A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Sociopath Back-Slide

I have always said the first and only way to start healing from the Sociopath is No Contact.  I also understand how difficult that is!!! 

When the no contact is broke, either by you, or the Sociopath, that is back-sliding. And it happens! More often than not however, after the each contact you have, it get’s worse and worse for you. More hurtful & hateful words are said. Then followed up with the “I Love You Forever” back to the verbal and emotional abuse.

Why is it so hard to stick with no contact? For those of us who are not Narcissistic Sociopaths, things have to make sense. A relationship with a Sociopath is a puzzle. There are no rounded corners. Every bit of their core being is jagged. Therefore, the ‘puzzle’ never comes together, there are no rounded edges to start with to fill in the rest of the puzzle. And that is why the no contact is so hard. You want/need to understand what happened. You need closure. You simply need to have your peace of mind back that they took from you. So you think ‘if I send them a text will they respond’…..& they do. And the conversation goes okay, until the Sociopaths true self comes back out. So now you back-slid and have to start at square one again.

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Or you have consuming thoughts day in and day out of them. You miss the Sociopath terribly. You find that you just can’t handle it so you send a text or email. Back-Slide. You just need that fix’  so you reach out to them. But that fix will be short lived and in all reality cause even more Confusion and Chaos.  So how do you fix that fix? Keep reminding yourself of why you are no longer together. Keep reminding yourself of the HELL you {and children} went through. Keep reminding yourself that at the end of the day the Sociopath really did not give a shit about you. Empty promises, hollow words, shallow actions etc etc etc. When you have that overwhelming need to contact the Ex. STOP! And ask yourself this question “what is the outcome I want from contacting the Ex? And what really will be the outcome?” 

“There are certain truths that occurs to us, which we cannot convey in words, but requires a personal experience to grasp more vividly.”          michael johnson

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18 Responses to “Sociopath Back-Slide”

  1. lifegoeson14

    I have just read this again completely forgetting that I re blogged it in march …and I have once again gone no contact but this has to be the final of all final times .After all the bullshit I put up with he did the most evil discard to me and the kids which I am yet to write about .He completely broke me in the end and that was his intention .He is back to trying his little games an hoovering tricks but I’m a lot wiser and stronger now and I have stuck to the no contact and I will Continue to til the end of time because I would rather die than give that man the chance to hurt me all over again .Tela it’s took me a long time to get here and a lot of people had lost all hope in me but I have finally took enough !

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    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you LifeGoesOn14 for your comment.Yes, it takes a very long time to break the ADDICTION. As you said, you are a lot wiser now, you can see his bullshit hoovering/manipulation. Please continue to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!! You DO have the strength, and the knowledge to know, that if you were to allow the ex evil back into your and your children’s life, you will once again be placed into the darkness of HELL! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. emily

    Iv known my on and off bf for 2 years,I guess all the signs were there but when I always had proof of his cheating he would always come up with these bizarre excuses, my last straw was 8 days ago when I finally came to the realization he has a gf on Fb and probably has been with her during the entire time we have been together….
    I haven’t spoken to him in 8 days he hasn’t texted me I haven’t texted him ..He doesn’t know that I know,iv been wondering should I even bother letting him know that I know.even though I know he will deny it..or should i just continue to do NC knowing he will text me in the future wondering what happened…

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    • Tela

      Thank you Emily for your comment. If you have established NC, how is he texting you? You need to block him on your phone. Block him on FB, block him!! You already know the laundry list of excuses/lies for having a girlfriend (or many). If you allow him to contact you, and you reply back with PROOF, he will turn that around on you and BLAME you! Meaning he will question how you know, or blame you for spying etc. This is the Sociopaths way of not having to take ANY accountability. You can waste your time & explain to him if you want, but it will be just that, a waste of time.

