A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

One Word

After coming to terms and realizing the relationship with the Sociopath has ended, or is ending,  we need to in a sense rescue ourselves. Most family members, friends and co-workers have no idea what you just went through, and the complete and total emotional, mental, financial and spiritual destruction done to you. This was no “ordinary” relationship gone bad. This was purposeful and methodical emotional abuse! 

There is no amount of words of advice’ or ‘understanding’ that someone can say to you about healing, that will help you to understand what happened! To the outside it appeared to be a loving, romantic relationship. And there are some who do not even realize they have become victims, they just think they lost the love of their life. What you need to realize is, you never ‘had’ them to begin with. You can read about that HERE.

To get to the place where the One Word LOVE free’s us of the pain, we need validation, you can read about that HERE. If you are reading this, or any website, literature, books etc. about abuse, then you have your validation! In normal relationships, we do not have to search for answers for behaviours, actions, or words. You have to be able to heal with validation. Because the Narcissistic Sociopath has 8 sides to their conning behaviour,  you find that you are needing validation from family, friends, sometimes judges and cops. Figure out where you are wanting and/or needing validation from and adjust your expectations. The best validation will be from other people who have experienced similar to what you are going through. But most importantly keep in mind that no amount of you LOVE could have change them, or changed the abuse, mental manipulation, & the total loss of who you were prior to them. 

Most of you think you will never love again, never be able to meet someone who made you feel like the Sociopath did. And your right! You won’t. The reason being is the Sociopath gave you nothing!! Nothing you say? Yes, nothing! So words were said, they made you feel as if there is no other person on the planet of 2.8 billion people who are as fabulous as you. Euphoria is the feeling you were in day in and day out, until the last day. IF, big IF you were all they said & made you feel you were, then you would not be reading this website, or having to find out what the hell just happened to you. A Sociopath is not a real person. They lack a soul, they lack respect, they lack a heart, they are an empty shell in a body. Read & educate yourself. Stop taking on all the negative they left you with. You didn’t ask for it! And there should be no reason to hang onto it. Day by day, make yourself let go a little at a time. And read my previous post about them moving on…..who cares!!! They will simply destroy that next person’s life! Be thankful you still have your’s & you do have the ability to make it as great or as horrible as you want. It’s all in your hands.

“One Word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; that word is LOVE.”    sophocles

©SociopathLife.Com  

©SociopathHell.com

14 Responses to “One Word”

  1. secretangel

    Every word of this is true!! Tela, you help so many to understand what it is like to live with and the aftermath of living with an narcissistic person. Thanks for all that you share.

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  2. semisociopath

    What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. If you deal with a piece of shit person like this, all other interactions with less shitty people from now on will be easier than they would have been if you didn’t experience the piece of shit person. Remind yourself of that during the aftermath

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    • Tela

      Thank you SemiSociopath for your comment. I agree what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…….however When involved with a Sociopath in whatever capacity they have the ability to ‘kill’ the person you once were prior to them. And if they were just simply a ‘piece of shit person’, there would not be websites/books & therapist like myself helping people to put their lives back together!

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  3. hey_there_Delilah

    Thank you for this Tela! Yes, rationality I know exactly what happened thanks to you, but 30 days NC and I still have cognitive dissonance. I just can’t get myself to see that I never really had him when it felt like I really had him completely. I feel like he ruined me. One day I feel Ike I am over him and fine, the next day all I think about is how to get him back. I would think after a month NC the chemical addiction wore off, so why do I still want him to contact me even if I know he has no way to after I blocked him everywhere? I have been to hell so many times in my life and this still feels worse. I just want to forget him, but I miss that “manufactured love” so much, it’s painful. I just have to keep telling myself that all I ever got was words. All the actions I took to prove my love and all I Ever got from him was cheap words and empty broken promises, not a single action. I feel so broken and I hate him so much for destroying the person I used to be.

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    • Tela

      Delilah~ these back and forth emotions you are dealing with are completely normal. You never had closure from him! When you find yourself consumed with thoughts of ‘wanting him back’ ask yourself what is the best outcome if he was to come back? What would your life with him be like? You know his past, you KNOW he would never love you! Day in and day out you would be wondering what he was up to! You can’t just ‘forget him’, but I promise in time, you will not be on this emotional roller coaster! The pain is still to new, still to raw! Be easy on yourself. Take each day as it comes. Yes! He destroyed a part of you that you didn’t even know you had……but that’s ok! Because this was a horrific learning lesson about the Sociopaths that walk among us every single day! Did you do what I suggested in the email? You can respond via email! Hang in there!!!! ❤

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    • Tela

      Thank you Tony. And yes, there is so much touchy feely bullshit out there. That is why when you read through my articles, I do not ‘sugar coat’. There is no sugar coating a horrific Narcissist/Sociopath~ evil, soulless, heartless individuals.

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  4. wisdomovertime

    Recall the beginning of the relationship with the s’path and realize all those good things that you already were when the s’path mirrored them back to you…you are all those good feelings and thoughts! The s’path is not … and merely has a remarkable ability to reflect them back to you. You are the love you felt “for him”….you loved your self as seen in him (or her). Yes, Tela it is love! The love you already have for yourself that was siphoned off and contorted by the sociopathic soul-less leech!

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    • Tela

      Thank you WisdomeOverTime! And your so right! The Sociopath ‘siphoned off’ the love we have for ourselves. Therefore it is imperative to continue to love our self even after we question whether we are worthy {because of the mind-fucking done from the Sociopath}. And YES every single person is worthy of themselves & the love they have! ❤

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