A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Discounts

When you read the word ‘discounts‘ you probably are thinking….discount on a tangible item. That is not the discount I will be talking about in this article.

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How did we ‘discount‘ our self to the Sociopath?? After the honeymoon phase, and their real personality came out, you started to be discounted. You wanted sex, answer could be: “why do you always want sex, why is that all you think about etc.”? So you ‘discount‘ that to ‘well maybe they are tired, not in the mood‘ or whatever ‘discount’ you gave them. You decided you wanted to eat at a particular place, nope! You were given a list of reasons/excuses why ‘we can’t go there, why do you always pick that place, I don’t like the food {yet during the honeymoon they had no problem with it}. So you ‘discount‘ that to….’okay maybe they don’t like that place anymore‘. You are now being verbally and emotionally abused, so you chalk that ‘discount‘ up to… “maybe I am what they are saying. Maybe I do act like they are saying”. Here comes the silent treatment…maybe you don’t hear from them for hours/days or even weeks. And you give the ‘discount’ as ‘maybe they just need some time to cool off after an argument. If I give them some space they will realize how much they love need to use me’.  You find out they have been cheating and confronted them, only to hear a laundry list of lies, excuses for the reason(s)- so you ‘discount‘ that to ‘maybe I should have been more patient, kind, loving, more manipulated, more adaptable to their ever moving mine field, more forgiving of their dual lifestyle.’ Maybe they will stop now that they have sincerely  apologized”. You discovered pretty much everything they have told you about themselves is purely fiction, again, chalk that up to ‘discount‘ because “maybe if they had told me the truth up front about themselves I would not be with them”…….no shit!!!
You find they are deceiving you more and more. So you ‘discount‘ that to: ‘well maybe they are just to embarrassed to tell me the truth, or whateverdiscount‘ you gave them. There is a word for all the deception done to you: NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. You have been silently isolated from your friends/family because the Sociopath demands (is exhausting) most, if not all of your time and attention. So you ‘discount’ that to “they just enjoy spending as much time with me as they can.” If you are out with friends & you get text constantly from them you ‘discount’ that to “they are just making sure I’m ok”. NO! NO! NO! That was control!!!!!! All the hours of conversations regarding the future and happily-ever-after that did NOT happen, you ‘discounted‘ that to “maybe I wasn’t the one”. NO! It’s called Welcome To Hell After A Sociopath!
After all the DISCOUNTS given during the relationship with the Sociopath, that is why you feel like you do! An emotional train wreck, completely heartbroken, in a constant state of sadness. Angry, biter, wanting revenge. Maybe your still holding out hope the Sociopath will magically wake up one day and realize ‘they do love you’……….stop right there! DO NOT! Fool yourself into thinking this will happen! They were a Sociopath before you met them, and they will continue to be a Sociopath after you!
After all  the ‘discounts’ you gave, you were actually giving a piece of yourself bit by bit daily!  This is why you feel like you ‘don’t/didn’t matter’, this is why you ask,’why did they do this to me?’, ‘how can they just move on as if they didn’t destroy my entire life’? All of those thoughts and more are because you have discounted yourself! You are believing all the bullshit said to you. You are believing their viscous attacking words said to you as if that is truly how the world views you. You think they have found ‘the one’ with the new person they are with! Ha~ NO! That relationship will eventually implode as well.
 With all the discounting done, you feel totally worthless. Yes! Understandable because you did/do want to feel like you mattered. You did/do want to feel like you were actually loved {reality check~NO, you were not}. You did/do want to think you could have saved them from themselves {another reality check~ NOPE!} Like I said in a prior article, they do not love themselves, how can you expect them to love or even respect you????!!!!
Starting today, stop giving discounts! You are very worthy of love, kindness, compassion, a mutual unconditional loving relationship. But until you start to believe in yourself and stop using discounts {on everyone}, you will not be able to move forward in your healing.
©SociopathLife.Com

24 Responses to “Discounts”

      • afterthepsychopath

        I think I’ll write a comment to this post, it is so good, and relates to something I have thought of lately – how addictive the psychopath is. The other side of the “medal” (pile of shit), sort of.

        And thank you! I am so happy you exist. You have held me up with your funny yet serious posts. I love reading your blog. The best one for me.

        I’m at the bottom, I guess that is progress, haha. It can only go one way from here. 🙂 ;)<3

        Like

  1. GG

    I’m blown away at every interaction between my partner and his ex, it just keeps coming.. let me put this out there if you are a women that has claimed that this person has done something to you that involved you calling the police, would you be so insisted on meeting the offender in unsupervised areas…. I sure as hell wouldn’t!!! The less drama an interaction the better for me to move on as far as I’m concern. But NO, at every opportunity it goes on and on…. to the point were my normal thoughts are going to explode with all the jargon, inconsistent, unstable, bullshit that pours out of this ex wife’s mouth and to think ,they think what they are saying is logical is beyond me… just gob smacked!!!!!!!

