A Healing & Informative Site About Narcissistic Sociopaths

Emotional~Rape..

Emotional Rape is a really strong way to describe what a sociopath does to us.  This is calculated & purposeful behaviour meant to attack our personalities, rather than our physical self.

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Above is just one of hundreds , many text sent to me from my Socio. When he couldn’t get a reaction out of me with his verbal warfare, he resorted to vile and viscous text messages. And always with a threat associated,  and an attack on my personality, as is evident in this text. This is one of several modes of operation for a sociopath! Remember, it is always what they want for their personal gain and nothing to do with the destruction of the relationship, or the emotional damage they do. They also are immune to accountability…..so in the instances he did in fact do what he said in the above text he always had a justification for every single thing! Example “you wouldn’t talk to me and i told you i would go find someone else”. Or, “I’m sick of your shit, i’m going to find someone who is nice and will treat me right”. Really?? And this could be while i was at work and could NOT talk to him. Or it could be after hours of relentless verbal assaults, and I would just simply stop responding. It is next to impossible to deal with a  sociopath when they are in one of their entitlement rages! With these kinds of words & actions, it is emotional rape to the person who made a commitment to enter into a healthy, “normal” loving relationship. And all the while being raped of her feelings because ‘i didn’t matter’. 

Sociopath’s spend a LOT  of time and energy into creating a false persona of themselves. While we are putting that same amount of energy into building the relationship, they are blindly ‘raping the positive’ out of it. The are pulling what they need and/or want at the time, all the while we continue to feed their sickness, not knowing what is happening.  Sociopath’s undermine our self-respect, and self-image, which leaves us open to more abuse. We then start to develop a sense of dependence on the sociopath which makes it very difficult to escape the circle of abuse. Because they are truly master’s at manipulation,  and during the course of the emotional rape, it’s like they know when to pull us back in with the right words/actions. And because we are already beat-down, we want to believe what they are saying or doing! Hence the ‘addiction, or dependence’ on them. 

After the emotional rape happens, and we are left reeling from the after effects, it is physically daunting to get through each day. The sociopath’s have no problem moving on….remember, they had no emotional ties to us in the first place. And that is truly difficult to accept! Even though, in our heart of hearts, we KNOW we are much better off without them. Yet  we can remember the ‘beginning’, and all the perfection. Little did we know it was *The Beginning Of The End* from moment one!

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This is one of the last set of multiple text from my sociopath. Knowing my reply with the ‘have fun’ would set him into a rage, I was able to send that and know….I am  FREE.  Those text no longer ‘hurt’, they no longer ‘attacked’ me.  And I feel sorry for the next victim(s) he prey’s upon.

©sociopathlife.com  ©sociopathworld.wordpress.com

14 Responses to “Emotional~Rape..”

  1. janet

    I think another sign you’ve been mind raped is when there seems to be no definite resolution like you’re going around in circles and can’t seem to recover and feel better. Its because you’re not dealing with a regular person and you’ll never get the respect and approval for what you had with them. They’ll all ways resort to insults and never show the kindness or empathy and will treat you as though you’re a piece of trash. Its up to you to do whatever you can to regain what you felt about yourself before. There’s unfortunately alot of people awful like this and that’s why they are available because they are incapable of loving someone and so nothing ever lasts with them. They only use people and think of themselves. Just tell yourself they are not worth another second of anguish and do whatever you can to be happy because they are not thinking about you at all. Just take it as a lesson to be learned and free yourself to be with someone who truly loves you and love yourself!!!

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      • Santaland

        I agree with you Janet, naturally Tela. It is rape to the nth degree. Those are the worst scars. My ex used to hit me, scratch me, grab my privates.., sure it hurt, but we recover…but the emotional rape is terrible. And I am a man, hence there is not difference between a male or female sociopath. We believed in the lie, we believed in the drug, and we were fools to be empathetic to them. They are predators, vampires and waste to the human race. Sorry to say.

