A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Smear Campaign

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A Smear Campaign is the epitome of a sociopath caring about absolutely nothing!
When the smear campaign begins with a Narcissistic Sociopath, it is an intentional, premeditated effort to discredit our reputation ,character and quite simply, our total being.  This premeditation is done in the same way a criminal puts into motion his act of crime. With a smear campaign, the Sociopath strategically starts recalling all the things you have ever shared with them regarding your own personal experiences (ie: triumphs/failures), any and all things shared about people closest to you, or anyone you had a relationship with prior to them. They then take this information and set out to destroy you emotionally and mentally and sometimes financially. If you have children with a Sociopath, they will also use the children to try and destroy you.

They do this for fear! Fear of being found out for what they truly are, cardboard, empty, vile, viscous individuals. They also do this also as revenge.  The more they are exposed, the less likely to find additional sources of their supply.  And by supply, I mean, whatever they need from an individual for their own personal gain~and nothing more. Exposing them, and limiting their supply source  places them in unfamiliar territory! They have a grandiose thought process, whereas, they will never believe ultimately there are consequences to their actions and/or verbal warfare., and therefore they think they have an endless supply of their ‘needs’. By placing them in this fear of exposure, this is where we see the darkest side of a sociopath. The hollow, soulless individual they actually are. A Narcissistic Sociopath are the master’s of ruination~ and they will do whatever they think necessary to protect their (clouded/distorted) image they have of themselves.

Some of  the more common  tactics a sociopath uses for his smear campaign are:

  • contacting your friends and family-using an inflated excuse as to why they are contacting them (usually another elaborate lie they concocted).
  • social media- any and every social site you may be on and they have access to, they will use to the furthest degree of ruination
  • email-again, if they had access to your contacts be assured they have the list and will send out the most vile emails about you, and discredit you.
  • co-workers-they will take anything you may have said about your career and twist that into lies, lies and more lies.
  • mutual friends-they will use the mutual friends for more ‘supply’. By discrediting you, the Sociopath believes that your mutual friends will swallow every word they say and take that as truth.
  • Targeting a new love interest in your life. Feeding them spoonfuls of Poison  trying to discredit you as a partner.

There is no easy way through the smear campaign. You will even begin to question your own sanity! And this is exactly what the Sociopath wants you to do. During this stage of smear, you will want to ask the Sociopath ‘why are you doing this’, ‘why are you saying these lies about me’. You will continually be on the defensive , but this has no bearing on them. If anything, your questions will just be the fuel they need to continue this emotional assault.  This is the most damaging of stages with a Sociopath. You think the devalue stage is the worst…..and no doubt, it is also very emotionally and/or mentally destructive. The devalue stage is geared specifically toward you, the individual. During the smear campaign , this is not only geared toward you, but also geared to destroy whatever relationships you have with other individuals and/also your career. Remember, the Smear Campaign is for total ruination! Tips for surviving this (because it is {or will be survival  if you haven’t gone through it yet}. These tips are to stop the Sociopaths supply source of your ruination.

  • delete or remove any social websites you have!
  • change your passwords to emails/bank accounts etc.
  • at this point~your family and closest friends will have to be told what is happening. Like a lot of us, we don’t want to always share very personal things, but they need to be made aware of what is happening at this stage, prepare them for the ‘battle’
  • do not say anything negative about the Sociopath to your children! They are already in a state of chaos and confusion. Do not add to it with more negative.
  • reach out for support!! Be it the same family and/or friends the Sociopath is targeting with your smear campaign. Or research how to deal with this stage! It’s very important you remember~you are not what the Sociopath is making you out to be!!
  • stop supplying the Sociopath with anymore ‘ammunition’. they will try and suck you back in, and will use once more, anything you say to ruin you.
  • Remember~you are NOT ALONE! There are many, many victims/survivors of this horrific abuse.

“I hope you see what you’ve done to me.”    matthew little, “hell in a basket”

 

©SociopathLife.com

38 Responses to “Smear Campaign”

  1. lisakeepitreal

    If you are related to, married to, or divorced from a narcissist, then you know how difficult it is reason with them.

    Narcissists are masters at manipulation. They are often intelligent and charming when you first meet them. In the beginning, you hold them to such high esteem (of course to which they are fully aware) and they love to bask in your adulation.

