A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Sociopath Encounter

Oh the honeymoon phase with the Sociopath❤️. All the right words said, the stroking of your ego, the crazy euphoric sex, the ‘how did I get so lucky meeting someone so wonderful?’, the craving to see each other. Numerous texts and phone calls, words of love & happily-ever-after. Life could not be anymore beautiful.

Then…….the mask slips……. crazy is taking over!  Those words you used to hear, are now words of hate, disgust, & control. Sex?? Becoming more detached, not as euphoric. All of the Sociopaths love bombing was just that- A bomb about to explode! Nothing but lies are said now. Anger is most prevalent. Then the Sociopath will start the mind fucking with the silent treatment or doing the disappearing act. Everything that was so RIGHT about the Sociopath is now so WRONG.
The break up (discard) has happened. Your entire world is dark! Your whole being just went through a Tsunami Shit Storm. So why do you want them to call? Why are you missing them so much? Are they even thinking of ‘me’. Your head is spinning! You have no contact in place. Progress!!!
Not so fast!!! Whatever amount of days/weeks/months goes by, and you have remained no contact either you or the Sociopath initiates communication. You have had time to think EXACTLY what you would say at this moment! All the hurt, excruciating  pain, the tears cried & now is the moment to tell them of the HELL you have and/or are in. But……you can’t! You have your ‘fix’, you have either seen the Ex or spoken on the phone, and the hope is alive! A word can be said, or a memory brought up, & in that instant your on a battle ground. Your head is telling (screaming at you), don’t listen to their convoluted bullshit, yet your heart aches just to be held by them. You have become educated on what type of person they are: A Sociopath, yet, your head & heart are on two different battle fields. So what to do:
First and foremost ask yourself this question: What will be the outcome of the encounter with the Sociopath, and then, what REALLY will be the outcome? Same lies bullshit words of how much they love you. Same lies words of how everything was your fault. Understand, the Sociopath works in Copy/Paste ModeWhat they say to you, they have said and will say to countless other’s. How many times do you want to be burned by the same fire??? The ONLY way to heal and move forward is to NOT encounter the Sociopath. I cannot stress enough how important no contact is. I also know how difficult that is because of the ‘addiction’ to them. If you happen to cross path’s with them, treat them with an air of boredom, indifference etc. By playing into their crazy train gives them what they are seeking: Power & Control over your words/actions & thoughts. Even though you want to say so much & cry to them how much they have destroyed your life, your world etc. Those words fall on deaf ears. Because once they are out of your site, it’s back to Copy/Past Mode with their next supply source. And trust me, you are not their first, nor will you be the last person they destroy. They simply have nothing inside of them to destroy.
I have counselled people who have been a victim of a Sociopath from their 20’s all the way up into their 70’s. One constant is: The Sociopath will never,ever, EVER change. They will not wake up one day magically a different person. They may tell you they have ‘finally found someone they love who is their next victim’. Trust me, they are not laying awake at night thinking of you, or missing you. Yes! That hurts, but that is the cold reality of what a Sociopath is, an empty, soulless, lying individual. Walking on eggshells is easy. Tiptoeing around crazy…..now that takes talent. Don’t do anymore tiptoeing. Do not fool yourself into thinking you change the Sociopath, because you simply cannot.
close the door to your past, open the door to your future. Take a deep breath and step through to a new life.               unknown.
©SociopathLife.Com

