A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Suspended Animation

Suspended Animation is a medical term which ‘is the slowing or stopping of life processes by exogenous or endogenous means without termination. Breathing, heartbeat, and other involuntary functions may still occur, but they can only be detected by artificial means.’ What a perfect way to describe the relationship with a Narcissistic Sociopath.

Over the course of months or years with them, they slowly stop your life process. This is done by complete emotional and mental control. The Sociopath has one agenda, and one agenda only: to fulfill there own personal happiness. Period. Nothing more. How do they place you in Suspended Animation? Here is a list, and in italics is the Sociopath

  • sympathy~ you don’t love me, you don’t care about me, you never do anything for me
  • guilt~ if you wouldn’t have done xyz, then I would not be acting like this.
  • blame shift~ I did xyz because 18 fucking years ago you said ___________(fill in the blank)
  • character assassination ~ if you wouldn’t walk/talk/breath like you do then we wouldn’t have these problems
  • lies ~ i didn’t lie, you just think i did. {i could put so many examples here but it would take up 100 pages of web space}
  • hypercritical~ any & everything is wrong with you! I don’t have any issues they are all in your head. 
  • Privacy~ what I am doing is none of your business, who I see or speak to, but I am to know everything about you
  • therapy~ you need to go to therapy, you have some serious issues. 
  • dual-lives~ I can do what I want since you don’t love me, you don’t take care of me, you don’t need to know what I do.
  • entitlement~ well because i am so wonderful and there is nothing wrong with me, i am entitled to say/do whatever
  • manipulation~ if you don’t do/say xyz I am leaving you. I’m sick of your shit, your crazy! 

This is just a very short list of what the Sociopath does to you that puts you in Suspended Animation. Yes, your still living, breathing….but your thoughts, feelings and emotions are all involuntary as the Sociopath has completely worn you down. It is like you are disconnected from your emotional self {suspended animation}, because of the constant lies from them. The constant put downs, the constantly wondering ‘what is wrong with us? Me?”, the never ending arguments because you don’t understand. The continual questioning of your very own self worth. Wondering how much more do you need/needed to give to keep them happy? At what point were/are they ever going to be honest and truthful? Questioning over and over how they played the loving partner all the while sucking every bit of your emotional stability out of you. And I’m sure you have your own list of other ways the Sociopath ruined you.

Suspended Animation is done with anesthesia {surgery/c-sections etc}. So look at your life with the Sociopath as being under their anesthesia~ nothing was real, nothing was true, nothing really existed. Waking up from the anesthesia is the hardest part. Believe me, I know! I also know, it can be done. There will always be lingering effects from the anesthesia of the Sociopath, but as time goes on, even those anesthesia affects you will no longer feel on a daily basis.

“I could never hurt him enough to make his betrayal stop hurting. And it hurts, in every part of my body.”  veronica roth


2 Responses to “Suspended Animation”

  1. sweetpinkstrawberries

    I am somewhat still recently new alone(about 3 months having lived apart) from my exbf who very much was a sociopath. However some examples you gave here, I actually started using on him about 3 months before I was able to “escape”. I told him he needed therapy and probably a few others, I even had to lie a bit to safe myself so I could find a place to live. When a partner becomes aware they are being abused (it took 9 years into being with him for me to even know that emotional and psychological abuse were a thing, after researching physical abuse that started July 2013 with him) at what point do you end up acting much like the narcissist in response to their dealings? I want to ask my therapist today if I am one lately because I feel so bad how I put a huge wall up against my ex and did awful things to him back, I didn’t back down, I fought dirty like he always had. It scares me I was capable of what felt to me as pure venom hatred towards another human. It was honestly quite out of character of me the last 10 or so years with him, I felt like I was trapped in a corner and fought back so hard to save myself. I guess I still wonder if him accusing me of the being the abuser to everyone he knows after I moved out is still manipulating and controlling me into guilt for protecting myself. He would grope or hit first, I would ask for him to stop, he would continue and I would hit back finally, he would yell “don’t hurt me”. I would stand back and say, you aren’t staying out of my space or listening to my words, I warned you. His response “you are trying to hurt me, i am not trying to hurt you.”….He made me feel like what he had done physically to me didn’t happen. I was going bat crazy.


    • Tela

      Thank you for your comment. You didn’t end up acting like the Narcissist, you were protecting yourself {emotionally & physically} against him. That was temporary !! You are now aware of who and what you had been involved with. You know right from wrong behaviour. You have a conscience and do not use your mind {& body} as control over another. That is what he was doing to you, manipulating your mind, making you believe YOU were the reason for the problems. NO! You were NOT! For you to even begin researching what was going on in your life should tell you, that, you are NOT a Narcissist Sociopath. You knew things were not as they should be in a mutually loving, respectful relationship. As far as putting the ‘wall up’ that is a self-defense, to protect yourself from further abuse by him. So you did awful things back, and didn’t back down. That does NOT make you a Narcissist. Again, you were and are protecting yourself from further emotional and physical abuse! I’m glad your going to therapy, as you are on a long road to healing. And yes, the Narcissist has a great ability to make us think we are bat shit crazy! We are not, we are simply compassionate, loving individuals beat down by sick individuals.

      Liked by 1 person


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