A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Flying Monkey’s

You have been searching the internet trying to figure out what the hell kind of person you have or are involved with. After reading for countless hours, you have determined that the person is a Narcissistic Sociopath. They have met the criteria LISTYou are a mental and emotional DISASTER.  You wonder why you did not see the RED FLAGSAnd how easily they are/were a PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!!

So while reading about the piece of shit person that has ruined your life, you come across words such as: GASLIGHTING, EVIL, FEMALE SOCIOPATH, NO CONTACT etc. This article is going to be about the words Flying Monkey’s.

A Flying Monkey in a Sociopaths life is a person or persons who do their dirty work. Once the Sociopath has totally discredited you to any and everyone who would listen, as well as the Flying Monkey(s), that person/person(s) then reports back to the Sociopath what you are doing in your life. Sometimes by direct contact, other times indirect contact. For instance, the Sociopath can have a best friend (we all know they have no friends), who could be a mutual friend of yours. That person~ now a Flying Monkey will let the Sociopath know they have seen you or spoken to you, and given a full report on what is happening in your life. Fucked up? YES!! They may even act as thought they believe everything you are saying about the Sociopath. Do not be fooled. They have been brainwashed and under the SOCIOPATH POSIONA parent will also use the children as Flying Monkey’s and turn them against you.

Why do Sociopaths have Flying Monkey’s? Because they know once they DISCARDED you, and totally SMEARED your name/character, they still have to have that control over you, even if they have moved onto a new person!!!! So this is where the Flying Monkey’s are essential to the Sociopath, to let them know EVERYTHING that is going on with you. If the Sociopath knows you are an emotional wreck, that feeds them!!! If the Sociopath knows they have mentally & emotionally abused you so much that you cannot move forward~ HUGE win for the Sociopath. If you allow the Sociopath to contact you over and over, break up, make up, break up, make up etc. score another HUGE win for the Sociopath, and……..success for the Flying Monkey’s in their life. Even the children. If they come back and say ‘mommy or daddy (_________)’, win for the Sociopath.

flying monkey

Why does the Sociopath even care what you are doing once they have moved on? MOST DO NOT!!! The one’s that do, are because YOU are still feeding them, YOU are still allowing them to suck any happiness out. YOU are the one who cannot let go.

It is extremely imperative that you are aware of the Flying Monkey’s in the Sociopaths life. Be it family members, friends, co-workers, mutual friends etc. Be mindful of how you present yourself and what comes out of your mouth when dealing with the Flying Monkey’s, as it is certain everything is being reported back to the Sociopath. Which is therefore used as more ammunition against you. Be it emotional blackmail, parental alienation, financial hostage and so on.

getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. you have to let go at some point to move forward                   c.s. lewis



27 Responses to “Flying Monkey’s”

  1. former flying monkey

    Legal Proceeding……YES! Please provide more info on how to do this.

    I am ashamed to admit that I was a former flying monkey. I was manipulated by my oldest sister (S/N) at a very young age, and although I wouldn’t be vicious and mean to her targets like she was, I would not defend them and only helped them when I thought she wouldn’t find out. It took years for me to be brave enough to openly stand up for her target(s). And when I did, she wasn’t happy and turned her sights on me. Soon, I was excluded from most family functions. When I was invited, I would arrive happy and excited only to be greeted with an unwelcome, “well it’s Christmas, so I guess you can come in”. When I got in my car at the end of the night I’d cry all the way home. It felt like there was a power struggle between my oldest sister (S/N) and me over who got the family. Sometimes I thought about being her puppet again so I could still be part of the family (to this day, I actually identify and understand why her flying monkeys don’t break free…..they saw what happened to me. I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone.) I finally stopped attending family functions when I just couldn’t take it anymore. I, then, reached out to family members to try and maintain individual relationships and that was great for awhile. But slowly, one by one, they stopped returning calls and not one of them ever reached out to me. I didn’t understand what was happening at the time and thought perhaps it was me who was crazy or living in the twilight zone. I finally just walked away….defeated and confused. It took another 10 years to mourn the loss of my family and be at peace with the situation.

    I could not, however, cut off contact with my mother for more than a year or two. I loved my mother and desperately wanted her to love me too. I never asked my mother to stop contact with her other daughters. I only asked her to maintain a separate relationship with me as well. We would be friends and have daily contact, until suddenly she would turn into a flying monkey. During these times I always thought the sociopathic /narcissistic oldest sister and her flying monkeys sucked our mother back into their world. The estrangement with my mother would last until a serious medical issue or funeral brought us back together. This was our pattern….best friends -estranged. Although I hated it when my mother turned into a flying monkey, I always came back desperate for my mothers love. Until now……

    My mother recently joined a family member in a legal action which has the potential to financially destroy me. I read her lies on a legal document and I still didn’t want to believe that my mother would actually cause me, her daughter, harm outside of the family. It wasn’t until my mother looked me in my eyes, actually laughing at times, and giving false testimony against me that a light-switch went off in my head. I realized that my mother may be a sociopathic/narcissistic/flying monkey…..is that even possible to be all three? I now believe that my mother created a false bond with me in order to destroy me. I’m
    disappointed with myself for not wanting to see this years ago. I did have some people throughout my life warning me about this, but I just could’t permanently walk away from her, until now. My mother has even made an attempt to get me back in her life, but the emotional attachment I felt towards her is gone. This is a new feeling for me, there’s no love….there’s no hate….there’s nothing.