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    • matijaturkaljsociopathicrape

      Sadly that is how sociopaths usually effect people. They make you think ur loosing your mind. That make u swim round and round in circles trying to figure out what you did wrong when all the while it was them that had planned to sabotage the relationship the whole time. I created a website about my experience with my abuser. I wanted to do so in hopes other victims realize they are not alone. http://wonderjwoman126.wix.com/matija-turkalj-ptsd

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    • C

      Thank you for your post!! My ex revealed his true self to me this week and I’ve literally described my situation as my soul being raped. It’s even harder because he was my shoulder to cry on after I was physically kidnapped and raped by a stranger at a club. He’s been such a mind f*ck- it’s kind of comforting to read the texts you post, your ex sounds exactly the same as mine. I guess in the end they are just crazy 🙂

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  2. janet

    There are so many variations of this kind of horrible person out there it seems these days. Alot of men have their con game down to make a woman think they care but really they just want sex and a girlfriend experience but not the girlfriend. Then when the jig is up they become nasty and brutal. And some of the women out there are psychopaths too they’re miserable with their lives and with their put downs and snide remarks and outright attacks they try to ruin your life too. I feel so so sorry for some of the nice single people out there that have to navigate this. Now that Im back in my marriage I’ve cut all ties to any toxic people and am very guarded.I think you have to be really really careful about who you date or befriend. If you’re lonely or vulnerable or not thinking straight you’re likely to be mistreated very badly and by the time you realize it the damage can be very deep.

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  3. foundingdiscipl

    Finally, a woman who understands rape isn’t always a physical act! Emotional rape often leads to women participating in unwanted sexual acts simply because they are too tired, too weak or harassed/threatened into compliance. I hate you experienced this. I appreciate your candor and thank you so much for sharing.

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    • Tela

      Thank you @plannerforhire@yahoo.com for the comment. And you are correct with the (unwanted) participation that happens to women because of emotional rape.

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  4. revgerry

    Tela,
    I know you read my post today about acceptance and boundaries, not letting your happiness be anyone else’s job – just yours.

    I have been where you are. I know it’s scary to let it be over. I once had an ex-husband who left me for another woman, and at 2AM he would be at my bedroom patio door, wanting to cry and talk. (and have sex). Worst part? I was so hooked into the belief that I needed him to make me happy (and that this time would be different) that I LET him.

    Your socio doesn’t see YOU. He sees an object to control. He never was ABLE to have a “healthy relationship,” and you wouldn’t want to BE him for anything, he’s full of inner turmoil, but you can’t change or fix him.

    I would change your end: NOT, ” they no longer ‘attacked’ me.” INSTEAD, ” they no longer attacked ‘me.’ ” do you see the difference?
    The precious “you” was never what was attacked. Give yourSELF some LOVE, dear, Tela, and be blessed.

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    • Tela

      Thank you for your brilliant comment Gerry~and you are right, being on the receiving end of countless lies/rages/etc. I lost ‘me’ and instead was constantly deflecting attacks. I will be writing a post about us survivors being just ‘objects’…..I’m sure anyone who reads this can agree. Thank you again~blessings to you!

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  5. Francesca

    I feel your pain. I’ve dealt with a sociopath as well. I had let him down gently several times. He tried to trick himself into thinking we were “together” by saying stuff like “I’m trying to remember the good times we had…” after I did give him chances to be friends. “I’m like what ‘good times’ where you confessed your love for me every week sending me massive emails and texts when I told you to leave me alone and you had just met me for three days and acted like you wanted to marry me…’ but he wouldn’t back off. The sick part of my situation was that it was a 62-year-old man acting very immature who was extremely obsessed with me and stalked me for nearly 3 years and I’m only 27/28. He had the NERVE to threaten a lawyer on me. I’m like what did I do?! He did the same things back so he’d get equally into trouble. He was repulsive in every way. He thought just because he had money he could buy me. It’s good to let those people go they aren’t good for anyone. Sooner or later they’ll learn eventually their behaviors won’t get who they want they should just move on and not throw tantrums. I’ve been rejected before, and depending on the situation I don’t dwell on it. They act like they’re the only ones who don’t get who they want. I said to him this could have ended long before anything else happened. I taught him a lesson that when I say no the first time he should actually back off and he finally left me alone for the past two years. I thought he was never gonna stop bothering me at the rate he was going.

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    • Tela

      Thank you Francesca for your comment. Unfortunately it is very, very difficult to end the relationship with a sociopath. I know there is a lot of articles, and professionals saying ‘no contact’..yet, we know how that doesn’t work. I am going to write a post about that!

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  6. Christopher Snell

    I think having a strong sense of self value that is a little more than anyone else can give me, is an empowering place to stand. Because all relationships that follow are equal or better to the quality of love I know I deserve, and I won’t stand for anything less… not for a second.
    My blessings to you…

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