A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Automated Human

Sociopaths are like those automated systems we all have to deal with. Be it calling the bank, cell phone provider, a store of any kind, your doctor’s office and so on. You know what I’m talking about. Here is how the Sociopath is no different than an automated system. The Sociopath response will be in italics. 

Why did you just lie about thatplease press one for English

Why can you not answer that question truthfully? I need to transfer you to a different department…… 

How can you be so cold and cruel? i’m sorry i need to close that account…..

how do you justify abusing me? i’m sorry, your account is over-drawn…..

 why can’t you take accountability that you are causing these problems? to return to the main menu, press one…….

has anything i said or did register with you? i‘m sorry, can you repeat that question…..

How could you just walk away so easily? to start over, press the * star key……

It is so frustrating when dealing with a Narcissistic Sociopath. You are constantly trying to ‘reach’ them, deep inside, figure out why they are the way they are. Just like the frustration when dealing with automated systems’s and trying to reach a ‘human’ instead of pressing buttons. A Sociopath can be the same way. You can press ‘buttons’ and get that ‘live human’ but often times they turn into anger raging lunatics, or act as though they have temporary {selective amnesia}. Or the typical Sociopath will blame shift back onto you.  You also find that anything you say really has no bearing as the Sociopath knows everything. Rules, divorce papers, boundaries are simply not in place for them. But you had best follow them. Can we say self righteous? You can continue to press buttons and hope you will get through to the Sociopath, but the reality is…..you never will.

I poured everything i had into you, and you were still empty

©SociopathLife.Com

28 Responses to “Automated Human”

  1. I am Titanium

    Bless you, Kate, I appreciate every word of response, although I am deeply saddened that you and your children have gone through the same things. It is heartbreaking. Over the years I have slowly come to a better place, I just wanted to hold him to account. I think I am realising that I have to pick myself up and chose the road that leads completely away from him as he is so toxic to my soul. These people are anti-life. He is the past and I need to close the door, once and for all. Thank you for your kindness. Xx

    Like

    Reply
    • I am Titanium

      It took less than 48 hours since the court hearing on friday for him to use my attempt at justice for my son against me. The text read…no more controlling and manipulation…you have been warmed about your behaviour…The judge’s lack of interest and telling us to go away and sort it out has betrayed me and fed me to the devil. I am in such pain, he has got it so wrong, you cannot just sort it out, that is why you are there in the first place. The judge just didn’t care that he is lying and falsifying evidence; Mr Perfect has been let off the hook and had his licence to abuse renewed. I am devastated that my children are nothing to him, just weapons. They are automatons, there is nothing anyone can do to change them.

      Like

      Reply
      • Kate

        I understand how heartbreakingly devastating it is to have him continue to be an ass with his smirks that portray how smart he is and how very dumb you are. When he looks at you with feigned pity and sorrow because you are such a dumb weak loser against him. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you the judge is on his side, that the judge doesn’t believe you either. You are correct his children are nothing more to him than possessions. That’s how he views them. They belong to him, he owns them. But if they back him in a corner and push for answers then he’s done. Your children will see him for what he is. He can pretend to love them for show for a while, but it never lasts. Keep your head high.

        Like

  2. Kate

    I recently found your website and it has truly resonated with me and my past life with the narcissist I was married to for 16 long painful years. Even though I have been divorced for seven years and am now happily remarried I still suffer from the effects that relationship had on me and our children. You never really get over the betrayal but you do learn it wasn’t your fault and it’s him who has the problem. I believe betrayal is one of the most painful emotions we can ever feel and one of the hardest to recover from because it shakes us from deep within. But I am here to tell you that life can be wonderful again, you will find yourself and your voice. It’s a tough, tough lesson but I honestly feel that going thru everything I did has in the end made me a better person in spite of all his attempts to destroy me, mentally and physically. Take pride in your survival and your bravery in the face of true evil! You have earned your happiness!

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Kate for your inspiring comment. And I agree the betrayal is so difficult to understand/reconcile/then eventually let go. You find yourself thinking ‘we he said ‘xyz’ what was he really doing? Or when he said he was at a certain place, where was he really”? And so on. Because they, themselves start believing the lies you eventually realize you will get no truth out of them. Thank you again for your comment, and letting other’s know that in the end, we do become much better {stronger} ❤

      Like

      Reply
      • I am Titanium

        Tela, Kate and Dewi, I was moved by your responses to me, thank you. Kate, I had not seen it that way before, so simple, there is nothing to forgive, I did nothing wrong. That is so freeing. Yes, I have learned over years of continuing emotional, verbal, financial and legal abuse that he has the problem BUT he had/has created webs that always come back to everything being my fault…so I couldn’t find away to free my thoughts and forgive myself…you have handed me a very precious gift.
        Thank you. I am due in court, again, next week, I will be going with renewed strength in standing up to his betrayals and lies. I love the Maya Angelou quote…she should be taught in schools! She also wrote, ‘When someone shows you who they are believe them, the first time’ and ‘We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty’. I guess that means, after our sociopath experiences, we all must learn to find and enjoy who we are and the happiness we are now free to feel.