    My oldest sister recruited another flying monkey, an attorney. So, now they are all using the legal system to try and destroy me at no financial cost to them. I thought surely this educated attorney, who knows the family quite well, is a reasonable and objective person, and would never risk their professional reputation by filing a lawsuit when the only evidence they have are the lies of the
    sociopath/narcissistic/flying monkeys, but I was wrong. I have spent over $50,000 in legal fees and they have spent nothing. And, it’s not over yet. I’ve been told by my attorneys, I will prevail in the end, but it will bankrupt me. I just want them to let me go and leave me alone.

    Boy, they must really be happy now with a flying monkey attorney at their disposal. I ask myself, do I even stand a chance? Why fight it? Is this my karma for allowing myself to be a flying monkey at one time?

    Do I beg their forgiveness and agree to be a puppet again? Do I strip myself naked and give them all my material possessions? Would that make them happy? Do I allow them to take my soul in exchange for peace? Would that make them happy? Would my dead body being 6-feet under make them happy? I think not! They will never be happy.

    So, I ask myself, how do I protect myself from them? Should I send a cease and desist letter to the sociopath/narcissistic? Will this intensify the attacks on me? Should I send a cease and desist letter to the flying monkeys? Would this intensify the attacks on me? Should I put them on the defense by filing my own lawsuit, without an attorney? Would this intensify the attacks on me?

    I just want to be at peace again…..I just want to be FREE!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear You | SociopathHell.Com

    […] continue to do whatever you can to stop me from healing. People like you that have to have their Flying Monkeys do your dirty work. but Dear You have no idea the strength inside of me. The strength through your […]


  3. Helene Berk

    I am truly grateful that I found your blog. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have been experiencing so much of what you write about, my entire life!

    It is so wonderful to BREAK FREE, and part of that process is realizing so many people have suffered in exactly the same way as I have… so… FREEDOM is a choice…. and I choose to BE FREE of the bullshit.

    I love the way you express your Self. Thank you for being YOU.


    • Tela

      Helene, I’m sorry you have experienced so much of what I write about. When we finally tell ourselves NO MORE! No more bullshit, no more lies, no more manipulation, no more blame shift, just plain and simple NO MORE from a Sociopath, then you will have that Freedom.
      It is hard, hard work to break free of the mental & emotional TRAUMA BOND. There are no magic words, no fairy dust to help a person heal. It takes time and a lot of it.
      Just be mindful of the Flying Monkey’s, they are everywhere!!!


  4. secretangel

    Tela, you help so many with this information. I really did not know what these contacts were called but it took totally enforcing the “No contact” by moving over 100 miles away from all of them to keep them away from me. The “attacks” did not decrease till then. “No contact” is so important for healing. Many blessings to you, my friend!!


  5. karenthom2014

    Hi Tela. This is Karen. I’m sure I posted my experience with flying monkeys today. Is there a problem with my post? Please let me know. I’m in just as much pain as before?


      • Santaland

        Hi Tela, no cannot see your response to Karen and nor to mine below.


      • Tela

        SantaLand, it is there. Refresh your browser, or check your browser settings. Also, sometimes it takes WP to update comments/posts/etc. a few hours.


  6. Santaland

    Flying Monkeys, proxies, enforcers…call them what you like, they are the workers for the sociopath cowards. They are the spies, back stabbers and canary birds….yes and the sociopath will use this information, no matter how tiny bit of information and translate it into more lies and a bigger smear. Amazing how they operate, yet how frustrated they get when you block all information from them, their flying monkeys etc. The odd thing about flying monkeys is that they idiolize the sociopath but they too are affected by what Tela pointed out, the poison…they use the sociopath like the sociopath uses them, eventually this will blow up in their faces…then we will witness a true battle of words and actions. Anyway, be aware and be clear that they are the ones who does the sociopaths dirty work when access is no longer available.


  7. Concerned

    I have been calling them proxies. My sister uses them all the time. That way she can say to the family that she is doing nothing and it is all these evil people doing. She then runs the proxies (flying monkeys) down to everyone that is listening, presenting them as the lowest form of life, projecting her traits upon to them. Meanwhile she is the one who has orchestrated the whole thing, the puppeteer pulling the strings.

