A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Who Am I


Where did I go? Who is this person I have become? How did ONE person take ME away from myself?

This is what happens when we become involved with a sociopath, psychopath and/or narcissist. Unbeknownst to us our whole world is silently being stripped away by the devils hot embrace. They strip away our peace, our happiness,and at times our sanity to feed their sick minds!

Life as we knew it PRIOR to the socio will never be the same. We now have to learn to trust again. We have to learn to love again. We have to find peace of mind again. But first, we have to overcome the FEAR that was placed in us. This is not fear of something you see. This is FEAR placed in our minds by the sociopath to gain the control they had. Were you ever Threatened if you did not comply with their demands? Were you told you would loose something {or someone} if you continued to ‘act’ how you did? Were you afraid if you defended yourself {words and/or actions}, it would set the sociopath off into a narcissistic rage? Were you afraid of losing your Sociopath because you love(d) them so much and you know/knew they love(ed) you back if you just act right? Did you watch an innocent child’s life ruined by the evil mind of a sociopath/psychopath? Did you find yourself silently pleading with God, please stop this crazy shit from happening? How many FEARS did your sociopath, psychopath place in you?

All men and women who were with a Sociopath are left to wonder ‘what happened to me’, ‘what did I do to deserve this’. YOU did NOTHING! It was the UNLUCKIEST day of your life the moment you met them. Because we do not have a do-over button, we have to first recognize it IS NOT and WAS NOT something we did to deserve what happened. This is who we were, innocent people falling right into the blind trap set by the evil of a Narcissistic Sociopath.

Overcoming the fear is a constant daily struggle. Anything can set the fear foremost in our minds, something as a song, or opening up your email only to see one from your Ex, to being face to face with them {especially those of you with children or other circumstances}. Fear is laying in bed at night wondering ‘will I ever be ME again? Fear is, trusting no one! Fear is, will I ever have peace? Fear is, will I be able to love again? Fear is, will I live in fear the rest of my life?


14 Responses to “Who Am I”

  1. ken

    Wow – your writing is so strong and to the point. I’m going through it right now. Any way I can write to you directly – not ready to post my life online.


  2. Constance

    I look forward to being able to let go of that fear, and the hyper vigilance. My good friend told me recently that it seemed to her like I think he still has power over me. I think it’s the conditioning, the PTSD, and the fact that he’s stalking/harassing me.

    @afterthepsychopath the ex narcopath claimed to have anxiety issues. I don’t believe it. I think he was mirroring me, as he knew that I have depression and anxiety. They’re lying if their mouths are moving. That could have been just another part of his script.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tela

      Thank you @thephoenixagain.wordpress.com for your comment. My Sociopath has severe anxiety issues (of which i have a draft for a future post). I have to agree with you on the PTSD! Who of us, that have been victimized and terrorized by a psychopath, narcissist , or sociopath do not have some level of PTSD! And you are so correct about the ‘lying if their mouths are moving’. ~cheers~


      • Constance

        I look forward to reading Tela. 🙂 Maybe the ex narcopath did have anxiety. He refused to get himself help, and used mine to put me down.


    • Tela

      Thank you @lessonsinthefire.wordpress.com. All of us victim’s and survivors of these evil sociopath’s, psychopath’s have a great deal of fear in place. One day at a time to overcome it. Welcome to my blog. Please share your story here so that other victims will understand they are NOT alone. Welcome to my blog. ~cheers~


    • Tela

      Thank you @teelahart.wordpress.com for your comment. How did the ‘encounter’ go? I am going to write a post about boundaries and would like to hear from you (and other’s) if you have them in place, and does your Xcrazy abide by them. ~cheers~


      • Teela Hart

        I wrote a post about it “The Next Step”.
        He has tested the boundaries a few times. I have a hard time when he does. However, I stick to them and he gets the message for a little while before he does something else.


  3. afterthepsychopath

    Wow… I could have written that…. ❤

    The more stories I read about psychopaths, the more I understand how they are all the same, even if their lies and personalities are different.

    I thought my ex-psychopath was different, but no, everything people write seems to resonate on some deeper level. The psychopaths may have different methods, to hook different people. They may have different agendas and different needs and different personalities, but the effect of their abuse seems to be so similar it is almost uncanny.

    The only thing I don't recognise in other people's stories are :
    1) Lack of anxiety.
    My ex-psychopath said he struggled with anxieties, but I don't know what they were about. Possibly his anxiety was about being found out… Or keeping track of his network of lies? Or maybe he just said it to justify his lack of contribution (no work, no money, no help around the house)?

    2) No contact.
    My ex-psychopath just disappeared, after telling me he loved me and that he would "just go out for 30 minutes", and he has harmed me by not giving information at all. I don't even know his real identity, as he probably had a fake passport and a fake life story. He lied about everything! His way to harm me, was to leave me in complete emotional confusion, by giving no information, with a lot of real life trouble hitting me hard because of his sudden departure. He created complete chaos for me, harming my family, my company and my social status (and me) and then ran off. I did not notice any of his crazy lies and doings until after he was gone. He literally left me several practical, social and emotional bombs, all of them timed to be going off when he was far away. I fear more such bombs. Like bombs causing physical harm, for example (poisoned food/items in my house?). It really is hard to live in uncertainty, as it amplifies the paranoia I already felt when realising he was not who he said he was.

    I do not doubt it would be hell also to have an ex-psychopath stalking you, like you do, thought.

    I guess normal people have a healthy middle ground, where they inform their partner that the relationship is over, and then leave you alone. I so wish I had had a normal break-up and a normal partner.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tela

      Thank you @afterthepsychopath.wordpress.com for your commment. I liked your blogged to my post ‘Who Am I’. Your XPsycopath is different from most as he did the disappearing act. My XSocio would as well, and then give me a lame lie, excuse as to where he was! I caught on to the bullshit though, and stopped swallowing the lies. ~cheers~

      Liked by 1 person


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