Just the title of this post can make your head spin. And this is exactly what a Sociopath does with their words. They are master’s at taking your words and twisting and turning them back on you as if you are the crazy one.
Have you noticed that when you confronted your narcissist, Sociopath about a lie, they have an innate ability to make you question yourself if in fact they did lie? This is called deflection and manipulation. Why do they do this? A Sociopath is never, ever, ever wrong? Correct? Well, in their convoluted minds anyway. We know in fact when they lie, cheat, steal, emotionally, physically & financially abuse. Will they ever admit to that? Absolutely not! So the way they take that accountability off of them is by deflecting your accusations and manipulating your words, and twisting and turning the truth back onto you!
You have ‘evidence’ that your Narcissist, Sociopath has been unfaithful. Or you see text messages, or emails from other’s. Or maybe money is missing. Maybe also lying to family & friends about you? You decide to confront the Sociopath, and rather admit to the truth, staring straight at the evidence, they will deflect your words, or throw the blame card down. This takes the accusation off of them, and throws it right back onto you. If you continue to push for the truth, they then manipulate, twist & turn your words, talk in circles that you almost believe their
lies words of denial. Narcissist & Sociopaths use multi-layers of lies. Because it goes against every grain in their body to admit to a fault, to a lie, to a defeat, they will just lie on top of lie on top of lie.
So how do you get the answers? How do you get to the truth? First and foremost, you need to believe in whatever ‘evidence’ or ‘lie’ you are confronting your Sociopath about. If you in fact know it to be the truth, do not delude yourself into believing the Sociopath, unless they admit to your evidence. Yes, it is much easier to drop it, and just let your Sociopath mentally masturbate your further. But all that does is allow them to continue the cycle you are in. You are enabling your Sociopath to continue the lies, abuse, neglect, manipulation and deflection. Basically you are telling them, with and without words, their actions are completely acceptable. They need to be held accountable for their words & actions.
And the best way to do this, is by confronting them, evidence in hand, talk to them clearly and concisely. Do not allow the deflection or manipulation to happen, keep going back to the one issue at hand. Yes, they will probably bring up their goldfish dying at age 7 that was your fault, or any other situation that always seems to be your fault. Don’t get caught up in that, stay in the moment with the one issue. If your patient enough, and your Sociopath has not put you in the insane asylum, eventually, hopefully, they will get to a semi-cognizant state of mind and you can once again confront them. But be mindful, it is doubtful, at best, that you will ever get them to admit to anything. So take your facts, evidence, and anything else you have and make yourself believe, once again, you are not dealing with a ‘normal’, truthful, emotionally available individual. And most likely will never get an admission, confession, or truth. But, what you do get, is that the Sociopath is aware that you are onto them. Not always a good thing, as they will just go further into the control factor, try harder with the manipulation and deflection, and have you dancing to more of the twist and turning of words.
“I’m sorry if you don’t like my honesty, but to be fair I don’t like your lie’s” unknown