A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Time To Run

At what point is enough, enough when your involved with a Narcissistic Sociopath?

You are completely and utterly an emotional disaster. Your life is ‘ruined’. Friends and family may tell you ‘just leave’, or ‘what’s the big deal get over it’. Ahhhh, if only so easy. I have said it numerous times, that unless a person has been involved with a Sociopath, they have no idea of the abuse you have endured. From the silent treatmentto mental and emotional abuse, some even physical abuse. And always the Smear Campaign

Some Narcissistic Sociopaths  have to make themselves feel bigger by convincing themselves others are smaller by comparison. They’re no strangers to being condescending, snobby, clique-ish, elitist and superior; however, they are very good at hiding their disdain. Narcissistic Sociopaths with money look down on the working class. Sociopaths in the working class look down on those with more money. Educated Sociopaths dismiss the opinions of those who have no degree. Sociopaths with no degree claim educated people don’t actually know anything. Whatever Sociopaths HAVE (or think they have) is what they use to look down on others WITH. No-one else’s background, appearance, values, political persuasion, school, preferences, religion, way of life, profession or opinions are ever any good or worthy of their respect unless they themselves value and/or possess the same {which is very, very rare}. If you think or choose differently from a Sociopath, you’re “wrong”, and they’re “right”.

If you dare to question a Sociopath or request things like healthy boundaries and honesty, you’re going to become public enemy number one. The “Mr. or Ms. Wonderful” mask immediately comes off, and there is no level they will not stoop to in order to “punish” you. They have myriad ways of attempting this; some are covert, and some are open and obvious. The Sociopath has a seemingly inexhaustible obsession for making people who cross them “pay”. And here is where the confusion comes into play; ‘what did I do to deserve this? What did I do to deserve the way they are treating me’…… Once they set their sights on you, you’re a permanent enemy, and their seething spite will feel as intense years down the road as it did when it first began. The length of time they can keep up the full intensity of their hatred for you and their campaign to exact revenge is absolutely dumbfounding to non-narcissistic Sociopath people.

So how do you ‘run’? How do you go from the Love Bombing to running for your life? Look at the catastrophic effect this person has had on your life!  What did the Sociopath do for you that it anyway inconvenienced them? Do you really see them as ‘changing’ when you hear the ‘I’m sorry’, or ‘let’s try again, I miss you” or the thousands of lies said to draw you back in.  Start paying attention to YOUR own life.  It is empowering, when you realize and accept, that nothing, absolutely nothing you say/do/give/take will change the Sociopath. Give them the silent treatment. That mean’s NO CONTACT! PERIODTake control. Take your life back. Stop worrying about what they are doing, and who they are doing it with. You cannot stop them! You cannot change them, and what does that bring to your life? More hurt, more anger, more disappointment, more (________) fill in the blank.


grace given when it feels least deserved is the only antidote for bitterness


13 Responses to “Time To Run”

  1. vanessa walters

    I recently had a major fright; I was at my church (which I rejoined last year, after his parents were both gone and he was gone)..saw his brother and wife, thought to go visit with THEM and behind them was HIM and his current wife..I froze..on my birthday day yet..the church sang Happy Birthday to me..and I sat in church a shaking, nervous wreck..hung out in front of altar after services until he, her and they had all left. Took me part of the day to get over that..now I have to speculate whether or not, he and wife will return. The LAST place in this area I thought I’d have to run into HIM. Flashback city..


  2. Deb Private

    Dear Tela

    Its been some time since I received one of these and I don’t know if you remember me but you helped me a lot. I had the name of Dee. I just wanted to say thanks a lot as you really helped me and I managed to get that sociopath out of my life. I do remember you saying that any kind of donation would be appreciated but at the time I had no money. I would like to follow through on that now. Don’t get too excited as its not much, but its something.

    Lastly, I have almost finished writing my book about my whole experience and I did write a very small part about speaking with you and mentioned your name but not the website (unless you would like to)and wanted to make sure thats okay.

