A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Am I Crazy?

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When you are involved with a Sociopath, or apart, how many times do you ask yourself Am I Crazy?

This questioning of yourself is because of the constant mind conditioning done from the Sociopath. Try having a ‘normal’ conversation with them? It turns into a war-with-words, Am I Crazy? The Sociopath tells you all the things wrong with YOU…….Am I Crazy? You are told ‘you will never find someone to put up with you. Your fat, lazy, disgusting, uncaring, abusive, ….Am I Crazy?

Your waking hours are spent over the months and year’s spent with the Sociopath questioning….Am I Crazy?  Everything you poured into the relationship, unconditional love, compassion, begging for normalcy ……Am I Crazy? The thousands of times of forgiveness, only to fall back into their trap of lies, deceit, cheating, and you forgave……Am I Crazy? You decide to go NO CONTACT, and break that for various reasons, mostly because you WANT to believe they have changed…..Am I Crazy? Why can you not let go? Why is the pain so deep, why are their words ringing as truth in your head? Am I Crazy? The answer to those 2 questions are, most of you have never encountered a person who could make you feel on top of the world one day, and then crash you down so hard, so fast that you don’t even know who you are now….Am I Crazy?

You are left emotionally and mentally abandoned, and you cannot understand how that happened, so the question you keep asking is, Am I crazy? You let a person have total control over you, fed into their lies, believed the I’m sorry, you loved this person like no other, yet now you are destroyed….Am I Crazy? The guilt you carry because of the breakdown of the relationship {because YOU were blamed} for any and everything, and you carry those words with you……Am I Crazy? You know the Sociopath was cheating and yet, you let them back in your life……Am I Crazy?

What you need to understand is, you never ‘had’ this person to begin with. From day one the Sociopath only wanted to be worshiped and adored. Taking everything good, kind, successful from you to sustain their grandiose delusional image they have.  Their lies, their words, their behavior was all very calculated~ daily! This ARTICLE explains how the relationship went from fabulous to fucked-up. There are multi layers of pain when dealing with a Sociopath. A common one that is hard to reconcile, accept and throw away is how easily they move on. How easily they became the true Sociopath they are, they absolutely rocked your world into…..Am I Crazy? When they are out of your home, you start to find out more and more about what was happening during the whole time with them….. Am I Crazy? Why did I not see what they were doing? How could I have been so blind to their dual lives? How was I so blind to the silent mental and emotional abuse done, DAILY to me, and why did I not get out sooner? Am I Crazy? 

No! Absolutely, emphatically NO, you are not crazy! You have just encountered a walking/talking/breathing no conscious, person. That is what is so hard to understand as you can think of times when things were ‘normal’…..but were they really? Or were you being silently conditioned so that the relationship to YOU appeared ‘normal’? A Sociopath has zero remorse for what they have done to you, your children, anyone. They truly lack the ability to see that there is something truly wrong with them. They live in a constant state of denial, they are the one’s who are slowly dying and living in hell on earth. Imagine not knowing what it is to feel love, feel remorse, feel compassion. Can you imagine not having those feelings? No…as you do and that is why it is so terribly difficult to stop asking yourself Am I Crazy?

“7 things Sociopaths will do to you. They will…
1. Demean your value;
2. Destroy your image
3. Drive you crazily!
4. Dispose your dreams!
5. Discredit your imagination!
6. Deframe your abilities and
7. Disbelieve your opinions!    israelmore ayivor

©SociopathLife.Com

14 Responses to “Am I Crazy?”

  1. Davjd

    First of all, this site is such a wonderful blessing. I feel like, after 15 years of marriage to a socio, that i could have written half (or more) of these articles myself! I have often wondered “am i the crazy one?” After a 5 month separation, not no contact, I see her for what she truly is now, and i still ask myself sometimes “am i the crazy one?” Did i follow up on some of her stories? Yes. She claims i am possessive and she needs her space, and i should respect her privacy. I am the verbally abusive one. I manipulate HER emotions. I am sneaky and underhanded. And so on. Our divorce process started today, hallelujah, and even though i got healthier each day we were apart, i am still overjoyed because i can see even more light at the end of the tunnell. It’s a long, sad story, but it is getting better by the day. Thanks again for this wonderful and insightful website.

