“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” albert einstein
Your goal is to leave your Narcissist Sociopath. How do you go about doing this, with the least amount of warfare? Think back to when you met them, how quickly the relationship progressed. How blindly you were sucked into their world of crazy. You will move the same way in leaving.
- Make yourself understand that this is the best and right thing to do. You have been living in a perpetual state of unhappiness and pain, along with a continual deliberate & methodical attack on your personality. How long do you want to continue? So once you make the decision to leave, stick with it!! That is the very first step, without being 100% certain, you will never achieve the goal of leaving. With certainty comes clarity.
- You will need to tell a trusted friend and/or family members of your intention to leave the abusive relationship. These people will need to understand the necessity that the sociopath is not made aware of your goal.
- Financial plan: money is a means to an end. Do you have a job? Can you afford to live on your own? Take a good look at your financial situation and what you can and cannot do. Reach out to whomever you need to so they can help you execute your plan in leaving. Whatever your financial situation at the moment is, does not mean it will stay that way! Plan accordingly! Leaving the abuse is what you are doing in the short term, once away from the narcissist sociopath you will re-evaluate your finances and plan accordingly.
- Living arrangement plan: Where are you going to live? If you have to leave the home, start looking into renting an apartment or condo. Or if you have a friend you can move in with on the short term (until you can move into your own place). If you are staying in the home, and the Narcissist Sociopath has to leave, you will need to have that happen in one day! Yes, I said one day! While they are at work, or out
screwing arounddoing whatever they do outside the home. Pack their clothes, personal item, etc. in boxes, tapped up and ready to go. Have new locks ready to be installed once they leave for the day. If you have an alarm, change the code, same with the garage door opener. Be prepared for a world war when they get back. You may want to have family and/or friends present so you do not have to face the Sociopath alone. You may also need to put into place a protective order if the abuser threatens you. Do not let fear get in the way of rational thinking! This is also when the no contact is put into place.
- The mind game plan: now you are away from the sociopath and your mind starts to tell you ‘maybe you made a mistake’, ‘maybe i should have tried one more time to work it out’ etc. Or the sociopath contacts you (because you did not stick with the no contact), and professes their unending love, and how sorry they are this happened. Or, they may even threaten you if you do not let them back in the home, or if you do not get back into the relationship. When this happens, you have to tell yourself over, and over, and over, and over one more time why you left to begin with. Their tears, their professions of love, the threats are all about control! You need to control your own mind, and be stronger than the sociopath.
These are suggestions to help you move forward into a mentally and emotionally healthy environment. If you have children, further plans will need to be in place for your to reach your goal. There is not one person who can tell you what to do, only you can make the choice to leave and put the plans into place. Just understand, you are not alone. You may need to reach out to your states Health & Human Services and/or Domestic Violence Help Guide, which has listing for the US, and a Worldwide Directory of Services. Trusted family and friends…..the first step is setting a goal.
Leave the past behind as there is no future in it.