    But once you catch on to their tactics, and question behavior that is opposite of their once-charming selves, they become deeply threatened. They will then paint themselves as a victim and you as their aggressor, and expertly blame you for the relationship’s demise, and all other misfortunes in their life.

    And you, as the codependent, try to reason with him, change his mind, or challenge every verbal assault point-by-point in hopes that he snaps out of his irrational behavior.

    Maybe this time he will understand, you think.

    If I explain it to him this way, he will get it. He can’t be THAT close-minded, I’m going to tell him once more.

    But the more you explain, the colder and more manipulative he becomes. He may talk to you like a child, as if you’re stupid. And you can’t even believe how a person can lack such empathy, so you explain more, trying harder and harder to make him “get it” — and the more you do that, the more it supplies his narcissistic fantasies that he is better and smarter than anyone.

    The constant attempts to explain or get some kind of emotional response with no return ~it’s a deep, black hole that sucks you in, with no way out. And until you understand this, you are going to think you’re crazy, unloved, or worse, that you aren’t worthy of anyone else’s love so you end up staying with this person or being alone forever.

    If you are not married and trying to end a relationship with a Narcissist, then the expert advice is to have no contact with him. You end the relationship cold-turkey, as if giving up a very bad addiction.

    But what if you are divorcing a narcissist, or you must endure a co-parenting relationship long term — how do you manage the constant manipulation even as you try to get on with your life? He might blame you for the smallest mistakes (thereby raising his own false self-worth), or he criticizes you for everything you do with the kids. And because he is SO falsely mistaken, you write him a long email, explaining your actions, or you become ensued in a long texting battle.

    The pen is mightier than the sword. I have to believe that is true. The depth of sorrow knows no bounds when fighting a sociopath narcissist. That is a joke. You cannot fight a sociopath. They do not have the capacity to lose. They must win at all cost and they will bring you down to the lowest rung on the ladder. Lower than you ever thought you could go. And when you think it cannot get any worse, and when you think you cannot feel any more helpless than you do right now they bring you down another notch. And this continues day after day, month after month, year after year until you decide you have had enough. When you finally get the courage, you will try to fight for what is rightfully and legally yours. You might think the law is on your side if you live in a community property state like California but let me give you a piece of advice from a person who has been trying to divorce a sociopath for 2 years. Do not bother looking for justice, there is none. The law can be manipulated by a manipulator.

    There is nothing I can do to stop this process. It has a life of its own. I cannot get my attorney to settle this, I cannot stop the forensic accounting and legal fees. It just keeps on going like the Energizer bunny. My sociopath needs some major karmic payback. But there is no such thing as karma with a sociopath. They have no conscience, never feel guilt, shame or empathy. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate him and it is wasted hate. He does not care I hate him. The only thing the hate does is to eat me up inside. Of all the emotions I have experienced in the last two years nothing has been beneficial other than positive. The fear did not help anything. The anger got me nowhere. The anxiety failed to produce any positive experience and the depression just sapped my energy and stopped me from accomplishing those things that needed my attention the most; my family and my business.

    From someone who has endured more emotional pain than she ever thought she could, the only thing left is to try to help someone else in similar shoes so they do not have to go through the same torturous experience I have gone through. So here it is my advice to you is if you have children, protect them at all cost. Then your goal should be to do whatever it takes to get the sociopath out of your life. Do not try to find justice. There will never be any. If you need to walk away, then walk away…strike that, run away. Do not fight him, it is not worth it. No amount of money in the world is worth this horrible emotional pain. The sociopath is abusing you then the lawyers are, the court system, the judge, the forensic accountants. You cannot win with a sociopath. You will never get him to feel remorse. You will never get him to say he is sorry. You will never get him to acknowledge his behavior. He will never see how cruel he is.

