A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Goodbye Sociopath Thoughts

When we are involved with a Sociopath, they have the ability to strip us of, our-self. During and after the relationship, your thoughts consume you about the Sociopath. The ‘what if’s, they why’s’, ‘what did I do wrong’ etc. All of these consuming thoughts is because of the Head Fuckery.  

You are to busy focusing on the Sociopath/Ex Sociopath, that you have lost site of you.! Read this, and you are actually better than you think you are!!


20 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are

#1. You paid the bills this month, and maybe even had extra to spend on non-necessities. It doesn’t matter how much you belabored the checks as they went out, the point is that they did, and you figured it out regardless.

#2. You question yourself. You doubt your life. You feel miserable some days. This means you’re still open to growth. This means you can be objective and self-aware. The best people go home at the end of the day and think: “or… maybe there’s another way.”

#3. You have a job. For however many hours, at whatever rate, you are earning money that helps you eat something, sleep on something, wear something every day. It’s not failure if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would – you’re valuing your independence and taking responsibility for yourself.

#4. You have time to do something you enjoy. Even if “what you enjoy” is sitting on the couch and ordering dinner and watching Netflix.

#5. You are not worried about where your next meal is coming from. There’s food in the fridge or pantry, and you have enough to actually pick and choose what you want to eat.

#6. You can eat because you enjoy it. It’s not a matter of sheer survival.

#7. You have one or two truly close friends. People worry about the quantity but eventually tend to realize the number of people you can claim to be in your tribe has no bearing on how much you feel intimacy, acceptance, community, or joy. At the end of the day, all we really want are a few close people who know us (and love us) no matter what.

#8. You could afford a subway ride, cup of coffee, or the gas in your car this morning. The smallest conveniences (and oftentimes, necessities) are not variables for you.

#9. You’re not the same person you were a year ago. You’re learning, and evolving, and can identify the ways in which you’ve changed for better and worse.

#10. You have the time and means to do things beyond the bare minimum. You’ve maybe been to a concert in the last few years, you buy books for yourself, you could take a day trip to a neighboring city if you wanted – you don’t have to work all hours of the day to survive.

#11..You have a selection of clothing at your disposal. You aren’t worried about having a hat or gloves in a blizzard, you have cool clothes for the summer and something to wear to a wedding. You not only can shield and decorate your body, but can do so appropriately for a variety of circumstances.

#12. You can sense what isn’t right in your life. The first and most crucial step is simply being aware. Being able to communicate to yourself: “something is not right, even though I am not yet sure what would feel better.”

#13. If you could talk to your younger self, you would be able so say: “We did it, we made it out, we survived that terrible thing.” So often people carry their past traumas into their present lives, and if you want any proof that we carry who we were in who we are, all you need to do is see how you respond to your inner child hearing, you’re going to be okay, from the person they became.

#14. You have a space of your own. It doesn’t even have to be a home or apartment (but that’s great if it is). All you need is a room, a corner, a desk, where you can create or rest at your discretion; where you govern who gets to be part of your weird little world, and to what capacity. It’s one of the few controls we can actually exert.

#15. You’ve lost relationships. More important than the fact that you’ve simply had them in the first place is that you or your former partner chose not to settle. You opened yourself to the possibility of something else being out there.

#16. You’re interested in something. Whether it’s now how to live a happier life, maintain better relationships, reading or movies or sex or society or the axis on which the world spins, something intrigues you to explore it.

#17. You know how to take care of yourself. You know how many hours of sleep you need to feel okay the next day, who to turn to when you’re heartbroken, what you have fun doing, what to do when you don’t feel well, etc.

#18. You’re working toward a goal. Even if you’re exhausted and it feels miles away, you have a dream for yourself, however vague and malleable.

#19. But you’re not uncompromisingly set on anything for your future. Some of the happiest and best adjusted people are the ones who can make any situation an ideal, who are too immersed in the moment to intricately plan and decidedly commit to any one specific outcome.