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you GG for your comment. Yes, it has & will get worse for you. I will respond to your email, and also follow up on this comment as well. Like I have said, you have to stay one step ahead of her!!! Eventually your partner is going to realize how truly sick and what a Sociopath she is!! Keep your normal thoughts, as those are what is in the best interest of the children!!! Not trying to having a ‘win’ like the crazy ex!! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • GG

        Thank You… How do you stay one step ahead when they are all over the place??Yeah, hopefully two strong minds are better then one crazy mind!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Tela

        You & your partner are already aware of how she has manipulated order etc. So staying one step ahead is having a ‘reaction’ to what you know will be her ‘action’ BEFORE it even takes place. Did you read my email?

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  2. 18mitzvot

    Great post. I like how it starts out slowly. Maybe he’s too tired for sex? But soon enough, I was excusing him forty times a day. Do you think he reciprocated with unconditional love? HELL NO. Every time I displeased him, he stopped talking to me. Either total silent treatment abuse or he disappeared. He was evil to hurt me that way.
    I’ve grown so much during my recovery, but the narcissist is frozen in time. It’s like nothing ever happened, except that he still hates me.

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    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Rivka for your comment. Looking back we can see how we ‘discounted’ the Narcissistic Sociopath, ourselves etc. As far as him ‘still hating you’…like I said they don’t even LOVE THEMSELVES, how can you expect them to love you’? During your recovery, you will come to the point where you will love yourself just as you are. You do not need the Ex to love {or even like you}. He’s an ex for a reason!! 😀 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • 18mitzvot

        True, Tela. I made so many excuses for the narcissist sociopath because he didn’t behave like normal people. And I lowered my standards a little more each week. “Okay, if he won’t give 50%, then I’ll settle for 65-35.”
        I don’t want to live like that any more.

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    • Tela

      Thank you sweet Persia for the re-blog. I strongly recommend my readers visit your site to learn about being a single parent with zero support financially {or any at all}. You are to be admired for the sacrifices you have had to endure not just for your physical safety and that of your precious son, but the sacrifices of having to move overseas with no money, no personal belongings. I have the utmost respective for what a strong woman you are! ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      • Persia Karema

        Aww, thank you for your kind words my lovely friend. Your posts are spot on so I am more than happy to reblog them. They remind me how lucky I am to have gotten away with my son.
        You are strong too; I see that. I am so glad our paths crossed.
        Much love. xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

    • Tela

      Thank you Feliza for your comment. I did read the link, and there are some very good points. I do however, want to add, that not only does a toxic relationship with a Sociopath cause anxiety, it also causes PTSD. Which is very serious. The most important thing to keep in mind is the relationship is/was toxic, possibly caused anxiety {most often it does} and that it is okay to see a physician regarding that. Sad thing is, as you know, most everyone carries the shame of what they endured & therefore do not seek help. Thank you again!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. isabel

    I really don’t know where people get strength from in the aftermath of being with a sociopath. After reading this article and over old emails from him, I still think it was me with the issue. I discounted myself a lot yet some part of me will always justify his actions. It is clear on the days he ignored me there was something better on offer but why did he come back to me at all. I thought they always moved forward when have a new supply. He came to me plenty of times after extreme volatility. Always said he couldn’t be without me. He had plenty of opportunities to leave me but only did when I found out he was emailing his ex again which I knew plenty of times. It’s been 4 months since no contact and I don’t feel any better. My life is consumed with him. I don’t feel like I will ever get over this.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Tela

      Isabel, thank you for your comment. You answered your own question “why did he come back to me, I thought they always move forward”. He came back because you allowed him to! After each time he left, and you allowed him back into your life, you were the perfect supply source for him! I don’t know how you can ‘justify his actions’ {can you be more specific}? And the reason you feel like you are the one with the issues is just like I said in this article….you gave a piece of yourself bit by bit with every single discount you gave the ex. Therefore, yes, I’m sure you do feel/think you have the ‘issues’. But I will tell you just from this short comment with 100% certainty YOU do NOT have the ‘issues’ simply with your sentence of “my life is consumed with him”. His life/thoughts are not ‘consumed’ of you! And that is easy for him, he never, will never, connect with you emotionally or mentally. Period! 4 months is not nearly long enough to ‘feel better’!! And the strength comes from 1. not believing all the bullshit he said to you 2. think back to when you were a young girl and dreamed of who your partner/husband would be like {did you dream he would be a liar/cheater/manipulator}? 3. Stop holding onto any hope that he will change! 4. You may want to consider seeing a therapist, or you can email me TaelaHill@mail.com until you start changing your thought process, you will be stuck right where you are! It’s hard! I KNOW how hard it is to start healing. But it can and will be done! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Santaland

        Tela, I do not what to say. It is sooo on the mark! So true…..this article your wrote resonates. And this shop has no discounts anymore. Hope that they will wake up…for what more discounts…I think not. Kudos Tela and hope your readers whom you have helped, including me tremendously read this…You are great! I humbly thank you….

        Liked by 1 person

      • Tela

        Thank you SantaLand for your kind comment. I like how you stated ‘this shop has no discounts anymore’. And what I am saying in this article is, not only do we need to stop giving discounts to the Sociopath, but to each & every person we encounter. I’m not saying ‘oh, well I don’t like what you said so screw you’…no, what I’m saying is, every time you ‘discount’ you basically are saying to someone ‘it’s okay to talk to me that way, or it’s okay to treat me that way’. NO! It is now about YOU, and YOU ONLY. We all have value, therefore no more discounts should be given!!

        Liked by 1 person

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