    It is impossible for you to not feed into your anger and your helplessness when you have children with a sociopath ex you live this ever-evolving, never ending nightmare 24/7 with no end game. Equally horrific is that your family and friends who love you, the only people you have in the world that you can turn to for love, support and loyalty end up being the ones who untended hurt you the most with their love and support because it is impossible for them to help you and that is inconceivable for them and you to accept. The best thing you can do for yourself is to accept that you are alone. It’s not going to be easy, it is going to take great strength, you’re going to have push yourself harder. Once you accept this gut, soul, heartwrenching fact…the best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to start a new life, knowing you may never heal from the pain is your best weapon to help you redirect your negative energy into positive energy. Get things done. The only justice that exists is one day your children will see him for what he is and that is when he find himself all alone. The thing that he fears the most will come true. That is the day you will have your justice. You just won’t be around to see it because you will be off somewhere enjoying your life. I hope.

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    • Pauline Dolman

      I lived with ,a abusive husband who took pleasure in se xual force,the next man was I know now Is a sociopath ,he didn’t want intimacy just to degrade,why do I attract them?I survived both ,how can they be so similar yet so different? Thankyou

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      • Tela

        Pauline, I am not sure why you ‘attract’ these sort’s of individuals. I suggest that you take a look at what pattern of men you date. What ‘attracts you’ to them? From the outset, especially after being married to a Sociopath, you should know the RED FLAGS to look for.
        If you really take some time to think about what you said ‘how can they be so similar yet so different’, you only stated about intimacy. What about mental & emotional abuse? What about manipulation? Lie’s?

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      • lisakeepitreal

        Pauline.

        FIRST Realize that it’s not your fault. You have been dealing with a sociopaths. You have been tricked, deceived and manipulated. He was deliberately moulding your reality, influencing your decisions and directing your thinking and behavior. Whatever happened during this time is not your fault. You did not realize what was going on. You were not fully informed. You need to, forgive yourself. And realize that you do not have to apologize to other people either for what he has done to you.

        Most of us believe that people are basically good inside and everybody just wants to be loved. Because we do not know that there are exceptions to these beliefs—namely, sociopaths—we have huge blind spots that these predators can exploit. No normal person intentionally becomes involved with a lying, manipulative sociopath. You never knew about the behavior.

        Sociopaths engage in calculated seduction, in the beginning of the involvement is a wonderful honeymoon of admiration and promise.
        But sociopaths have the incapacity for Love. A romantic relationship is just another opportunity to find a trusting partner who will buy into their lies. They play a part so they can get what they want. Sociopath’s have a need to justify their crimes. In the romance department they need their victim’s affirmation, respect, gratitude and love. They seem to have an innate ability to find the weakness in lovers, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim.

        Outgoing and persuasive charm. They have the ability to gain affection, disarming with words, showering their victims with gifts and intriguing them with grandiose plans. Once we are hooked, the sociopath begins the exploitation, while simultaneously ramping up manipulation to keep us under control.

        There romantic relationships are in name only. They are ended whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without depth or meaning, including marriages. As I said in my above post here, I am divorcing a sociopath and it is HELL. He is the DEVIL.

        For me, seeing a Psychologis is an incredibly useful thing to do and very often overlooked when people are looking for help in dealing with a sociopath or a narcissist. Every step after this one becomes so much easier when you understand the motivations and tactics of the sociopath as well as how mind control works. A therapist who specializes in this area will help you to understand the steps taken by the sociopath to capture you and manipulate you. This is important for several reasons. Firstly, it means you’re able to see the relationship for what it is, something totally false that the sociopath creates in order to manipulate your emotions.

        Secondly, the sociopath loses his power over you. He can no longer manipulate you in the same way and the effect he has becomes minimal.

        I am going to share with you a portion of the letter my Psychologist sent to my Divorce Lawyer:

        1. Involvement with a sociopath is like living in a black hole of chaos. Your client, the target, has probably had every aspect of her life disrupted:

        Career interrupted
        Finances ruined
        Health compromised
        Home and property neglected
        Relationships shattered

        This also involve:s

        Isolating the target from her support network

        Emotional, psychological, sexual and financial abuse

        Gaslighting—making doubt her own perceptions

        What you need to understand about your client:

        By the time the legal action commenced, your client may has already been in free fall for a long time. She feels overwhelmed by the magnitude of the issues that need to be addressed.

        2. Involvement with a sociopath can cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). At one time PTSD was diagnosed only in relation to a single traumatic event that involved risk of serious injury or death, coupled with intense fear, horror or helplessness. A new definition identifies a type of PTSD that results from cumulative trauma and long-term injury.