        Like

    • I am Titanium

      Kate, thank you for your kind thoughts, it means a huge amount to me. How incomprehensible (but totally wonderful) that a total stranger can offer so much and inspire us to believe in ourselves when the person who ‘loved’ us has done and will do anything to destroy us. I am in court today, it is a directions hearing and I am hopeful. I now have a good solicitor who sees who/what he is. I had a solicitor before who achieved nothing for me, only serving to empower him. As I am in the UK we do not have Thanksgiving but I hope you and your family and friends had a wonderful time celebrating. To Tela and you all, please know how thankful I am for this online community. Love to you all.

      Like

      Reply
    • I am Titanium

      I am shell shocked and deeply saddened to report the legal system did not enforce any penalties for him hiding income and falsifying evidence to avoid paying a true amount of child maintenance for our son. Even worse, the judge awarded him costs. Based on his reasoning it was clear he had not bothered to read my detailed application. It appears, if I want to attempt to get justice I have to apply for a trial where the penalty for him could be prison. I do not have the resources to pursue this, not now that the judge’s decision means I have lost any faith I had that you can bring a sociopath to justice. They will do anything to avoid accountability and meeting their responsibility to anyone except themselves. A potential prison sentence will not deter the monster, he will feel vindicated and even more invincible after dumping his costs on me. I need your advice, is it time I walked away and stop trying to obtain justice? (To give you a bit more background. He was a huge earner who trashed his job and pretends to earn a pittance whilst maintaining his extravagant lifestyle. We have 2 children, he has abandoned the elder one who stood up to him and smothers the younger, feigning love whilst not wanting to pay for him. I really thought my case was watertight. It is shocking, I had believed the system would make a parent meet their responsibilities.) Sorry Tela if this is not the right place to place this post.

      Like

      Reply
      • Kate

        Titanium, I am so sorry to read the news about your ex. Where was your attorney in all of this? I hope he was speaking up on your behalf. I know firsthand how frustrating it can be going to court over and over. It took me four years to get a divorce because of all his delays and excuses as to why he couldn’t show up on the specified dates. Then one time the judge told us to not come back and to try to mediate the divorce. He never got even a slap on the wrist for his contemps of court. I don’t know about the UK but in the USA the last people a judge wants to see is a couple trying to divorce, they see it as a waste of their time. Or so I was told in court. So no sympathy for judges from me. Is it possible to do a forensic accounting there to see where and how much money he has? That is what we did. It uncovered several things my ex was hiding financially.
        As to your question as to keep fighting or not, I really can’t answer without knowing your finances. If you can make it on your own, that is the best solution. It’s not fair, but life isn’t fair. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on. Just remember you are free of having to deal with him on a daily basis and there is no price on freedom. Your sanity is worth more than the money if you can financially make it on your own.
        I know it seems impossible to you now at this moment, but he will hang himself eventually, given enough rope. They can’t seem to help themselves. They are their own worst enemy. They are very miserable people inside and misery loves company. Their whole world is a lie, a sham, an act. They really never feel anything except anger.
        Will you ever be able to extract any kind of remorse from him? Sadly, no you won’t. They cannot, will not go there for it is too painful to admit to themselves that they are in the wrong. That’s just a fact you have to live with. Yes, they gloat and smirk and try to convince you they are the winners, but in reality they are the losers at every turn. They never know genuine love for anyone except themselves and I really think deep down they even hate themselves. The best revenge, if you will, is to lead a happy life and be indifferent to them. Any response to a sociopath/narcissist is better than none. When you reach the point of indifference he won’t get to you as bad anymore. His remarks and attitude will be nothing more to you than useless chatter. It will roll off your back because you no longer care what he says or does. The people who love and care for you know better and those who don’t, don’t matter.
        Your sons are what’s important. You may have to deal with him in the childcare arena of your son but it should be done quickly and with as few words as possible. No matter if you have to take your son to him or he picks him up. Children are way smarter than we give them credit for. Let your son make up his own mind about his father. He will see through the lies and disappointments for himself. Then you have to be there for him and he will come to know mom as his safe haven if he already hasn’t. My oldest sons both went through what your oldest son did. My ex eventually told them they were dead to him. Once your son gets old enough to standup for himself it will probably happen with your youngest too. Your ex will realize the gig is up and he will cut himself out of his life.
        Sorry to have written so much. I just know how frustrating, overwhelming and lonely this time is for you. Don’t despair, keep your head up, march forward and never look back. The best is yet to be!
        Always here for you anytime!
        Kate

        Like

  3. Live and learn / Dewi

    We must learn from our past and help others with their future. I am trying my best to forgive and I think I am almost there.

