A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

The Circus

The Sociopath circus has come to town! You are so excited, so happy, filled with excitement on what is in store. Little did you know this Circus was going to take you to Hell.

A Sociopath Circus comes into your life as the most amazing/incredible/beautiful person you have ever encountered. The outgoing personality, the incredible sex, the words you have always wanted to hear a lover say to you. The Circus is so overwhelming that at times you cannot keep up with it because you are “so in love”.  All you ‘see’ is how terrific this person is, all you ‘feel’ is the love that has been missing from your life, all you ‘focus’ on is  being caught up in the excitement of the Sociopath Circus.

Then you wake up one day, and the Circus now has let loose of the animals. There are elephants in the room, there are skeletons in the closet, there is the joker who is constantly lying, manipulating and emotionally abusing you. There is the woman with the crystal ball telling you “you are a liar, you have made the Circus hell, you are the cheater, you are ruining the Sociopath’s life”, then there are the Flying Monkey’s that come out and start telling family and friends how fucked up YOU are. The lion comes out of the cage and all it wants to do is daily and methodically ‘attack’ your mind, ‘attack’ your self-worth, self-esteem. Then the clown appears to laugh at your tears, to make fun of your heartbreak and disappointment. The little dogs are out and you are jumping through hoops to keep the Sociopath happy. You are now apart of the circus walking the tightrope, trying to avoid confrontation. The jugglers come out and you cannot keep up with the words and actions of the Sociopath circus, your head is spinning because this Sociopath Circus has you crazy!!!

How do you get out of this Sociopath Circus? As I’ve said so many times: NO CONTACTI know you have tried, and failed at the no contact multiple times. But look at it from this prospective. Each and every time, either YOU or the Sociopath reaches out and makes contact, you are feeding the Sociopath Circus animals. The elephant in the room represents all the bullshit {mask that slipped} of truly what the person is, A Sociopath! The woman with the crystal ball represents the HEAD FUCKERY & I’M SORRY done to you. Example “please forgive me, I promise I have changed and want to use work this out.” The clowns in the Sociopath Circus represent the POISON you were given during this circus. The tightrope represents you walking around an ever moving Sociopath mine-field, not knowing where to step or what to say. Stop feeding the anmials!

Yes! You are hurt, pissed off, disillusioned, confused, heartbroken and a whole barrage of emotions.  Totally and completely acceptable. What is not acceptable is, if you keep reaching your hand out to feed the Sociopath Circus animals only to have it bit off, and there you are, back at square one. Please understand, the Sociopath Circus moves around all the time. Either from one person to the next, or one animal comes out at a time, or they do their classic DISAPPEARING ACTYou truly do have the strength to walk away from this Hell of a Circus. How much more of yourself can you ‘feed’ to the Sociopath? Sure, you will miss the circus, you will remember the beginning, the excitement and so on. But just like a real life circus, it only stays around for a short period of time.

Get your head and heart on the same page. Get your feelings out, don’t fool yourself into thinking you can change any of the animals that make up a Sociopath! You cannot! 

“If you surround yourself with clowns, don’t be surprised when your life resembles a circus.”                    steve maraboli

©SociopathLife.Com

26 Responses to “The Circus”

  1. Rose

    Thanks for the article. Dealing with it since months and I’m very afraid about it. I have good friends who help me on my way but he acts like he is the victim and tries to cover his lies with new lies. First I laughed about it. Now I just want him and the monkeys to leave me alone. Sites like this one help me to recover and to not go crazy.

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  2. GG

    Hi Taela, Long time no speak (so to speak)This blows me away every time,you know I’m now third party encountering this circus… my partner has been in and is now somewhat out of the circus. He has 3 girls with the ring master and while we say no contact and protect the children,continually she uses them as a bargaining tool and has 70% custody it makes things difficult. How How How do you live life without this interruption to your emotions..
    GG x

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    • Tela

      ‘GG’, so good to hear from you! I sent you an email a few months back with some ‘tools’ to help dealing with the Ring Master. When did she gain 70% custody? Please send me an email and bring me up to date on the The Circus ❤

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  3. Persia Karema

    Reblogged this on Blog of a Mad Black Woman and commented:
    “Then you wake up one day, and the Circus now has let loose of the animals. There are elephants in the room, there are skeletons in the closet, there is the joker who is constantly lying, manipulating and emotionally abusing you.” ~ Sociopath Life

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  4. Adolfo Gesurum

    Yes. Everything that you wrote up there Happened to me.
    These type of people need to be exposed and removed from the social norm. They are criminals in a way. Worst of the worst hiding in plain site. No contact is correct. The only
    problem is that I have a child with one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Santaland

      I agree with everything you said and more. Regarding your child, do whatever you can to keep them away from the child…why, they poison them too, and the saga continues….find a way to do it, save the child…and yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Hayden

    Tela,

    What a great way to describe them and their game.

    A circus and loose animals … as well as packing up and coming back to town when they feel like it!

    No contact is the way, and they just think they can pull your strings and come into town whenever they feel like it. To hell with them. Let the animals loose and let them piss off out of town and never come back!

    They are like a misbehaving animal that can never be trained to change its ways.

    Liked by 2 people

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  6. lifegoeson14

    65 days no contact ! I can’t belive it myself I never thought I could do this but after the last evil discard i had to do it .yes he has tried everything possible to get a reaction from me and I have ignored every single attempt I have read the messages and not replied to any of them and I am have no urge to .yes I miss him and I’m hurting but I won’t ever let him know and I hope in time I will stop having these feelings that I don’t want anymore .No contact is the only way !

