A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Sick Again !

stock-photo-hypochondriasis-health-anxiety-concept-focus-on-the-word-hypochondriac-56051911

Hypochondriac definition should also contain the words  ‘sociopath, psychopath, narcissist’  somewhere in it.

How many of us deal with a sociopath/psychopath, who, when they get a cold it’s the end of the world for them? Not just a cough, and congestion, but there’s is a cold unlike any known to mankind! And with the same cold {that we have all had at one time or another}, a sociopath is unable to even function!!

Eleven months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I now equate my socio to the breast cancer! Both are toxic to my health and both are battles.  In the months following the diagnosis, i went through surgery, radiation, chemo etc. There were days, of course, that I didn’t feel so good. However, I was still able to function! I still manage to get to work and be productive, I even managed to get out of bed!! {insert sarcasm}. A sociopath can have a symptom of something, and the next thing you know they have some rare disease only found in the remotest part of the Madagascar Rain Forest {of which he had never been}. And as we know the elaborate details in the lies sociopath’s tell us, we could almost believe them. So I found myself, at least 4-5 times a month calling bullshit on my sociopath’s  “Disease of the Week” .

Once we realize exactly who and what our sociopath’s/psychopath’s/narcissist  are, it is nearly impossible to have any sympathy when they cry ‘sick again‘. How many times have you needed your sociopath to take care of something while you were ill? Or go pick something up or even answer the phone and they never followed through? This blogger wrote an excellent post about the inability of a sociopath, psychopath to have any sympathy for her, and actually even goes on to physically attack her!   But when they are sick….again, they are relentless in the needing of us to take care of them. Which is very unusual given they are empty void of compassion and/or sympathy.

Many {not all} Sociopath’s, Psychopath’s, Narcissist have anxiety issues, which go hand in hand with their poor impulse control. This anxiety also cause’s them to be Sick Again. Anxiety creates emotional chaos for us , and also is a cause of PTSD in victim’s {survivors} of these toxic relationships.   Anxiety is not contagious, however, it can create a certain level of anxiousness and/or defensiveness in us, the victim. Wondering when the next verbal war will take place, or the blame-game starts, or in one blogger’s situation, the disappearing act.  Or in this bloggers case watching the XNarcassist parade in his door with his next victim  girlfriend. With this anxiety going on, it can also create depression in you, even if you had never had depression. And with other’s it will exacerbate the depression, making it even more difficult to take care of themselves physically and emotionally.  {side note:My XSocio also had panic attacks along with his anxiety that he blamed on his ex-wifeHe is also an alcoholic {a different post to come}, which magnifies  his anxiety and panic attacks.

There are many ways to deal with and cope with anxiety. However, you have to be removed from the situation causing this in you, and for some that is truly impossible. Even with the no contact in place, you may still have to be exposed to the Sick Again person.  Remember, you are not the cure for their sickness, you  are only  a supply source  for it. 

14 Responses to “Sick Again !”

  1. Fellow Survivor

    Yes, it was the x. Still trying to just get motivated again to do pretty much of anything. 25 years and nothing to show for it, except one great kid. Being involved with these people is like being in one long drawn out boxing match. In the end, we are just so worn out we can barely lift our arms or our spirits or just about anything.

    I once made this statement to her ” either you know what you are doing is wrong which makes you evil or you don’t know what you are doing is wrong which makes you an idiot.” Trust me. She is not an idiot.

    I even once told her straight out ” you are just using me” and she responded ” yes, I am using you” But, But, But, that was reinforced by her saying to me ” but I know you will never leave your/our daughter” The translation to that statement was ” I can do whatever the hell I want to do and you will just take it for the sake of our daughter”

    i have been at this recovery thing a pretty long time but am no where near being done with it. The x father-in-law is a super narc and the x wife is his golden child so I should have seen it coming but didn’t want to face reality for whatever reason.

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    • Tela

      I think you did face reality, I think as a person with

        real feelings and real emotions

      you were hoping she would change. And sadly, they do not even realize they are so disconnected that they believe there is nothing to change. They continue through life, using and abusing people. There is no time limit on recovery, each person is unique and reconciles things differently. Try not to be to hard on yourself. You have to love YOU! Also, you will need to get to a point to forgive her, that does not mean you accept what she did, that means you accept that all the love, care, compassion you had for her was not reciprocated, therefore, you forgive her for lacking such great human emotions. And then hopefully starting putting it all behind you.