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  2. ellie

    ive just sat and got my thoughts out here after thinking im paranoid that he may of hacked my laptop he gave me …and as i was about to post it its disappeared …!!! his phycological warfare had a effect but knowledge is power for both partys …they make u mad so they can keep the mask …after all who would believe a crazy woman ?

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  3. Dear You | SociopathHell.Com

    […] me question my own self-worth, my sanity and even ask myself ‘what is wrong with me’? Am I Crazy What have I done wrong? Dear, You, who spoon fed me your POISON under the guise of making me think […]

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  4. Phyllis

    I am a youthful 65 year old woman. 3 years ago, I met this “adventurer” on Match.Com. I was immediately taken by his charm and good looks. The adventures began immediately: 1800 bike ride through France, and two 6 month sea voyage to Bahamas in “our” sailboat. He proposed early in the relationship, and I agreed to be “eternally” engaged due to lack of financial planning for older age. Eventually, (the 3rd year) we did set a date for a small wedding. He got the officiate ,the rings, and helped picked out my dress. Long story short… I uncovered (by reading his journal) that he was planning on sailing away prior to the wedding date without letting me know. He actually wrote me a “Dear John” letter in the journal. I am devastated. He did tell me he had always felt he had narcissistic sociopathic tendencies. He has had multiple relationships which seemed to be base on convenience and benefits to him,and he has left them without any warning. I thought that at our age, he would be different. He has no friends, has held many professional jobs, gets easily bored with living on land, and wants constant adventure in his life. He sets sails in the a.m. and I am left feeling distraught and DYING to ask him why?????? Will he miss me????? This article stopped me cold. How do you recover from such pain?

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  5. mandy

    Tela, that word “conditioned” really hits home to what I’m only FINALLY getting. And when you’ve had childhood abuse, conditioning because such a natural thing that if someone tells you you’re crap you’re automatically like “Oh Yeah, I am!” Unlearning it takes some doing and your posts help a lot. Thank you ❤

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  6. Santaland

    Yes we were crazy!!!! And for those still in it, you are going to be crazy until you wake up. Crazy for putting up with their abuse, lies, cheating, manipulations, gaslighting, drama, and the list goes on. So yes we were crazy to tolerate and believe such empty souls who as Tela indicated….can love you like not other and trash you like no other with a flip of the wrist (or mood change). For those who remain with a soicopath, yes you are crazy. For those who got out, welcome to sanity and reality. For those feeling the sociopath perhaps was right, perhaps will change, perhaps nothing. Well then perhaps you are crazy. So stop…be honest with yourself and say…I am not crazy! Your are you venoms empty shell of a person…and walk away with pride.

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  7. Frank L.

    I didn’t know you knew my “Ex wife” personally!! Everything!! you wrote hits the nail on the head. I’ve been reading this site for months and it all rings so true. In the normal mind it’s difficult to understand how a person can be so cruel, so malicious, uncaring, deceitful, manipulative, secretive, belittling, controlling and threatening, and somehow, manage to turn it around on YOU! She claimed that I was everything she “was”. And nobody saw through it and I suffered unbelievably for it. Even after one year since the divorce I am still getting repercussions from it. My story goes a little deeper than others that have been shamed, humiliated and destroyed by their Sociopath, mine went as far as taking the twisted mind of hers onto national TV to shame, humiliate, lie, deceit, and destroy me to millions of people. That’s a hard thing to get over!! If you’re interested in hearing that story email me.

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      • Tela

        Thank you The Lover Without A Lover for your comment. This article was written for everyone who visits my website looking for answers/understanding and eventually healing. Any person who has been involved with a Sociopath {Psychopath/Narcissist} has had levels of abuse done to them. You can read about me HERE.

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    • Tela

      Thank you Frank for your comment. Yes, it is hard to comprehend how ‘she’ could traumatize/abuse and be so malicious, and nobody seeing it. That is the abuse society in a whole cannot and truly does not care to do anything about. It’s one thing to have physical ‘evidence’, but when a Sociopath set’s out on a mission to destroy your core character, and in such an ‘innocent’ way, that is what is hard to recover from. If you would like to share your story, you can email me at, TaelaHill@mail.com

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    • David

      How long were you married? I aould love to hear more of your story and your healing. My divorce started today. This article hit way close to home for me, also!

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