    Some of these proxies are very intelligent, senior professional people.

    Early on I was wondering if mental illness could be for want of a better term ‘contagious’. How could these very intelligent people believe what a person they have never met before told them, more than what they where seeing with their own eyes. And yet they did.

    The effect was to totally isolate me by trying to removing all trust I had in other people. Once isolated I could become easier to control because my sister tried to present herself as the only person I could trust. However growing up with her before she had so successfully polished her approaches I never fully trusted her. But at the same time I would not let myself believe that some would do this to another person especially a member of their own family, primarily because I would not do this to anyone else.

    I have had a number of careers in the circa of $100K per year which she has destroyed. I have two postgraduate degrees and worked as an executive, I have worked from the ground up on a number of occasions rebuilding careers after she has used proxies to destroy them. The same is true for my relationships, I am attracted to intelligent professional women and I used to think that she did what she did because she was threatened by them. She even tried to get me kicked out of university both my undergraduate degree and my post graduate degrees (at the highest ranked university in my country).

    Her approach was to get a number of proxies in the area in which I lived (over 1000km from where she lived) in order for them to back each other up with her lies. That is one of her proxies would say that if you don’t believe me just ask so in so (another proxy) who would give a very similar story. They would convince others who could back up their stories further to other people and once people started getting the same, or very similar stories, from a number of sources they were more likely to believe it. As a result the lie became a social ‘truth’. By social truth I mean that if enough people believe something to be true in that social grouping it becomes a truth regardless if in fact it is in reality a truth or not.


    • Tela

      Thank you Concerned for your comment and sharing. To be honest, I read your comment twice. There are several things I would like to ‘suggest’. First and foremost is, you are very well aware of the damage to your career/character/life your sister has and is doing. Why have you not put BOUNDARIES in place? Secondly, I don’t know how much contact you have to have with her, but I strongly suggest NO CONTACT or very limited contact.
      And NO, Mental Illness is NOT contagious. There are some that are hereditary, Sociopath is not one of those.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Concerned

        Thank you for your advice
        I have set boundaries, e.g. no contact with me, my workplace or colleagues, my neighbours, my friends, places where I volunteer, shop, play sports.
        I have absolutely no contact with her and have not for a number of years. As such I do not provide her with any of the above information. However this did not stop her as she uses her flying monkeys to track me.
        So I am now going through legal proceedings to have a court order to enforce the boundaries that I have set.
        I have also informed my family and all of my friends of the boundaries I have set for her and that I am now taking legal actions, so that if she makes contact or tries to get the latest information on me it can be fed into the court system.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Tela

        Thank you Concerned for your comment. Boundaries are so important in the healing process. However, a Sociopath does not feel they are in place for them, or their Flying Monkey’s. Therefore, it is up to you to read that link about Boundaries and stick with them. I don’t know what sort of legal process you can have the courts put in place for the ex and her Flying Monkey’s as far as ‘tracking you’. If there is no contact, than the courts really have nothing to ‘enforce’, even indirect contact. It is great that you have let your family & friends know about YOUR boundaries, and I hope they are aware of what kind of person the Ex is!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Constance

    For the year after I left him I gave his flying monkeys nothing, did what I was supposed to do and took the high road. This last January I decided to try a different approach, with one of them, setting him up to expose himself (validate my instinct) and I think he’s done just that. I stirred a little shit, but by and large my hands are still clean.


    • Tela

      Thank you Constance for your comment, and good to ‘hear’ from you. I read your post about one of the Flying Monkey’s in your ex’s case…..and you did a great job!!! I wouldn’t recommend for everyone to do what you did, as the repercussions can be extreme for a lot of people.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Tela

      Thank you…..it does blow some perspectives out of the water as you say. It’s the cold harsh reality of the deeps a Sociopath sinks to when destroying our lives 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • denise

        I must have been one lucky blessed woman, all my life, because I really didn’t know these demented BOS even existed. Who in the name of God sets out to destroy another person? I am not everyones cup of tea. I get that. But if I really am all the things you say I am and you hate me to the point of wanting to destroy me, WHY ARE YOU STILL IN MY HOUSE. I mean if I am so stupid, fat unattractive, and disgusting person, { and your new lady friend who you are almost genuflecting about is so wonderful} get away from me then?? { would make sense?}
        The lies, mind screwing, wash and rinse and repeat is exhausting and mind numbing. Hey Ace, if you didn’t waste all your energy with all the aggravation you whip up destroying people, you d have time to get a job!!! Like I say, Id never ever seen a real live in my face sociopath before, far less have one in my life. By the time I was aware of the trouble I was in, I was drowning in it. Getting him out of MY HOUSE was only the beginning. Vindictive violent menacing deranged. This disorder should carry a spell in an institution. Meds and a government health warning.

        Liked by 1 person

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