        3. PTSD is a psychiatric injury (not a mental illness). PTSD causes biochemical changes in the brain and affects certain areas of the brain’s anatomy. Common symptoms include intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating and exhaustion.

        4. The litigation against the sociopath makes your client re-experience the underlying trauma and triggers the symptoms of PTSD. Dr. Karin Huffer, in her book Unlocking Justice, explains what happens:

        Mentally reliving the trauma during legal proceedings simultaneously activates parts of the brain that support intense emotions while diminishing the functions of the central nervous system that controls motor output, regulates physiological arousal, and impedes the ability to communicate in words. Memory fails and intrusive emotions sabotage concentration on the task at hand. Litigants feel incapable of the spontaneous verbal response and interaction required in typical courtroom exchanges. As a result, the litigant with PTSD might be driven to avoid topics. They literally do not hear them. They disconnect when they need to engage. And, at times, they clearly are nonfunctional and are unable to communicate their symptoms and needs in a formal manner accepted by the courts.

        5. Targets of sociopaths have been deceived, betrayed and perhaps subject to violence. They approach the courts expecting justice, which sociopaths actively thwart. When justice is denied, and targets instead experience profound and prolonged injustice, their PTSD takes on another dimension, which Huffer identifies as “Legal Abuse Syndrome.”

        Your client’s experience

        The goal of this letter is to help you understand what your client has experienced. My objective is to explain why she may be having difficulties with the litigation process, and difficulties moving on in life. The sociopath intentionally used your client—for years—and is intentionally attempting to destroy her now.

        Your client is not irrational, lazy or obstinate. Your client is having a normal reaction to profound betrayal.

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  2. Susan

    My heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with or had to deal with a narcissistic sociopath. My mother and older sibling are narcissists. The abuse never let up unless my father was present, however, there was an unspoken rule that I was not allowed to complain to my father or there would be hell to pay, and I knew that hell would be delivered. To be clear, I was never locked in a closet, starved or physically tortured. To outsiders we looked like the perfect family. My mother had perfected her act of appearing to be the loving mother to the point that my teenage friends much preferred to hang out at my house over any of their houses. When I was 20 yrs old I moved 1200 miles away where I knew no one. It was a shock to me to find out that total strangers were so much kinder to me than my mother and sister were.
    People with disorder do not think there is anything wrong with their behavior and will be confused and very angry if someone tries to explain why their behavior is wrong. Bottom line: For narcissists it is all about control of others, and I mean control of every facet of their target’s life. I have been lied to, lied about,
    publically humiliated in front of family and friends, had money stolen out of my purse on a regular basis and treated like dirt by my sister, and my mother always backed her up and never disciplined or criticized her. The most bizarre thing they do is to make up scenarios in their minds and then actually believe that their made up scenario really happened. Yes, really.
    They will never take responsibility for their actions under any circumstances. My best advice is to get out and get away asap. The longer you have to deal with them, the more of yourself will be lost. Narcissists are the nastiest, most treacherous people you will ever
    have to deal with. Educate yourself about the games they play and the horrible lies they tell about you, and to you, so that you can spot them before they can really hurt you. They are everywhere and you must protect yourself and your children if you have any. Don’t talk yourself into putting up with them. Its so not worth it. Oh, and they will never change, because in their minds they are perfect. They may tell you they are working on changing, but that is just an act they use to keep their control of you. Don’t fight with them about anything. If they do get physically abusive, immediately make a plan to get away.

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  3. Sue

    Thank you for this insight. I am into a five year campaign by a woman neighbour.
    Through gatherimg information i have learnt to be more objective and see it al lfor what it is.
    One area iwould appreciate advice on is. . the people she targets with lies always end up completely ignoring me. So not know what is said..my guess is that she plays the victim card and they think i am the agressor…..what would be best way to deal with this…? Or how to approach them. if i ask outright they get very angry but do not give a reaaon for ignoring me.

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    • Tela

      Thank you Sue for sharing. First off, why did the neighbour start the Smear Campaign to begin with? And the people that she lies to, who end up ignoring you, does that really matter? Are they close friends? IF so, they should KNOW what the neighbour is saying is nothing but pure lies. Personally, I would step out of that ‘circle of circus’ and go about your business.

