and just trashed me, to me, and to everyone else who would listen. Its traumatised me profoundly. No one else ever did that to me before him, nobody that I had let in and had let my guard down to. If i could change one thing now, it would be to take that power away from him, for good. And give it back, squarely to me. That’s my major goal now. I feel terrible for all who have suffered in this way. I really understand your pain, because Ive felt it too. I’m so grateful I survived it though, and that I didn’t destroy my life over it. I came so very close to doing just that.

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  2. Corey

    This is very good! I want her out of my mind for good! I work alot stay busy all the time! I have made myself better, since being discarded like trash! I have been away from her for over a year now, but every now and then I think about all the abuse I went through. The sex was great, I knew she was bad news when I was with her, but I stayed because I loved her. Now I know what was wrong with her. I really never knew what a sociopath or a narcissist was until her. If I saw her again I really do not know how I would handle it. But I do wish I could go back and change things. But I can’t ! My question is do they come back later on? I mean years later? Also for what reason would it be? Thank you

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    • Santaland

      Hi Corey, all I can do is share…I am over two years out and away from IT. Time heals, this I promise you. All you said above is valid and true. And again we are curious based on your queries. Tela’s site answers all your questions, read and educate yourself.

      1. If I saw her again…if you do, walk away, do not stare or look at her, get a glimpse and keep moving. Anything you do will be perceived as ‘ha, look he still is hooked, loser, what can I take from him, does he have anything else etc’ so Corey, move on and away from being in her presences…and if confronted, say and give nothing about yourself…they read you like a radar.

      2. Do they come back…some do and some don’t. They are unpredictable. But if they do come back, it is only to take whatever is left of you. Think about a pathological liar…how are you? Great. First lie, they are not great, they say great, but they lie. Count your blessings if she does not come back.

      3. For what reason…see above. They have a history of victims along their path, then you, and now the future victim or victims. You were special, well so was everyone else. In other words they have a modus operandi which works on some people (like you and me…and others) thus they become expert manipulators using words and sex…telling you that you are the best, yep the best she has ever had (for the moment). Trust me, the exact same words and actions are being used on the current and future victims…yes there will be future.

      Bottom line, clean up the mess they created and left you with. Love yourself and love will find you. Do not waste anymore time on this…IT.

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      • Janet

        Good advice! I think for the people who are still pining for the sociopath, they’ve got to remember, it didn’t work out for a very good reason. They aren’t normal or capeable of it, so nothing good will come of going back in for another try at it again. If they were normal, it would have worked out or you would have gotton out of it with your sanity in tact and some self respect. Of course, some will have to learn that the hard way. I was one of those, and I was confused too, because he said he was a major commitment phobe, and it wasn’t until I went rhrough a horrendous break up for the third time, that I ended up realizing, it was so much worse than that, even. I had been trying to mean something to someone who only wanted to trick me and win. He wasn’t some loveable guy with problems at all.

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  3. AlohaLover

    Great quote and fog is a really good correlation to being involved with a Sociopath. Fog, like a Sociopath is all consuming. You may not see it but it get on everything, attaches to everything. And then it’s gone…..but it eventually comes back to further attach to you or claim more victims. I was in the Fog for a long time. I never thought I would ever see a normal day. Once I realized I wasn’t the only one, once I put a name to what I was involved with, it was then and only then, I clawed my way out of the Fog, out of Hell to a steady and normal mindset. But it took awhile. I live in gratitude everyday that I found Tela and this site and I am almost 3 years out of Hell.
    Hang in there. You’re not alone. Fight the Fog.

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    • Tela

      Thank you ALohaLover for your comment. What a great way of saying ‘it attaches to everything’! Yes, a Sociopath is:
      dense, sticking, annoying, disruptive. So many analogies could be used.
      You have come so far on your journey of healing!
      xo

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    • Santaland

      And AlohaLover, if I may dovetail on your post…trust your instincts to navigate your way through the fog

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