A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

No Contact ~

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No contact is essential. Your pride and dignity are riding on it. You have the upper hand with no contact, Hang on to with dear life.

Establishing, and then sticking to the no contact with a sociopath is extremely difficult, at best! However, it has to be done or the viscous cycle of hell you have been in will continue. You probably want answers to many many questions, but you will never get those answers. And if you do, they most certainly will be more lies.

Whilst you are left reeling from the life spent in crazy with your Narcissist Sociopath, they have sailed on to their next victim. There are so many things you want to say to them, but your words will fall on deaf ears. The months and years you spent giving of yourself to the sociopath, they gave nothing! They came into the relationship giving you nothing, and they leave with your heart and spirit.  But you can and will recover! You just have to establish the no contact, and stick with it!! Here are some reasons why the no contact is imperative:

  • You want to have the last word, you want them to understand the pain they have caused-remember, they don’t feel mental & emotional pain.
  • You want them to apologize. An apology will do what? Make you feel better for a moment? Remember Sociopaths are never wrong
  • You still love them. You are in love with the illusion  they created of themself to manipulate you. Understand, they never loved you, they are incapable of love.
  • You feel sorry for them. This is an easy ploy the Sociopath uses to manipulate you back in. Do they feel any remorse or sorrow for the destruction they caused you? Absolutely not! Remember, they are without consciousness.
  • You want answers & accountability for things they said and did to you during the relationship. A sociopath is not going to take accountability for anything! Even if you have positive proof of their lies and deceit.!
  • You want to know how they could walk away so easily. They can do this because they are hollow, soulless individuals.
  • Sociopaths destroy us piece by piece. By not allowing contact you will be able to start putting the pieces back together.
  • You want to see how (or with whom) they moved on-if you have them as a friend on Facebook-BLOCK them immediately! If you snap-chat, block them. Block them on your phone. Any means of contact you have had with your Narcissist Sociopath you need to remove and/or block. All you will be doing is causing yourself more pain. It does not matter who they moved on to next, they don’t care what is happening with you, so give them the same lack of respect! And just know, it will be only a matter of time before their next victim realizes who and what they are. Let that give you some peace.

You will find yourself, early on in the no contact stage fighting many emotions. You will have an overwhelming urge to contact your Ex, and then that feeling will subside followed by anger, then more questions and so on. This is completely normal! The end of a relationship is like a death, it has to be grieved. It is a death of your future together with that person,  a death of the love you had for them.  And during grief you are on a  roller coaster of emotions, sometimes hourly! But remember, during the no contact you will start to see things more clearly……the manipulation spell you have been under starts to dissipate.

If you feel like you just have to contact your Ex, compose an email and save it to drafts, DO NOT SEND IT.  {I will have a post about establishing boundaries if you have to have contact because of children and/or other situations that bind you to the sociopath}. It does help to get your words out, however getting those words out to the Ex does nothing except give them control again. If you want to text because you ‘miss them’, or want to know ‘how they are’….again, you are giving back control! They have your number, and your email, IF, big IF they  wanted to contact you~they would. But sociopaths do not work in reverse….they are constantly moving forward looking for the next source of supply. Be the one that end’s the supply source from you!

You are a strong person! And you can do this! You may have to establish the no contact multiple times because you are just crawling yourself out of hell. And it’s ok! Each day that goes by is another day YOU are healing. The scars will forever remain, the pain however will eventually lessen.  You may be starting your life completely over, and we all have fear of the unknown…try not looking past today (or tomorrow). The Future Happens One Day At A Time

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10 Responses to “No Contact ~”

  1. marilynmunrow

    Wow this hits the nail right on the head. Amazingly accurate and a good read too. I have been in this very situation, but survived to tell the tale. Some dont.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. betternotbroken

    This was a very good post. It helps so much to have validation, as I piece together my life and try to identity where I made mistakes, but it was steeped in crazy made by another person. Thank you. I look forward to reading your post on communicating when children are involved.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Tela

      Thank you @betternotbroken.wordpress.com for you comment. I do want to say something about your statement ‘try and identify where i made mistakes’….if your like most of us, the “MISTAKE” you made was falling in love with an illusion that man created for you. Try not to be hard on yourself! We are left spinning in the dust of the destruction they left of us in……WELCOME to my blog. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • betternotbroken

        Thank you for the Welcome, I admit I reacted emotionally when you responded because while i never blame the victim, there were let’s call them lessons that I needed to learn to break the cycle for myself and my children. I would like to share my “mistakes” AKA lessons so it may help others. Thank you for your support, I did not value myself enough and I chose fear. I want others to be empowered to get away from psychopathic and sociopathic relationships, fear is no way to go. I will take your kind and wise reminder though as I clean up the destruction and dust and treat myself gently. I look forward to your future posts.

        Like

      • Tela

        Sharing your ‘lessons’ is a great way to help other’s. Although each relationship with a Sociopath, Psychopath is different {in the sense they all look different}, the similarities are, these are extremely emotionally and mentally damaging, to us, the survivor’s.

        Like

  3. Teela Hart

    Nicely put. I still have to “communicate”, b/c the judge gave the children the right to choose if they want to see him. Most times they don’t, but when they do, I have refer to the boundaries long before he arrives. If he calls….I don’t answer. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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