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Tela

      CONGRATULATIONS! LifeGoesOn14 I truly can relate to trying every possible avenue to get a response or reaction from you. I will say this, it is imperative that you block him on ALL avenues! Phone/Social Media/Email. Yes, you will hurt for a very long time, the missing him will eventually fade, I promise! Keep up the NC! So very proud of you!!! ❤

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      • lifegoeson14

        Thank you tela I have kept up with the no contact he keeps trying but failing to get a reaction off me I haven’t answered one message since the day he left and although I still have bad days and days when I miss him I ignore my feelings til they pass where as before I would of gave in X

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      • Tela

        Thank you LifeGoesOn for the update! I think of you often! Send me an email and tell me how your doing otherwise. I hope, one day, you will be able to block him on your phone so that you will never see another message for him. I know it is taking a HUGE AMOUNT of inner strength not to respond to him. And that is what he wants~ you know that! How many times have you been down that road? Keep going forward my dear! XO ❤

        Liked by 2 people

      • lifegoeson14

        Thank you tela I will send u an email later today thankyou for your continued support without the support u don’t think I could have kept up with the no contact and still to this day I have not replied to one message and I have managed to block him from sending me anymore 🙂 xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • AlohaLover

        To Life Goes One from Tela’s 9.24.2015 post:
        LGO, Tela said she hopes one day you’ll be able to block him from your phone. You may think ” I can’t….he may want to talk, I need to be there ” I thought the same but, one day and that ‘day’ is in YOUR time, not your friends who may think ‘ it’s time ‘ you will pop out of bed, have coffee and say ” I’m deleting all his pictures, his number, everything…today “. It will come…promise. I got to a place of ‘ nothing ‘ which means, I feel nothing towards him…..he’s someone I used to know and even then, I never knew him. Listen to Tela and know it WILL come. Stay strong and move forward.

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  7. AlohaLover

    Great post.
    Funny thing is I have NEVER liked the circus. Hated and still do hate, clowns. I feel the freaky circus people abused the animals. I guess I was one of the abused animals those freaks abused. A lot could be said of the whips they used to keep the animals doing just what they wanted them to do. And what about the ringmaster, cracking the whip, making the animals do what he wants them to do.
    I love the animals….I hate the circus….especially the ringmaster.

    Liked by 1 person

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  8. shane

    After a month of no contact I got all emotional and missing the early fun of the circus so I unblocked the ex’s number and texted her an apology for the way I had started the NO CONTACT… the ex was of course over joyed to hear from me and said she forgave me and started the good vibe text bombing… late at night, early in the morning, all day long, and the next day. then the 3rd day came. I was caught up in that rush of and the wow of the first two days, totally reminiscent of the first few good months with her. The addicting thought rose up again “maybe she’s seen the light, maybe she finally understands me.” Not so much!! I get a text from her where she’d copied and pasted all of my “going crazy” after the breakup texts that I’d sent to her. She pointed out all my awful and mean words. Not one curse word, “liar”, “soul of ice” and “I never knew you” is all. She claimed she was a deleter of everything after breakups, that’s not the case with me. She then texts me that she was starting to regret breaking up with me, and missing me until I went NO CONTACT on her and that sealed the deal for her that she made the right choice to move on with her new doctor victim. Then she drops the real manipulation… she needs my friendship during this “special” period of her life because she and her new target will not be having sex for the next year (had I not found this site I would probably be stuck in a mental mind fuck over that bullshit) and she needs me to be her accountability and Christian brother/friend to help her along this new journey. Why the hell do I do this to myself? I have never been asked to do such a stupid thing in any of my relationships before, but like a moth to the flame I responded with a well thought out, super rational text loaded with reasons why that would never work which then led to 2 days of arguing about the meaning of friendship….
    Today, I changed my number. Its been 24hrs since her last text and I’m feeling like I did right after she broke up with me. I’ve wasted so much time this week all ready. Its an absolute fucking circus when you’re in contact with these types of people. My head is spinning and my heart feels raped of it’s feelings for the umpteenth time. NO CONTACT! Its the only way. Sharing any kind of feelings with these types of predators is useless. People’s feelings are no more than firewood to warm their ice cold soul.

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  9. Cie

    Well put. Been there, never going back. I LOVE no contact, and it is truly the way!! to healing oneself and getting back to the person you were.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Cie for your comment. And yes, No Contact is a MUST to be able to start the healing process and to make sense of the senseless.

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  10. Santaland

    Funny how you mention ‘elephant in the room’…this is what I often thought of my ex….how clumsily she lied at times, how clumsily she manipulated converstaions, how clumsily she gaslighted….sure over time you begin to have your doubts about them being clumsy. I always thought, gosh you are like an elephant in a glass shop. Do not get me wrong, I am a big animal fan no matter what creature…well except snakes….and that is what they are…snakes.

    I concur, they become an addiction and I also fully underscore, highlight and keep saying the same….NO CONTACT….drop them because the abuse will escalate, the break ups (after the first) will become more and more and the time of calmness and bliss will become shorter…..well not always, perhaps when they are in need, having a rough patch, no ‘ideal’ source etc….then they are on good behavior…but give it a short time and they are back….the entire circus and the cycle continues until you say…enough is enough!

    Liked by 2 people

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  11. revgerry

    Great post, Tela. I think it’s like any addiction. You have to wake up and see what the addiction is doing to your life, your family, your career. You have to name it, go through the withdrawals and ONE DAY AT A TIME make another choice. Big hugs, love, gerry ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Gerry for your comment. Yes, the mental & emotional addiction is what keeps the wanting and needing to be with a Sociopath foremost in peoples minds. They have been manipulated, spoon fed Poison that it seems impossible to get out of the circus. As you said One Day At a Time… lots of love! ❤

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