    Thanks to you and others on here 🙂

    Dewi

    Like

    Reply
    • I am Titanium

      I am struggling with forgiving myself…for being blind to my situation for 20 years. I am enormously grateful for Tela’s site and others where we can learn and understand that it isn’t us but we do have a responsibility for getting safe and keeping ourselves (and others) safe. Just so sad there is such a need for so many of us. Thank you to you all for being everything the sociopaths will never be.

      Like

      Reply
      • Tela

        Forgive yourself; your not perfect. Show yourself Grace; you are still learning. Show yourself Patience; you’re still on a journey!!! ❤ ❤

        Like

      • Live and learn / Dewi

        Titanium be patient, you will feel better and life will be good again, start slowly your not the bad person but the victim, your not weak just kind and caring, trust in your friends and family. Dewi xx

        Like

      • Kate

        Titanium you didn’t know what or who you were dealing with. You have no reason to forgive yourself, you did nothing wrong. You fell in love with the best intentions. You can’t change the past but you can start living YOUR life today. Don’t waste anymore time trying to forgive yourself, you didn’t know.
        When you know better, do better. –Maya Angelou

        Like

      • Kate

        Titanium, you have been on my mind and in my prayers all week. I hope court went well or at least not worse than you expected. Hang in there, the best is yet to be! Have a great Thanksgiving holiday and think only good thoughts I will be thinking of you!
        Kate

        Like

  4. I am Titanium

    You are so right, RUN and cherish the good people in our lives. These types are just evil and put the LIE into LIfE. No more…it takes time. Whilst life for me now is often challenging (thanks to his relentless need to punish me for escaping and the turmoil he generates to maintain his image) I am so glad I am well away from him and I can see him for what he really is. Even if that means hearing the truth that the life you lived was a sham…he said he met her after he left in 2011 (after I didn’t commit the suicide, he was pushing me towards, thank God) it turned out he was using our mortgage money to rent a house for her (before they met, how clever!). Just last week I heard it had been well established in 2008. My old life was a complete lie. Now I live my way in my truth. It’s hard but at least it’s real.

    Like

    Reply
  5. Live and learn

    I confronted my ex, and she denied having any involvent with her current boyfriend and still see’s the father of her kids to keep him sweet. To be honest i feel really lucky to be out of it now, but still struggle with the lie of our relantionship and how much i fell in love with who i thought she was. And find it hard to forget the good times we had although it ment nothing to her and all to me. The best advise i can give is RUN RUN RUN AND KEEP RUNNING. They create a lot of damage and hurt but with good family and friends we can rebuild and learn thet unfortuanetly there are bad (sick) people out there.upwards and onwards xx

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you for your comment. Yes, I agree ‘run’, however you can’t ‘run’ from the past. Eventually you will have to work through {as best you can} reconcile the damage she caused and let it go. She is a master manipulator. It’s natural to think of the ‘good times’ and even miss her. That is part of healing. It’s keeping the No Contact in place is the only way to keep moving forward. xx

      Like

      Reply
  6. I am Titanium

    Hi, yet another spot on post! Absolutely resonated with me and even made me smile as I am wading through his latest comedy book (court paper)! He lies as easily as he breathes, perhaps even more so. It is heartbreaking the depths he will sink to. For the first time in the hideous 4 year divorce process I have glimpsed feeling sadness for what it must be like to be so empty and need to constantly create new whirlwinds whilst maintaining his perfect persona. I LOVED the last sentence/quote. He is the man ‘5 year old’ with crumbs all over his face and a empty plate who takes the ‘cake’ from his own kids and denies it and blames me (for something he hasn’t done??!!). Oh and I’m the crazy one, of course! Please keep posting, it really makes a difference. Thank you.

    Like

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you Debbi for your comment. Sometimes we do feel sadness for these hollow individuals, and think how sad it is that they are skirting outside of society, never fully engaged. Yes, they can maintain a perfect persona, but eventually even that mask falls off, then their true vile, horrific, angry self shines through. It’s difficult, at best when you keep ‘pressing buttons’ and hoping a real live, emotionally connected person emerges. But they never do.

      Like

      Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you for your comment. I like the correlation as it’s a constant effort trying to reach the real human inside them. That for most, does not exist.

      Like

      Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you my dear friend Kimberly! Your words always bring a 😀 to my face, and a moment of ‘peace’ is this otherwise Un-Peaceful phase! Love & hugs to you, for your wisdom, your strength, and simply just being you! ❤

      Like

      Reply

Your Thoughts:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: