A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

10 Things to Stop From The Sociopath

As we know, life is to short to allow our happiness to be dictated by someone else. Now that you are away from the pathological sociopath lies, the sociopath cheating, the sociopath deceptions, here are 10 things to stop doing after life with a sociopath.

1  Stop running from your problems.  We are not made to instantly solve  problems. The sociopath causes a truck load of problems from mental, emotional to financial. One of our purposes of living is to learn and adapt to problems, however, we do not need to adapt to the verbal and emotional abuse from a sociopath. Write your problems down, solve them one at a time. Don’t run from them.

2Stop holding onto the past. Was life that fabulous with the sociopath? Are you missing the lies? Are you missing the abuse? Are you missing the feeling of how insignificant you were to the sociopath? Holding on to the ‘happy moments’ will not allow you to move onto the next chapter.

3Stop being scared to make a mistake. You were probably beat down and berated from the sociopath for something they considered a ‘mistake’. It’s OK to make them, you are after all, only human. You are not your mistakes, everything that has happened is to prepare you for a moment that has yet to come.

4  Stop looking to other’s for happiness. Before someone else can you love you, you must love yourself. And ask this, did your sociopath really love you? Happiness is also derived from love, be your own supply of love right now. Be your own happiness! 😀

5Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The sociopath may have left your life in shambles, and for sure the abuse done by them will most likely leave lifelong scars. What positive comes out of feeling sorry for yourself? It’s OK to occasionally revisit the past and feel sorry for what you endured, but stop letting this be a motivating factor for not healing and moving forward.

6Stop living with hate. You hate the sociopath for hurting you. You hate the sociopath for the pathological lying they did. You hate the sociopath for {insert your hate here}…..Stop with the hate and forgive. Forgiving the sociopath is not saying what you did to me is OK, it is saying to yourself the sociopath will not let hate live in me.

7Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. Unless your friends or family have personally been involved with a sociopath they don’t need your explanations. And your enemies will not believe you. If you have children with the sociopath, be an example of who they are, not a cause.  Meaning, the sociopath most likely has a negative effect on the children, stop explaining that, and stop explaining yourself. Just do what is right in your own heart.

8Stop worrying so much. By worrying you are stripping yourself of momentary happiness, the same things you are worrying about today, will be there tomorrow. Unless you start doing what i listed in #1. The damage from the sociopath is done! You are now in control of your future, but stop worrying so much about it. Give time…..time.

9Stop being idle. The sociopath put you on the crazy train to nowhere, and now your off. Don’t be idle in your hurt and confused state. Evaluate your current situation and make a decisive action. Most actions make us grow out of our comfort zone. And the comfort zone with the sociopath could not have been all that blissful.

10Stop being ungrateful. We tend to focus on what we missed in our lives with a sociopath. The sociopath took so much from us, that it is easy to become ungrateful. Think about what you do have that other’s are missing. Right this moment think of one thing you are grateful for! What is it?

©sociopathlife.com

13 Responses to “10 Things to Stop From The Sociopath”

  1. Chris

    Tela,
    Thank you. Short, sweet and to the point. This post is helping to motivate me to turn that final corner. My final corner being to stop being idle. Spent too much time feeling sorry for myself and too little time focusing on moving forward. . Also, spot on advice about the waste of effort trying to explain yourself to people who don’t want to hear it and/or wouldn’t understand anyway. Only a survivor or an experienced counselor could.
    I just regret how long and complete the destruction has been. Took best part of 3 years to understand what has happened and accept it. That part is done. Now I must put this shit in the rearview mirror. Another thing……only asking God to help me let go of the anger and and pain I was holding onto was I able to begin to do that. So, for anyone struggling with this…..have faith there is no better help in healing than asking God to help see you past troubled times. Its still a struggle, but an improved frame of mind is necessary to bury the shit where it belongs. How does that saying go? When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Right? Bullshit. That is the number 1 wrong answer….. Take the lemons, put them in the freezer and throw them at the face of the person responsible for delivering them!!!! Get revenge! All joking aside. You can have revenge. The best revenge is to live well. It will be bitter to our abuser to not only overcome, but to do so in grand fashion. That is sweet revenge.

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  2. Karen

    I am currently trying to get out of a relationship with a narc. sociopath that I have known since I was a child, been married to for 13 years and involved with for 24. There are too many things to ignore or explain away anymore. I worry that I don’t hate him, but his choices. I do feel bad for him, but hate what he has done and realize FINALLY they are never going to change. We have children and I am afraid that if I don’t make the changes now and heal myself, my children could end up like him. I could not live with that. Is this something you are born with or learned? I need to know how to best keep this from happening to them and find a way for all of us to best survive this.

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    • Tela

      Karen…..first off, you need to focus on YOU & THE CHILDREN from this point forward. You CANNOT change your husband! You cannot change his personality, his character. No, he was not ‘born that way’….it is learned behaviour in a person’s formative years. If you truly feel he is a Narcissistic Sociopath you must seek help! And also have your husband seek a therapist so that you just don’t assume he has an ASPD {even though he may manipulate the therapist with answers/questions}, most can see through the bullshit. You don’t need to ‘hate’ him. He had/has choices and he chooses to be who he is. Like I said, you cannot change him!!

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  3. betternotbroken

    There is so much I could say about this post, I do not know where to begin. I wish I had understood that I was with a sociopath 5 years ago, had this list and been better able to help myself sooner. But this list is a good reminder or To-Do list for anyone striving to be a healthy, ordered person.

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    • Tela

      Thank you @betternotbroken.wordpress.com for you comment. Even with this list, the sociopath is manipulative in their lying, that it can leave you second guessing their lie. If that makes sense. And your right, it is a great To-Do list for everyone who is striving to be a healthy ordered person~ i like that! Thank you 😀

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  4. Teela Hart

    Ha! 6, 7, 8 and 9. Oh hell, and 1-10 all in the same day sometimes. Great reminders. I was on the crazy train far too long. GREAT POST. You’ve been a great support Tela. Love ya Sister Survivor.

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    • Tela

      Thank you my dear Teela! You have been a wonderful sister survivor and friend to me. I appreciate your kind words, and your support on my craptastic days! Luv ya!

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  5. armyofangels2013

    Number 7 really hit home…AMEN! Rebuilding a life after the socio/psychopath is the biggest challenge I have faced. I see so many who are easily defeated by this challenge…I hope to be an encourager…a healer…. Thank you for encouraging others!

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