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  2. Fellow Survivor

    Hi Tella. I have been reading your blog over the last couple days and really enjoy your writing style, although the subject is disturbing.

    Over a 4 year period I needed to have two outpatient surgeries and my X N would not even take me. We had been married for over 20 years at the time. Then when she tore her ACL I dutifully took her to the surgery, tended to her like a nurse for the first week of recovery, took her to her therapy sessions etc.

    One Christmas I got the flue and was in bed for 3 days. A couple years later she told me ” I hope you don’t get sick again because I had to do all the work around here” Why couldn’t she have said something like ” oh honey, I hope you don’t get sick again I remember how badly you felt” Its all about them.

    I think maybe the best hope to cure the Narcissists/Psychopath would be to make them sit and watch every episode of “Barney the purple dinosaur”.

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    • Tela

      Thank you for your comment Fellow Survivor. I am so sorry you were involved with and then a victim of a Sociopath. These people are ruthless, and no no bounds! I laughed at the Barney comment~ 😀

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      • Fellow Survivor

        Really, Barney teaches children how to play nice. One episode has a lesson about selfishness ” Me first me first go away” is the song. An episode about lying, stealing, being a bully, sharing, etc. and of course the great ” I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family song” Every lesson in the show was somehow never learned by these people.

        The show is aimed at an audience in the 2 to 7 year old age range so it would be a perfect fit for “re-training” the Narc Psychopaths”. The only problem is that the brain most likely can’t be “re-wired” in the later stages in life.

        The crazy part for me is that I am still obsessing about it 10 months later.

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      • Tela

        I’m not sure what you mean by ‘obsessing about it 10 months later, but if the it is your Ex somehow you need to reconcile who and what you were involved with, and realize you may never have the answer to your questions, you most likely will not understand how another human could so viciously hurt you and then walk away, and how that person has no conscience to the destruction they left in their path. Read this link, maybe it will help you.

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  3. Constance

    It would be a service to the world to put their pictures everywhere. Or maybe stick them all on an island where they have no one but themselves to screw with.

    When I was pregnant with my oldest I found a lump in my right breast. They waited till after I had my daughter before having me go in for a biopsy. Wouldn’t you know the day I was to go in is the day my ex husband decided it would be a great day to start a fight with me, about what I can’t remember any longer. I just remember saying to him, “Now, you think NOW is the time to do this?!?” I was lucky that it was not cancer, although my ex husband surely is. 😉

    It is always, ALWAYS, always about them, and if you forget that they will be sure to remind you. They are forever that bottomless pit of suck.

    I’m sorry you had to deal with that, fighting for your life from a person and a disease. I’m so glad you made it through. 🙂

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    • Tela

      Thank you @thephoenixagain.wordpress.com for your kind comment. And how right you are about the ‘bottomless pit of suck’. It’s physically and mentally exhausting dealing with these kinds of people! How did we survive???!!!! On a side note~i hope you follow up regularly with your mammogram! 🙂

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      • Constance

        It is. I don’t know how you did it Tela, but I’m so glad you did. 🙂

        They don’t push mammograms here until you hit 40. (this year for me) I had one other scare after having my youngest, which turned out to be nothing. Thank goodness.

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      • Tela

        Thank you @thephoenixagain.wordpress.com! And celebrate well your 4-0! It only comes around once (unlike Sociopath’s, Psychopath’s & Narcissist) who can’t leave us alone until they are ready! LOL

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  4. Tela

    I think a lot of people can agree to having been involved with a ‘poster child of Narcissist’. Thank you for your post {and clarification 🙂 }

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    • eoftheu2014

      I was being humorous. It does lend something to it when you realize this man has a different woman in his bed every single night. One leaves in the morning and there is a different one at night. Once I counted ten women in 14 days. Tela, who does that???? Poster Child, we should all get snapshots, make a collage of these men and place them in the post office!

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  5. eoftheu2014

    Let’s be clear here … not one victim/girlfriend. Several! A different woman every single day! I should be honest here and say that I knew this was his behavior before I started dealing with him. But I thought it was weird, had never seen anything like it in my life and laughed about it. I never thought (1) I never thought he would even come my way. He had to know I knew. (2) When he did, I never thought he would or could actually get worse. I take full responsibility for my silliness. I just thought he was a pig! Never did I believe he had a serious personality disorder. If there is a poster child for a narcissist, I think it’s him!!!

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