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  4. Luke

    I too have been dealing with a sociopath for 11 years now. My sociopath however, is my wife, all the symptoms are the same. A secret double life on Facebook, multiple affairs, and the smear campaign is unreal. My wife and her lover, girlfriend, which I knew nothing about, had me arrested on false charges. I spent 14 hours in jail and thank God the truth was revealed and the charges were dismissed with prejudice, the police told me this is a polite way of saying she lied. I’ve never been arrested before, all lies, pure, vicious, mean lies. Who would do something like this? My sociopathic wife and her girlfriend thought they were so clever, but in reality they are hurtful and cause confusion in the life of a child.
    The truly sad part to this story is our 10 year old son, who has a broken heart and a broken family as a result of my wifes infidelity, and sociopathic mind. Few seem to care that a child’s heart breaks easily. I am so grateful for this site and others to help me move on with understanding, courage, strength, and seeing others who have similar stories. She will never be the person I thought I married. I filed for divorce and I know from reading these materials to have no contact with her. This makes no sense, we have a wonderful child together, unfortunately this is who she is. I am glad to know that I am still good man and I was truly targeted because of my kindness and my empathy and my love. I will never understand the heartache, pain, confusion, that she has caused , at least I understand there’s nothing I can do about it except stay as far away from her as I can and move on with the rest of my life.

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    • Emily

      I’m in a similar situation I think. I’m not sure what to believe I even started questioning myself as if I was wron . My so called boyfriend, left me for a man

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  5. Deborah Charley

    I have been struggling with a sociopath for 10 years. It has all but completely destroyed me and my children. I felt alone in this, but now I see I’m not the only one. Im in yet another custody battle and have had a smear campaign against me for a decade. Im most disappointed by the professionals and court system that have failed to recognize what’s happening and help us. This tragedy has left both my children with mental health issues and physical illness from stress. Not to mention what it had done to me. I wish there was some help.

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    • Tela

      Thank you Deborah for your comment and sharing. I do have to agree with you that the court system needs to be seriously educated on ASPD. It becomes a battle of he said/she said and a Sociopath is so skilled at vocalizing such insane lies, destroying a person’s character with their delusional lies, and has zero regards for the best interest of the children. It all comes down to control! Have you and your children visited with any sort of therapist to help you?

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      • Deborah Charley

        Yes, after years the court ordered therapy for the children. The problem is the therapist are fooled by my ex as well to great degree. The kids feel angry because everyone who has interviewed them or are there to “help” them, just don’t help. The children feel no one believes them. It’s his word against the theirs. I on the other hand have been subjected to all my health records being available to my ex and I have getting medication for depression being held against me!! So much so that I have volunteered to have a psych evaluation!
        So I couldn’t go to anyone therapy if I wanted to, it’s all twisted around to add to the smear campaign. It seems like I’m basically in a prison with no way out until the kids are 18. My sadness is for the children…it’s ruined their childhood.

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  6. Michelle

    One day I will be able to share my story. It is the same, and I am still in hell, but I see it, and I always knew it, but ignored and rationalized his behavior. I am learning to keep my mouth shut because you can’t win. He has destroyed my ever have a relationship with his family with his smear campaign. He tried to vent my kids and family against me and each other, but think God our love for one another has saved me. I lay next to him now and recoil as he lays his hand on my leg in affection. I know it’s not real , that he can’t love. Yesterday, he was so verbally abusive, and today he texts me that he wants to take me to dinner and shopping. I am constantly looking over my shoulder, making sure I left nothing that he could use and construe to hurt me. I fear leaving him alone with people just to go to the restroom because of the lies he tells about me. I can go on and on. I have a plan, and will be getting out soon. The plan is in motion and just have to get through two more weeks with this fake person sick person. He has damaged my soul in ways I could never explain. He has never physically abused me, but he got in my head, played on my fears , ready my journals I have been keeping for years. I knew this because when we would fight he would use things he red to hurt me. When I realized what he had done I felt violated in the worse way. He has shared all my pain with anyone that listens. We have no friends together, and I don’t allow him to know anything about me or my kids. He throws his wedding rings away, tears up cards and pictures. Everything is replaceable to him. I think he is on his fifth ring. He has tried and almost succeeded in breaking me, but you will never break me because I see you for what and who you are, and you no longer control me, but for now I am quiet and let you hold the control, and think your in control. Pray for me friends. Thank you!

