A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Dating After Sociopath

Dating-

Getting over a relationship and/or marriage with a Narcissist, Sociopath is a wonderful achievement. And yes, it is an achievement! However, it’s not much of an achievement if you stay inside watching Netflix™ all weekend when your ready to move forward in your life.

These are some suggestions on getting out and finding an epic functional(not dysfunctional) mutually loving relationship. And this includes leaving all of your beat up baggage behind you. Sure, the scar’s will forever remain, but  you can and will cover those scar’s with love. Is anyone really ever ready to start dating? Or do we find ourselves watching the world go by and we are on the outside, alone, wondering when we will be ready? Truth is, you will know when your ready and you will take a totally different approach the next time~hopefully.

  • take small concrete steps back into dating~with the right effort, the right thinking and the right action, your actions will have good intentions and will be purposeful, yet  also hopeful and not forced.
  • Online Dating~personally, I would never do this, simply because I feel it is a HUGE playing field for Narcissist and Sociopath’s to prey upon someone and gather what could be a lot of information with a click of a button. However, if you are comfortable with online dating, then set up a profile and see what happens. I found this quiz online, and I actually laughed because as we know SO WELL, a Sociopath cannot and/or will not tell the truth, so this test is easily manipulated like anything else they do. And with online dating it would be easy to get discourage if all the ’emails’, ‘winks’ etc are from someone 20+ years older than you! I have seen the ‘success’ commercials, so if your good with online dating, then go for it!
  • Tell Your Friends your ready to date~your friends probably attended your pity parties during the dysfunctional relationship with your Sociopath. So they are aware of what you have been through, and can ‘screen’ some potential dates!
  • When your out and about doing errands, really take notice of the people around you. If your in line, start up a conversation. Random I know, but then again you never know what can come of it. Cease any opportunity. And especially if these people are at say a Pet Store, or Wine Market then there is already some similarities to your likes.
  • Church and/or Support Groups~excellent way to meet someone who has been through what you have, or has a Spiritual foundation similar to you. Remember, you just came out of Polar Opposite and someone giving you an illusion they had the qualities you were looking for.

After you meet someone, and start dating, remember these few things:

  • Be ‘present’ on the date. Don’t fast forward to your future and imagine what your unborn children will look like. And don’t have preconceived thoughts about if and when things will progress. Just enjoy the moment of the date 🙂
  • Don’t get frustrated easily. Yes, you have put a lot of effort to get where you are, and don’t want the frustration factor setting in. Example~you really like someone and they haven’t replied to your text or phone call, or you have one bad date. Or you have gone on multiple dates and find yourself at the end thinking ‘bleh’. Tell yourself your taking your time and you owe it to you! 
  • How easy it is to interpret what someone said as ‘this is to personal’, or ‘this is a red flag’. After coming out of a relationship with a Sociopath, your defenses are up (understandably), and there is about a level of zero trust. No one say’s you have to have a repeat date….it’s about choices now (remember the choices you had but did not matter when you were involved with the Sociopath?) Lower the defenses, and take control 🙂

Dating should be fun!! And not a traumatic experience that you dread more and more. Keep yourself centered! And remember, it’s about YOU!

©sociopathlife.com  ©sociopathworld.wordpress.com

20 Responses to “Dating After Sociopath”

  1. Dating After A Sociopath | Dating and Relationships

    Dating After Sociopath | SociopathLife.Com – Dating After Sociopath By Tela. Getting over a relationship and/or marriage with a Narcissist, Sociopath is a wonderful achievement. And yes, it is an achievement! […]

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  2. H.G. Beverly

    I’m seven years out from a 9 year marriage to a sociopath, and I’m not fully recovered. Why? Because he still comes after me through our children. When they’re hurting, it’s not over. And I’ve been asking and paying for help (for them) the whole time with not a lot of success. Sociopaths dupe the system. My advice? Get as far away from a sociopath as you possibly can. Learn to find and appreciate real love. Protect yourself. Protect your children. Protect your life.

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  3. revgerry

    Love this post and good luck. For myself, I had to know that I had changed enough that a healthy man might be attracted to me. I set myself a couple of years to accomplish that. The result for me is that I have now been 18 years in the best relationship of my life. Take it slow, and remember you liked “exciting” before, or I did. Have fun!

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    • Tela

      Ahhhh Gerry, always words of wisdom!! Question, how did you know ‘changed enough’ and changed in what way? for some man to be attracted? Thank you, as always, for your comment.

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      • revgerry

        I had given myself a full year solitude unless I was working, and no TV or other distractions, when I focused on journaling, therapy, healing, spirituality and on learning self-love. And, though I had stopped the solitary part, I had stopped looking for a relationship months beforehand. I was 2 and a half years out of inpatient treatment when we started dating, if that matters. Good luck to you.

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      • Tela

        a full year of solitude would be next to impossible for me, given my career and school. Thank you Gerry~ for your insight. 🙂

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  4. damedessa

    I just got out of my first dating “relationship” with a sociopath and these are GREAT tips. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through, despite us only dating a couple of months. It amazes me people out there are like that! Thanks for the great post. Our sociopath post on our blog is titled “The San Francisco Sociopath,” if you’d like to check it out. 🙂

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    • Tela

      Thank you for you comment @down2date.wordpress.com . It is and will always amaze me how fluidly the Sociopath’s blend into society. I followed your blog and looking forward to reading your great post! 🙂

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  5. eoftheu2014

    Love it, Tela. I’m not ready yet … still working on me. I know right now I’ll be looking at men sideways for awhile which is the one thing I’m going to have to work on. Funny thing is I realize I have a pattern of choosing the wrong men, I realize I have to trust me and my judgment again!

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    • Tela

      Thanks for the comment EoftheU 🙂 I find myself putting most guys into the asshole-ism category (unfairly).

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