A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Why Me

If this is your first visit to my site, Welcome!  Welcome to a place of safety, non-judgement and a place to start healing.  A place where others, many others, have been right where you are at this very moment.  A place of hurt, confusion, tears, heartache, and so much more. 

By being here, right now, you have taken the first step to a new you.  I promise you, the pain, confusion,  and despair you are feeling right now will lessen with time. Take it one moment at a time.  What you are going through is unlike anything you have ever been through in your life.  There will be people who will say “Move on”, “It’s time to let it go”.  I can tell you firsthand; this ‘break-up’ is unlike any other you have ever experienced.  It blindsides you, it makes you second guess your thoughts, emotions and actions.  It confuses you to a point of not knowing fact from fiction.  One moment you felt loved and secure and the next you have been discarded like trash. 

It’s very normal for your world to be perfect and the next hour it’s as though an explosion has rocked your world.  The most important thing to remember, it’s NOT YOU.  You had nothing to do with the sociopath’s decision to discard you. The next thing to remember and I said before and will continue to say it “ you will get through this”.

Every new person to this life change, should be aware of what they might expect in the coming moments to months.

You may have any one to all of the following thoughts and emotions:

  • Confusion
  • Shock
  • Loss of self worth
  • Feeling you could have prevented the break-up
  • Weight loss or gain.
  • Deep heartache
  • Anger
  • Buckets of tears
  • Feeling like you’re in mourning
  • Revenge
  • Fear
  • Feeling of dread
  • Not wanting to get out of bed
  • Hide from the world
  • Abused
  • Betrayal
  • Still in love with the Sociopath
  • The need to call and try to make him see how much you and he / she belong together. DON’T DO IT!
  • Thoughts and feelings are different for everyone.
  • Paralyzing Pain: This is an excellent article

In the first few days to weeks, you will want to contact the ex.  Don’t do it.  It will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do but don’t contact them!!!!  All the progress, as little as it may be, will set you back and you’ll have to start all over again only this time, the sociopath may start smearing your name to mutual friends or family.  The sociopath will absolutely do it to the person or persons they are seeing. You become the crazy ex.  Remember…..IT’S NOT YOU!

I invite you to peruse my site at your own pace. Look at the different topics. Some may resonate with you and others may not or may not yet.  The most important thing to do is take care of you.  Keep healthy. As hard as that is, you must put you first!

Post what you’d like and know you are not alone and you’ll get an answer either from me or from someone else that has been right where you are. Read the comments under the post’s, you will most likely be able to relate to them. Read the post under the ‘Sharing Page’.

 Trust me….  You will get through this.  I promise.

@SociopathLife.com        @DG

9 Responses to “Why Me”

  1. Di Hard

    ~ Action over Answers ~
    The prison guard pulled me aside and asked…
    “Why are you seeing this clown ?”
    I replied… “Because I want answers !
    How can he say he loves me and then turn around and do “that”?
    The guard then commented… “Don’t you know you’ll never get the answers?
    Even if you put a gun to his head … he has no idea why he does what he does..
    And…
    If you pull the trigger… the only thing you’ll know is… you never got an answer.”

    Like a flood victim, I didn’t seek refuge in another home that’s under water .
    I had to go to higher ground. To a safe warm place where rescuers could help me.
    I needed people and professionals who knew my mental torment.
    The best thing I did was… block all his calls, texts & emails.
    I started describing his “behaviors ” to others I trusted;
    instead of labeling him a Sociopath .

    The “No Contact” was like putting the drink down for an alcoholic.
    In other words… nothing could get better or heal as long as I
    Continued my addictive behaviors.

    It has been 2 yrs and 2months now.
    Having been with a Sociopath makes being by myself a real pleasure .
    Geese … I don’t even care about dating because I’m so happy to be out of
    HELL !!!
    I also stopped connecting with mutual friends.
    It just wasn’t worth the risk.
    Yep, their company was my misery .
    I hope this helps someone out there who is still struggling.
    Signed,
    -Di Hard
    PS. My life on many other levels has gotten better than I could
    Imagine… I just wanted to stick to the basics for now.
    Oh yeah… I have 18+ Yrs of Sobriety.