17 Responses to “Sociopath Encounter”

  1. Daisy

    Hello everybody… I am really trying to figure out WTH is on my ex’s mind…
    Let me begin… I met my ex 2 weeks after I moved to a new town. At the time, I wasnt looking for anything serious and I just wanted friends. I will admit that I was sort of casually dating a person I met a year before I moved into town and we were having sex. My ex was aware the guy and of the circumstances; which was that we were sexually attracted to each other and he was helping me out with some things but we agreed we didnt have a real future between us because he was 6 years younger and he wanted kids and I didnt want kids. Ok long story short, my ex wasnted to continue dating me and he insisted that I make him exclusive. I explained to him that I liked him as a friend with benefits and I am not ready for nothing serious and even if I was he was not stable enough for me. He didnt care about my comment and he cried (literally) and begged that I give him a chance. He bought me a promise ring and gave me a business/home plan on paper. I accepted his offer and I advised the other guy that I had to stop seeing him. He was wonderful to my kids and put me on a pedestal. A month after dating exclusively, I got pregnant. He was excited and wanted me to keep baby. me on the other hand did not want to keep baby. He begged me to have baby and gave me this story that he wants to wake to his children. I decided to keep the baby because I felt guilty and kind of selfish because he was sooo good to my kids and he was doing everything he could for me. I thought I should give him something that would make him happy (compromising for the relationship) Shortly after he started to distant himself and I started finding pictures of other women in his phone and strange numbers. It bother me but I wasnt to concerned about it because I felt like he loved me so much and he was just being a guy. It wasnt a problem to me until he didnt want to have sex with me and he even declined head. I would ask him why and he would give me excuses like he didnt feel like he was adequate enough because he wasnt providing or he felt uncomfortable while I was pregnant or toward the end he said he had a low sperm count. I know I got bigger during my pregnancy but I am still extremely attrative and other men found me attractive so it was really hard for me to accept that. I began to search for answers. I had all his passwords to everything but I didnt feel the need to look because I was secure and happy until he started declining sex. I search everything several times and I couldnt find anything really bad. The further along I got the less he wanted to have sex and after I had the baby he didnt want it at all. Let me rewind where some of the other problems started. During the end of my pregnancy he started doing the promoting again and all he wanted to do was hire hot go go dancers from craiglist which he lied to me about some of them and personal assistants. I was a bit jealous at the time because I was 8months pregnant or I just had a baby but my biggest problem with him hiring was that he was paying them while I had to pay part of his portion of bills. So I felt like it was wrong for him to pay somebody elses bills before he paid ours. Long story short, we got in a huge argument one night about it and he left. My baby was 2months old and he left. Blocked me from any communication with him and said I had 30days to get my mind right. During the 30days he gave me the silent treatment but he would pick up the baby to watch him while I was at work. he would ignore me and act like i was disgusting. Of course I cried and I couldnt believe it so I desperatly tried to get closure or answers. Now I am ok and accepted everything. I still dont know why he left and didnt want to make it work but I left the issue alone. Now he is sending me nasty emails on how much of a slut, money hungry, and liar I am. he accuses me of cheating on him with the other guy. One minute he tells me he is going to take my son from me because of my promiscous lifestyle (I havent had sex since Jan with my ex) and the other min he is saying he wants nothing to do with my son. My question is, he sounds like he is mentally disturb how can I protect myself from an individual like this? To be honest with you I dont even know how it got his bad, I am so confused… Can anybody help me understand?? Im I crazy as well.. I can take the truth, i just need sound advice

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    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Daisy for sharing your story. First & foremost, you need to be honest with yourself. You allowed/enabled him to lie & live the lifestyle he was. I’m not sure what he meant by giving you ’30 days to get your mind right’……but obviously the outcome was not what HE wanted??? Where did your wants/needs etc come into this 30 day period?? Now as far as him sending you nasty emails, as long as you respond in anyway he will continue. Yes! I know you want to defend yourself, but that is pointless. A Sociopath only views the world full of anger & jealousy. Everything they lack inside they project onto another i.e. his accusations/ vile words etc are all actually what he feels about himself. Therefore, it is imperative that you do not respond to any of that! Period. I don’t understand your comment “I’m crazy as well”….. Please send me an Email: TaelaHill@mail.com