#20. You’ve been through HELL. You can look at challenges you currently face and compare them to ones you thought you’d never get over. You can reassure yourself through your own experience. Life did not get easier, you got smarter!!



©Brianna Wiest

18 Responses to “Goodbye Sociopath Thoughts”

  1. I am Titanium

    I was out last night with a group of friends. We sat down at the table randomly and every place had a luggage label with a quote on. Mine read …. ‘Love yourself first and everything else falls into place’. Just like they tell you before a flight, sort your oxygen mask before helping others. A meaningful message for all of us on here. D x


  2. Léa

    An excellent post. I have bookmarked it as it will provide some useful writing prompts for the book I am working on. I won’t be copying anything but it certainly brings back some vivid memories…


    • Tela

      Thank you Lea. If you do copy, just please be sure to give credit to myself and my website. I look forward to reading your book! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am Titanium

    Another great post. Every single one reminded me of how far I have come. No contact is essential in the process and it took me years to fully get there. I hate that I still think of him daily; never in a good way – I don’t love/miss him. I want to get to where he is no longer a negative reference point in my life. He is the shadow that haunts me, the weapon I to give my inner critic when I have (frequent) ‘I’m not good enough’ / ‘life wasn’t supposed to be this way’ thoughts. I have so much good in my life and the YES! I could say to each and every point on the list put a huge smile on my face and in my heart. Love and hugs to all. Xx


  4. Army of Angels

    This is a great list, and every single point is embraced with delight and appreciated far more than before the trip in and out of the darkness of hell. Adjusting to a life of freedom is a process…it feels like it will never happen in the beginning, while struggling to break the bond of betrayal. 💜


  5. 18mitzvot

    This is a really good post. Every one of these achievements reminds me that I deserve a blue ribbon for dragging myself forward a little bit more each day. I think about the well-meaning friends who said “Get over it”. They did not understand what he really did to me behind closed doors. I couldn’t bounce back in a night.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Tela

      Thank you Rivka. You do deserve a Blue Ribbon, Gold Star etc. for like you said literally dragging yourself forward. And no, the well meaning friends have no clue the emotional/mental head fuckery that is done. You will never ‘Get Over It’. That relationship has made you who you are today. I’m proud of you for doing as well as you are. I follow your blog and have read the days that have been craptastic and other’s that have been better. Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge with other’s. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • 18mitzvot

        I can say the same for you, my friend. Your blog makes me think and helps me maintain No Contact. I learn a lot of good stuff from you (:


  6. Debbie

    oh wow this is the validation I’ve been searching, that life is beautiful again 🙂
    I can complete tasks without being interrupted by his text’s and phone calls, or having to deal with the anormus amount of voice messages left if I hadn’t answered his call’s, all of course saying the say thing “Hi darling, it’s only me, trying to get through to you”. I can now put my phone down & forget I’ve even got a phone, that is for me an amazing thing to be able to do, AWESOME!!! 🙂
    Thank you Tela for this

    Liked by 2 people

    • Tela

      Debbie~ I am sooooo HAPPY to read how far you have come! Life is beautiful, we just need to focus on what we have, instead of what we HAD NOT! ❤ ❤


      • Tela

        MeAndDating: I do have not just a ‘sense’ of pleasure and satisfaction, I just simply have it. Even though like I said in one of my post, I have my Master’s in Psychology, I, myself became involved with a horrific Narcissistic Sociopath. Did the relationship last as longs as most of my reader’s? No. I, thankfully had the ‘education’ to see what was happening. Has that Sociopath left me alone? No. You can read about that HERE. I chose and have chosen to continue to have nothing to do with him. But like you, and everyone else, I am still human after all & I do have a breaking point. My thoughts have not and will not be consumed by the Ex Narcissistic Sociopath. We ALL have the ability within us to move past the horrific, hurtful, damaging relationship. And this post is just a reminder of we really are doing better than we think! Thank you for asking the question! ❤


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