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    • Tela

      Thank you Michelle for sharing. Yes, you do feel violated, emotionally raped, mentally abused when involved with a Sociopath. They are a constant spinning mess of mental bullshit. I hope you are able to leave this horrific relationship soon {if not already}.

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    • wanderlat71

      It doesn’t matter what sex we are, their traits are the same. Heard my words come out during arguments from my diary they chose to read, remarks to me about what one of my exes said (in the diary). No boundaries.

      Going through it all right now, that I still cannot begin yet to expound on it all. Good luck to you.

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  7. slightedsoul

    After a 12 year marriage [a one yr seperation at 9yrs after he strangled me] I was accused of being not only an abusive wife and mother of 4, I was also accused of being bipolar and refusing to take my medication. This, and the support of my step-son given to him, was all he needed to have me arrested, sent to jail, obtain a temporary injunction against me (causing me to find refuge for the next two weeks until the hearing and keeping me from contacting my then 11 yr old son…not even a phone call was allowed) and ultimately obtaining a 2 year injunction against me (I had no defence due to a lack of the accusations, very bad attorney but thats another story all together). Finally divorced after 2 years and I’m just finding out why my friends and family hadn’t been there for me during such a horrible time…they’ve all been convinced that I have a mental illness. The only advice I had was everything I could find on the internet since I literally had NOONE. I found the two most important things to do were, No Contact (which is impossible when co-parenting) and to disconnect from anyone that; continues a relationship with the psycho, minimizes my pain and what I’ve gone through, and/or degrades me in any way. I took this advice and ran with it as much as I could. All this has done is make me appear to be alienating my son from his father and due to disconnecting from some people, my family is further convinced that I have a mental illness because they don’t understand the need to do such a thing. I’m again left completely alone, only one person believes my sanity is intact…my now 14 yr old son. He was the only one witness to the things that had gone on for so may yrs. And I didnt have to say one negative word about his father. (2 other children are adults and step-son was never around) I feel like I’m back to square one in my recovery…

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    • Tela

      Thank you for your comment. You may be back at square one, but don’t loose site of ‘you’. Your ex is the epitome of Sociopath, having to spread the lies, discredit you, obtaining the injunctions…..all so that he was not exposed! It is definitely an uphill battle for you, by having boundaries in place ie: the amount of contact with the ex, & disconnecting from anyone who has a relationship with him, you will ultimately win your battle. You may not ever get custody, or there will be people who question your sanity/state of mind, just continue to make progress in the healing. It is easy for people on the outside to pass judgement etc, only you know the hell you have been in! Stay true to yourself.

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      • slightedsoul

        Thank you for your response. I appreciate the encouragement, however, “losing site of yourself” seems to be one of the major goals of a sociopath and one of the biggest challenges for the victim in the end. My career had been Wife and Mother the majority of the marriage. Now I’m left with no education, no job experience for the past decade, a criminal charge (FL, not convicted), and a chaos filled mind of mush. Finding employment will be a miracle. I had never been a weak person before him, insisting if I were ever treated badly that would end the relationship. I’d like your readers to know how hard it is (next to impossible) to detect what’s happening. It happened so slowly, I was clueless. Even after he strangled me… such a wonderful man that never even had any friends because he was so focused on his family must have had an isolated incident of built up frustration (that I surely had something to do with). I would just make sure it would never come to that again… and again and again… Thanks to the adrenaline a mother experiences when her children are in danger, I was able to fight for the first few months after the incident. I obtained my own injunction against him, fought the criminal charge, and gained custody of my son! In the end, I’m left with my youngest son and daughter. Everyone else had been manipulated into believing I’m crazy, even my oldest son. I have to see everyone at a gathering next week which is why I wrote. Just the thought of facing them causes overwhelming anxiety and not going isn’t an option as it’s my daughters baby shower. I’ve struggled through 2-1/2 yrs of this nightmare only to be further degraded by my family. I’m broken, exhausted, with not an ounce of self esteem or confidence left. Even sought three different counselors and a trauma therapist…no help. They didn’t understand that my heart is fine, it’s my mind, my reality, and my passion for anything that are still broken. My fight or flight has finally turned off, I now welcome the end (not suicidal, would never give the psycho the satisfaction). I wish there were something I could do to help other women like me, that’s definitely something I could be passionate about. So sorry I wrote a book…