    Debbie >

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tela

      Hi Debbie! Yes it has been some time since I posted. I actually fractured my spine playing fetch with my Labrador, who didn’t put the breaks on when she was bringing the ball back to me! LOL
      Three surgeries later, and now I am back!
      I can tell by the tone of your comment you have come a very long way in your healing! I am so very proud of you. I remember the desperation you had just trying to get through one day! The emotional Hell you could not escape from. And now?……….you have found YOU!
      I look forward to reading your book, as I know it will help so many. Especially when it comes from first person experience! And yes, you may mention my website.
      Please stay in touch. And help other’s, with comment’s, that are where you were, and who are struggling to make it through today!


  3. Santaland

    Welcome back Tela! In sum, we boarded a train, unbeknownst that this train was and is a train wreck. Certainly if may de-rail en route, but it is a train wreck. So make the choice, get ready to jump, the fall will hurt, be bumpy, you will be scared, and time will heal. Just do not look back…that train is doomed. And anything it is carrying or crosses its path, good luck. Pick yourself up, and begin the trek to recovery. As Tela said, do not worry about what they think or are doing…not worth the effort. You are worth the effort. No contact…and if contact is unavoidable, look the other way, think of something else you are doing or have to do. They will glare at you, smear you, but keep on trekking…eventually their smear campaign will go away…time, no contact, indifference, and take care of yourself…read, develop and learn.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tela

      SantaLand, yes, your analogy of a doomed train is perfect. We jump on board with the ‘love of our life’, only to go for the Ride to Hell!
      Getting off that doomed trained is the first step. Recovering from that life of Hell is a terribly painful path!


  4. Tray

    Many years seperated but still have the boss she left me for so, not quite a clean sever. He discusses family life with all our co-workers. Anyway, only recently have Icome across nutritional support that may help many victims of narcissist sociopath’s.
    Adrenal gland fatigue is a very real problem for those on a relationship roller coaster
    Particularly if the ride has lasted for years and cost you finances or relationships with other loved ones.
    A chance box of books at a garage sale turned up one written by a Dr Wilson, who offers nutritional and emotional support which I find accurate so far.
    Most importantly, those still under the spell of a sociopath need the energy to resist and become healthy as maybe never before ( what made us susceptible to them in the first place?)
    Google search my friends and invest a tiny amount into your future, do it for yourself and do it for the loved ones who are saddened by your suffering the sociopath’s reality.


    • Tela

      Thank you Tray for your comment. Nutrition is always important. For the female reader’s that have been obliterated by a Sociopath, I recommend reading A Mind of Your Own.
      As far as your comment ‘what made us susceptible to them in the first place’, how could you, or anyone believe what was going to happen to them when they met The One? Who obviously was not.
      It is not about being ‘susceptible’, it is about trust. It is about not having a Personality Disorder, it is about a thousand things/emotions/social setting, etc. Not one victim of a Sociopath should feel they were or are ‘susceptible’.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Pippa

    I felt every line of this was for my ex husband. Now he’s trying to get back in our lives and NO CONTACT of any kind is making him bored. So he’ll be gone again soon. NO CONTACT has given me my life back. These posts are awesome. Best advice ever!


  6. laurelwolfelives

    Great post. How true these things are for so many of us who have been subjected to a narcissistic sociopath.
    I divorced mine…got as much from him as I possibly could and broke all contact. Even though we share four grown children, they chose him and his WTC, which is actually okay. With no contact with them, he can’t “keep tabs” on me.
    I wish him the worst luck in the world. LOL (After destroying my life, what does he expect?)


  7. Lee

    Excellent article…your summation is spot on….no CONTACT is key..I was caught up with a female sociopath, but after several months of therapy , I extricated myself and moved past the sociopath drama..I totally ignore her…..that does kind of piss her off…she doesn’t comprehend how I found out who she was, and I gained knowledge which of course is “POWER”…and now I have been able to use this to my advantage….thx ….Lee

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tela

      Thank you Lee for your comment. Yes, No Contact truly is the key. For those who have to co-parent, obviously there has to be contact. It is having the ability to put boundaries in place for yourself.
      And ignoring her, I am sure makes her angry/pissed off etc. That is you rejecting her, and Sociopaths cannot handle rejection.



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