    Like

    Reply
  2. AlohaLover

    @ Rosie ….First things first. Before you read what I’m about to write, do me a favor. Stand up and dance like you just made the winning play in the Super Bowl…..why? Because you have survived 8 months of no contact! That is HUGE and you should be so proud of yourself. You made it further than I did when I first arrived to this site. I arrived 4.22.2014. I am almost at 3 years. Everything you are saying; moving forward, don’t want to waste…I didn’t say those things until January of 2016. It took me a good 2 years to feel normal or my new normal. You are doing awesome.

    What you are experiencing is very normal especially around the Holidays. Maybe you start to remember the EX, the good times, the ILLUSION of who you thought he was. When I started to feel like that, I would whip out a piece of paper and list all the vile things he did to me and how I felt, how he controlled me, how he refused to take me to the ER when I clearly needed to go, how he would turn the story around to make it seem like I was wrong, like I was crazy. Rosie, YOU ARE PERFECT. It’s not about you….it’s all HIM. I feel we all backslide and that is normal, the important thing to remember NO CONTACT. Once you break that, you start all over again. I feel it’s almost like an addiction. I, you, the next person is addicted to the Sociopath because they are charming, they are everything you want them to be. They feed the need, the addiction. Once you contact them, they will make you think they want you and then they will discard you again or they will bad mouth you to anyone and everyone and you become the crazy EX.
    Even if he contacts you, don’t answer him. Block / Delete him or change your number. Stay fierce. You have the power….don’t give it up.
    If you have a weak moment write a note to this site, someone will answer you and encourage you. And always remember, he will ALWAYS be a Sociopath. No pill can help him….nothing. That gets me through rough times too.

    Stay strong and NO CONTACT.

    Like

    Reply
    • Rosie

      AlohaLover – thank you, thank you so much for your encouragement! You have no idea how much it means to me. I have gone through all this alone, and what a strange, sad journey it has been. I love your suggestion of making a list of all the things the ex did or said to hurt me, what a perfect antidote to combat the melancholy feelings that I have been experiencing lately. Brilliant! And I plan to stick to no contact like grim death, I figure it’s the only way I can get the last word in. Let my silence tell him how I feel. Not that he cares, right? Thanks again for your wise words, you rock! xx And thank you Tela , for providing a place for us to get help and understanding. xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • AlohaLover

        Rosie, I just thought of something else that kept me focused and strong. Pinterest. Create a private and make certain it’s private, board name it whatever you’d like and then search for sociopath quotes, or narcissistic quotes. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find. Also Instagram has a site called narcissistrecovery and they have a lot of quotes.

        I suggest a private board because the Ex would stalk me and then put up boards looking like I put them up and target me name and all. In case you don’t know, that is called a Smear Campaign. It may or may not happy to you but be ready if it does. Tela has a topic on it….read it. If it does happen, write to the site before you do anything. We’ve all been there.
        Stay Fierce!

        Like

    • Rosie

      AlohaLover, thank you for the suggestions! A big plus is they will help keep me busy and give me something else to think about. Hugs to you!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Rosie

    This is a rather random comment, but is anybody else struggling with the pain and hurt coming back due to the holiday season? Its been 8 months no contact on my part, the ex moved on instantly with a new woman, I don’t want him back at all. But I seem to be back sliding on my healing here at Christmas time, is that a typical reaction? I was doing better till recently. Sometimes I feel like I am slowly going crazy. Ugh

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Tela

      Yes Rosie! I will have AlohaLover give you her experience during this time period. It’s completely normal (sadly) to be struggling during this supposed joyful season. Hang in there!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Rosie

        Thank you Tela, for responding! I have been feeling disappointed in myself, I just want it all to be over and in the rear view mirror, keep thinking by now it should be. I don’t want to waste another year digging up bones, 2017 should be a fresh new start for all of us

        Liked by 1 person

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