      Liked by 1 person

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  3. lifegoeson14

    Reblogged this on learning lifes lessons everyday and commented:
    I have once again gone no contact after braking it again and now I have lost count of how many times I have broken no contact even though I know this is the only way I can ever start to get over this man and move on with my life ..wish me luck this time and good luck to anybody who is just starting or is currently no contact

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. secretangel

    Your words are so full of truth. “No Contact” is the best way of healing. I could not get out of the pit that I was in until I stopped all contact. It took me so long to realize that my ex was the one that kept throwing me in the pit. Words are powerful. Be have to be careful because we deserve so much better than abuse.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you SecretAngel for your kind words. When we find ourselves in that ‘pit’ and crawl back out, only to be thrown in again, it hurts. BAD. You are right, everyone of use deserves so much better than abuse of any kind!

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  5. Army of Angels

    What great words Tela… I add that co(counter) parenting with a cluster B is a tricky place to be NC, but it can be done…see the abuser as holding a hook and pole-DON’T TAKE THE BAIT💜💗

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Army Of Angels for your comment. In your case, as I follow your blog, you don’t really ‘co-parent’ with the Ex. He is like another rebellious child that you have to deal with! 😦 And yes, it is a very tricky place to be as the other parent will still abuse, manipulate & try and continue to break you & the children with zero conscious. It makes him furious that you have been able to move forward, purchase a home, provide an UNCONDITIONAL STABLE LOVE for the kids! ❤

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  6. Santaland

    I agree with Tela fully. I broke up (threw her out) on Feb 15, 2014. Then there was the back and forth bullshit messages/calls and little did I know she had already hooked her next person and was playing, then on April 23, 2014 she had an ooops damn, I screwed up by admiting “oh that is old news” which was the cause of Feb 15, fyi, she called me delusional, crazy, jealous…but I insisted diplomatically, and she lunged and punched me in the face, then cried etc etc….so April 23 she wanted a hug and I pushed her away, said nope, you are a liar….then it came out…’oh that….’

    So I went NC totally, in fact ignored her. Sure I hurt deeply (let me insert, early Mayl she was living with him, and about two months later engaged, poor guy -the new one). That was quick I think you would agree.

    Anyway, still am NC, and April 23 will be a year. That said, got back from Christmas holidays with my son….tanned etc. and what does she do…standing puffing her smokes (her shop downstairs from my bldg) and she says Happy New Year, in her fake Marilyn Monroe voice…I looked and looked right through her and turned, heard her huff as if she were doing me a favor. Well those words threw me upside down…and took weeks to recover….what if, perhaps, maybe….nope she made me slide back…and I slid. But I still maintain NC whilst it hurts badly while she flaunts her new shiney object, anyway. Point being any and all contact makes you slide, and if you engage, take another 6 months off. And if you play triangulation game…well you may as well delete everything, you will hurt, and they don’t. And if they do, who cares. Veni Vidi Vici….Latin…Came, Saw, Conqued.

    Fellow readers of Tela’s great blog, and she too is awesome, but these Cluster B individuals will damage you and scar you for life. Let me ask all of you…if you had a friend, and they treated your friendship the way these people do, would they be your friend…I think not! That is not love, that is not friendship….it purely evil…and we all have met that person.

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    • Tela

      Very well said Santaland. And the Sociopath has no real true friends, simply flying monkey’s! 😀

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    • BeenThere

      This is so true. I am gay and my psycopath ex could be any one of your devils. My friends call him satan. The last straw was when he stole my credit cards and when Imcalled the police, he told them I gave them to him to pay for sex. Total bag of lies. Guess what he recently got tatooed on his chest… Veni, Vidi, Vici. Does this not tell you how predictable they are and how their mission is to destroy whatever is in their path? God bless and protect us from these sub-human beings.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Tela

        Thank you BeenThere for your comment. And yes, their mission/agenda/personality is simply to destruct & destroy each & every person they get involved with. I’m sorry you endured what you did. I hope you have put in place No Contact and are able to start healing! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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