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  2. I am Titanium

    I needed to read this, thank you. I broke my no contact rule to offer a nice gesture in relation to our son. He ignored me. A few days later I offered the same again by exactly the same text. He eventually answered. Of course, he perverted the gesture by stating how it would be…he didn’t want all the time with our son, it had to be on his terms (of course! Silly me! I forgot, his way or no way) so he will only have him a third of the additional time offered. THEN came the bite…I had nudged the angry, sleeping dog…he went into offensive, I have to win at all costs mode..this usually has the effect of knocking me back into a very dark place, but not today. Perhaps I needed a reminder of exactly what he is and always will be. Even a gently offered opportunity for time with his son had to be used as a weapon. As I heard in a film recently…some we win, some we learn. Lesson learned, again. D x

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    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Debbi for your comment. How sad to offer a nice gesture regarding your son. When I read this, I immediately thought of my article Sociopath Conspiracy. The ex did not take your kind gesture as just that, he took it as a Conspiracy against him! So typical. A kind gesture goes hand in hand with all the apologies you have said, all the love you poured into him, the forgiveness and on and on. Every emotion and action from you equates in HIS brain: Conspiracy! And you are so right with ‘Some we Win, Some We Learn’. ❤

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    • Tela

      Thank you MeAndDating for you comment, and information. Some of my readers may not know what the Amygdala is: Amygdala is the integrative center for emotions, emotional behavior, and motivation. It is not a physical deformity, it is a sensory input part of the brain. Sociopaths develop from learned behaviour. And no, they cannot & will not change!!

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      • lorelei

        “Sociopaths develop from learned behavior”. Really? I find it questionable that a psychologist would make such an inaccurate and extremely misleading statement about Anti Social Personality Disorder. I encourage you to do some serious, unbiased research regarding its true definition. Behavior is something we can control, but our thought patterns and brain wiring are not.
        Learned behavior certainly plays a part in the actions of a sociopath. For example, if a child has a natural tendency toward manipulation and receives positive reinforcement for it, over an extended period of time, the behavior will continue and become a permanent part of their personality.
        However, sociopaths are capable of developing self-awareness, and as a result, MAY choose to modify their behavior…
        Any behavior that is learned can be unlearned-Psychology 101

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      • Tela

        Lorelei, I find your comment 1. extremely inaccurate! 2. attacking 3. self-serving & 4. No help whatsoever to my readers. If anything, this comment would be a trigger to some. It is quite apparent that you lack any education whatsoever in Psychology {and by the way, I passed Psychology 101 & beyond 😀 }. Behaviour is something EVERYONE can control, even a Sociopath! It’s the Learned Behaviour of them that makes them harm people, i.e. mental/emotional/physical & financially. You may also want to educate yourself regarding the Amygdala : is the integrative center for emotions, emotional behavior, and motivation.
        Sociopaths are very well aware of what they are doing, so to inaccurately state “Sociopaths are capable of developing self-awareness” is so wrong! IF, BIG IF, they wanted to modify their behaviour they would. So please, show me ONE case where a Sociopath ‘modified’ their behaviour for the better.
        I personally feel you are either a Cluster B/ASPD and/or Sociopath. Why else would you be reading my website and making such an inaccurate comment. Any comments in the future from you will not be approved.

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  3. idodoyouride

    yes ive wanted to contact him lately, cant get him out of my head then i think what really would i say ? it doesnt matter he would only twist any truth i have into a mess of lies and blame on me. no closure.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you idodoyouride for your comment. I do understand the wanting of contacting him, wondering does he think of you etc. However, just remind yourself, if you are to contact him you start over at square one! He has not & will not change. Remember what I said….the Sociopath works in Copy/Paste Mode. You have heard the lies bullshit before, & you will hear it again if you encounter him.

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      Reply
  4. Army of Angels

    A great reminder…it is hard to give up hope for them to become empathetic, caring parents/people. Never before, had I encountered ANYONE who I had to “give up on” for the sake of my safety. Proceeding with much caution now…no more magical thinking about the narcissist.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you AoA for your comment. That is one of the hardest things for us caring, compassionate, understanding individuals is having to give up ‘hope’.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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