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    • Lori B

      Wow I totally can understand your pain and suffering. I would love to learn more of your story and to share mine. We have a lot in common. Please email me

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  8. armyofangels2013

    Wow! When I started reading this, it was like reading about myself! I tend to be pretty transparent, so filling in my friends (what there was left of them after the isolation) was not a problem… I caught on to the social media smear attempt and email hacking early on- Just when I think there could be nothing else NN could do, I get surprised-and not in a good way….

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    • Tela

      Thank you for your comment @armyofangels2013. There is no limit to what a socipoath, psycopath, narcassist will do during a smear campaign. Nothing and No-one is off limits to them! We just have to be consciously aware of what is going on and try and clean up the mess left behind. Welcome to my blog! ~Cheers~

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    • ally

      @ wicked survivor…i can relate friend. i managed to live through 11 years of pure hell and torment…and those were just the years i was with him physically! i had a heads-up, i had figured this one out, long before i left him. All i had to do, was look back…on his past ‘relationships’…and know what to expect from him. I knew the way he spoke of the women in his past, he playing the victim role, as usual, as always. I knew, if anyone had ears, eyes..or a brain..he would spill his vile onto them, telling his sad, sad story. he had a reputation, one that kept him on the move a lot. if things got a little to hot for him in one town, he’d move to another. he also moved a lot, in hopes of not being found out by new people,that and avoiding the law, who was always looking him for something he done.
      I was always amazed, at how he denied doing the very things…he was so ‘entitled’ to doing. Things, he felt, he had a right to do, when, doing those things..then he’d try so hard to deny ever doing them! It was pathetic..he was pathetic, sickening it was.
      Anyways, he is now dead, of cancer. On his death bed, he called for his stepson, whom he had abused for many, many a year. He didn’t tell the young lad he was sorry, of course he didn’t..he couldn’t. He called him, to tell him..excuses. Excuses, why he abused him for so long..”it was for your own good’ he said.Unless you can get a phone call from hell, I wont be getting any excuses, as to why he done me so bad. I certainly never got him to take any responsibility, or blame for beating, raping and verbally abusing me. Not to mention all the emotional abuse i suffered from his evil mind. All i ever got, was blamed..denial and excuses..never once any responsibility. he maintained his God like self created image..even on his edeath bed. Not once was he humbled..or saddened, by the things he had done on this earth, during his lifetime. Those close to him, only his immediate family. they, like him..had the same kind of attitude about his behavior, as did he, never any responsibility on their parts either. he shieleded and hid from those who did hold him to blame. he wouldn’t have any parts, of being blamed for something..or anyone who did. you had to think and see him as that false image, he thought he was. needless to say, not (1) single friend, was at his funeral! His nephews, all acted as pallbearers…because it was nobody else to do it!! That man had it bad, he was double dipped with it. im glad i ended it, wished i had long before then. can’t change that, can only make sure it never happens again!

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    • Tela

      Thank you for your comment @thewickedsurvivor.com. I think so many of us survivors can write similar words, have similar experiences etc. The sociopath’s, psychopath’s, narcissist may have different names and faces, but they all have the same agenda. Welcome to my blog. Please share your story here ere so that other survivors will understand, they are NOT alone. Welcome to my blog. ~cheers~

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  9. Sunshine

    Wow…sounds like you met my psycho! Lol. All you put down and did to a tee and more unfortunately for me…

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    • Tela

      Thank you Sunshine for your comment. I follow your blog as well and see so many similarities on what you and I {and countless other women/men} have endured!

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  10. Teela Hart

    I think I have been in denial for so long, I got out after 19 years, that when I read these posts it feels like an out of body experience. My own mother sided with this man, my father, children. I was completely and totally destroyed!
    Finding it difficult to re-build.
    Thanks for the post. I clicked on your link from “lips”.

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